Lazy Blog, Take Me Away!

Send Lawyers Guns and Money

I couldn't think of a title, so I just used the last song I heard. I miss Warren Zevon.

I was reading through some old blog posts of mine. Can you believe I posted 35 times in one month? That was years ago. That rate might kill me these days.

This is officially my 1015th post. My first post was four years ago tomorrow. That's about 250 posts a year for four years. I can't believe I had that much to say.

Most of my posts fall into two categories other than comics. Complaining/bragging about some Omaha hand, or being mean to someone for something stupid they did. The complaining and bragging probably didn't entertain anybody, and the being mean sure made me a lot of enemies.

I just tried starting a list of the enemies, but it would take too much time. Most of them are pretty smart guys, but there's something sad about them and their lives. You can feel it in their posts. Something is wrong, and it's not going to be fixed anytime soon.

I've been really lucky that this blog has introduced me to a lot of friends too. There are way too many of them to list also. And most of them have faded into the background of the poker blogging world. Some are still there, but most of them were never cut out for the high-flying freakshow that passes for online poker players these days. None of them ever tried winning ten grand with a month of twenty-five cent poker. The biggest thrills were meeting up in Vegas and playing some small stakes tournament, or going to a hotel suite in Cincinnatti for a birthday poker game. Not hitting the tables and using the proceeds for drugs and hookers. Their lives are quite a bit smaller than that.

I'm one of the ones who faded. Maybe it was the UIGEA, maybe my interest just started failing. I remember four tabling $50 O8 SNGs on Party Poker, occasionally taking a shot at a $100 game and feeling like a big shot. Those stakes are now laughably small time, and I can't even imagine playing that high now. I still play but very small and for very short sessions. When I get that pointless feeling, I quit. I don't chase bonuses and rakeback. I don't enter a big MTT to try and get that big score. I play some small cash. I jump into a turbo SNG.

I haven't phased poker out of my life or this blog. I still love it, and I still love reading about poker. God do I love poker blogs. I love reading about your home games. I love reading about your bad beats and your tournament wins. The struggles and the accomplishments all hit home with me. I used to be there with you, but now I just watch from the stands. But I'm still your fan. If you read me and you have a blog, I probably read you. Keep up the great work. Thanks for YEARS of entertainment, and the years to come.

Does UIGEA make Online Poker Illegal? Congress says "we won't say."

Interesting article from Ed Brayton's site:

The House Financial Services Committee refused to advance a bill that would require the government to define what is and is not illegal online gambling so that banks and credit card companies could have some guidance on which types of transactions it was required to block under the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006. They voted 32-32, which means the bill dies without going to a floor vote.

The problem is that the UIGEA requires banks, credit card companies and other financial services companies who facilitate cash transfers to block any and all transfers to websites that allow illegal online gambling, but they didn't actually define what was and wasn't illegal online gambling. The Bush administration claims that any form of gambling online not specifically authorized is illegal, but the courts have ruled that only online sports betting is illegal. This has created all sorts of problems implementing that legislation:

The Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department have been unable to finalize rules to implement the ban because Congress didn't clearly define online gambling when it passed legislation less than two years ago...

Banks and other financial institutions have complained that they are being forced into a law enforcement role because the Internet gambling ban prohibits them from accepting payments to settle online wagers without giving them a clear set of rules.

"The financial institutions are in the position of being told not process bets, but it's not clear what is legal and what is illegal," said Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., the committee's chairman. He said financial institutions had been given "a job that is undoable."

Naturally, the idiots who opposed the bill just talked about how horrible gambling is:

The committee's top Republican, Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama, argued that gambling is the fastest-growing addiction in the United States and having it online makes it accessible to children.

"The banks have decided that this is a financial burden," Bachus said. "We have decided, on the other hand, that our children are worth protecting."

That's not the issue, you moron. If you think it's important to block these transfers, then give the companies who have to do it some actual legal definitions so they can block them. The moral puritans don't want to do that because they know that legally they have no leg to stand on; under the Wire Act, only sports betting is illegal to do online. And they want it to remain unclear precisely so that the financial institutions will do what they're already doing and just block any transfer to any online gambling site.

If they made clear what the law actually says, then those companies would be legally in the clear to only block transfers to websites that feature online sports betting. That would make it possible for the online poker sites that pulled out of the American market to reopen to American customers. The moral puritans are deliberately refusing to define the law in order to force private companies to block as much as possible to avoid possible legal problems. This is a clear dereliction of their duty as legislators.

Type A

Last night I had a dream about being attacked by wild animals.

Not that I'm posting about my dream and what it meant. I hate people who describe their dreams to you and expect you to explain what it means. "You're very twisted," I always reply, even to the benign dreams.

What bothered me about my dream was that the entire time I felt it was a dream I'd had before, and I was upset about that. Not because it was a rerun but because I felt like I knew how the dream should go and it wasn't going exactly how it went before. My expectations were for a dream that I knew the results in advance, and I was more and more disappointed when things didn't work out the way I wanted.

Talk about control issues.

I woke up at 3:45 and wasn't able to get back to sleep before I had to get up at 4:45. I feel cheated out of an hour of sleep by my subconscious.

Uniquely Funny

Someone once said that all modern comedians are just doing an impersonation of Richard Pryor. With George Carlin, they didn't even try.

Rest in Peace, George.

Poker Comic #190

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Rectum Crevasse

Douchebag said:

And to the players who won ME seats, allusions of grandeur are prevalent during these times. Drop the ego, stop thinking about selling shares and keep the $12K. You'll thank me for it later...I promise.

Buzzkill much? You forgot to tell them to be embarrassed about winning it in the first place. And I'm not going to touch "allusions."

Too Lazy to Post

New is Fun

There's a new version of Mozilla Firefox coming out today, Firefox 3.0. Should be interesting, I'm a big fan of them so far. I'll be one of the first to try it out, hopefully.


Bodog announced a new client. They claim they've addressed the most sought after feature among their customers. Re-sizable tables. Is that correct? People want to change the size of tables more than poker tracker support? Hmmmm.


A new fun site I've been reading lately is I am Neurotic. There are some serious freaks out there. I've always been interested in OCD and compulsive behaviors. Just when you think you've got some kind of small understanding of it, you find out about some that just defy all explanation and make you say "what the fuck?"

What I think...

Somebody asked me what I think so I'll post it.

Hoy's not a cheat. You can play under whatever name you want, as long as you only have one and nobody else has used it before to establish an image. What is he supposed to do, take out an ad in the paper and publish his VPiP? Grow up. Play your own game.

Why is everyone so upset? Because they are a bunch of cliquish assholes. Hoy blew up smokkee's bit. He peed in his Cheerios. He said bad shit about Bodog, even though they were adding virtual cash to the prize pools.

So the fuck what? Yeah, if he was making up bad shit about Bodog I'd agree he was wrong. But if he was just telling the truth, how can you fault him for that? I have never heard anyone rant and rave about how great Bodog is (other than the free cash.) In fact I think the honest opinion of Bodog from most people is pretty darn negative.

And somebody said some mean shit in a blog, and that someone may or may not have been Hoy. Grow up. If your feelings are really hurt that Hoy and his buddies started a blog to make fun of you, you need to spend some of that bankroll on a LIFE.

Jeez, get a sense of humor people. Poker Champ would crush the shit out of all of you.

Nothing Really...

This guy Who thought he could win $10,000 at $25NL in 30 days quit, after only winning around $3K halfway there. One of his conclusions is that people at NL25 adjusted to him. It's tempting to think that the other online players know who you are and keep track of you, but at that level it might be foolish. This is twenty-five cent poker. I know there are people out there who track and examine 25-cent poker to death, but eventually they realize that all that work is pointless at such a low level. If they're still doing it at such small stakes, they're fairly clueless, aren't they?

********

I saw something I've never seen before while driving home last week. I like to take the back roads because it's generally more pleasant and I get better mileage at the slower speeds. There are a lot of farms and ranches on that route and I passed a guy riding towards me on a horse while talking on his cell phone. Never saw that before.

********

The car I usually drive to work is getting some work done (old cars = more maintenance) so I'm without my beloved XM Radio for most of last week and this week. The ultra-right wing Tennessee talk radio is beating the Senate up over the global-warming bill that was debated last week. It got killed on Friday but they're still ranting and raving over it this morning. This bill never had a shot. Even if it passed the senate which was unlikely, it would go to the house which would be an impossibility. If that impossibity happened, then the President promised to Veto it.

So why cover it on talk radio for a week and a half? Because the nutjobs have such a small opportunity to be correct, they have to hold on to one like it's GOLD. The left uses "global warming" to keep people afraid just like the right uses the threat of terrorism. They're both just ways to make you give up money and more power to the government. Both sides use anecdotal evidence to back up their claims. Politicians LOVE anecdotal evidence.

********

Vote for Bob Barr folks. We need to build a third party that actually thinks the people have a say in how their country is run. The left wants the politicians to have all the power, the right wants the rich and the corporations to have it all. The Libertarians want you to have it. Actually, we need to build a third party of ANY KIND. We need more choice.

Yes, Bob Barr won't win. But a legitimate third party has to build gradually. This is how it happens. Stop voting for the lesser of evils, like you have for your whole life. Vote to build something for the future. There should be more disenfranchised people this year than ever before. The right hates McCain. The Hillary lovers hate Obama. Wouldn't it be great if they all voted somewhere else than the default?

I'll be voting for Barr, since I actually can. The Libertarians weren't even allowed on the ticket in Oklahoma. They won't be this year either, in all likelihood. If enough people vote for Barr this year, maybe places like Oklahoma will have to start putting a third choice on the ballot in the future. Eventually maybe someone will have a choice between something other than big government, big business or both.

********

This post is BRUTAL. I was always really interested in BG and CJ's handicapping skills, especially in their Pick-6 prognostications. I regretted not participating, even after I found out they lost, I wish I had been part of the fun. After this, maybe I'm not as interested in the future. His pick for first came in last, his pick for last came in first. If you can qualify wrongness, this was the wrongest.

Finally, A Camera for Stoners

Yes, this is a real camera, the latest from Olympus. I love how they call it the world's smallest DSLR...as in "DUDE!! My hands are HUGE!"

Sometimes the ignorance of major corporations about pop culture is astounding.

At least now I know what I'm getting Dr. Pauly for Xmas.

How to know you're doing well

When you get called this in Full Tilt chat:

bigvak77: with 56 really
DuggleBogey: it was the nuts
bigvak77: u fuc;king fa;ggot azz bit;ch
bigvak77: fuc;k this gay azz table of losers

Either that or you're playing with Waffles...

RIP Bo Diddley

A square guitar tuned to an open chord.

Rest In Peace Bo Diddley

PokerBonuses.com

If you've already gotten your Free Poker Money and you've gotten enough poker chipsets/poker books/other gifts from Poker Source Online, check out PokerBonuses.com from the folks at PSO for nothing but the absolute best bonuses you'll find anywhere.

They went to all the Online Poker Sites they've dealt with in their four years of existence and asked them for their best bonuses. Those that stepped up to the plate with bonuses better than you could find anywhere else made the cut. Those that didn't aren't there.

If you just want the best bonuses, no bullshit, check the place out. It's still in its infancy and will be redesigned shortly, but it's not too early to get a good bonus if that's what you're looking for.