Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Someone called me "handsome" today. Well, they didn't really call me handsome, but they  implied it. Maybe I just inferred it. Whatever. I'm taking credit.

Of course they may not have meant it, there's a chance they were just being polite, or having fun at my expense. I'm choosing to not see it that way. I'm choosing to believe that this person genuinely feels that I am a handsome guy. Guys know there is something special that happens in your head and your heart when someone special calls you handsome. There's no feeling in the world like it.

I don't consider myself handsome. I felt uncomfortable when they said it, as though they may be playing a practical joke, or I was some kind of fraud. I do feel like I am looking a lot better these days than I have in the past. I got lasik surgery a few years ago. I've lost nearly 20 pounds since I started working on it last summer. I've found a hair style that I like and my hair has a salt and pepper look that I'm not unhappy about. I'm turning 44 on Sunday, I'm glad to have hair at all. I know some guys in their 20s who would be thrilled with my hair.

Until these things started happening, not only did I not consider myself handsome, I really feel I was ugly. I avoided mirrors, and photographs were out of the questions. For someone who loves taking pictures, especially of people, I appear in very few. I always saw a double chin, crooked squinty eyes hiding behind ugly glasses, and raggedy curly hair that never ever looked stylish. I looked like the nerd I was. Revolting. So even the possibility that someone might think I'm handsome is a gigantic upgrade.

I don't even know what it means to be handsome. But there's a chance I am looking better these days. When I went for my job interview with this company I dressed up very smartly with a bright blue pressed shirt and very snazzy tie, navy blue slacks and comfortable but decently dressy shoes. I caught myself in a full length mirror and thought "not bad." I almost thought I was handsome, and that confidence really worked well for me in the job interview. I was definitely dressing up my hand. But the bluff worked.

Still, I'm not handsome. I need to lose another 20 pounds at least, and my eyes, while a decent shade of blue, still make me cringe if I see them at the wrong angle. My adorable double chin is still there, helped by a scar I earned when I was four. I still look pudgy and boyish, which at my age and weight, is not awful. But I can do better.

Sorry no pics so you can't judge for yourselves. Looks are superficial anyway. That's what all ugly people like me say.


lightning36 said...

Heard after the fact that you were at the December blogger gathering. I would have looked for an ugly guy but there way too many there. lol

Josie said...

Hi Handsome!

Gary said...

Brother Duggle - it's my experience that, even though you may not think yourself a prime specimen, that when someone special to you calls you handsome, you can count on two things: One, that you are as special to that person as s/he is to you; and two, that when they say you are handsome, they mean it.

Enjoy it - that's my advice. Hey, someone used to think I was the most handsome specimen on the planet. I didn't care that she was blind. Wokka wokka wokka!

SirFWALGMan said...

I thought us ugly people said "my face has character".. heh. That could be a whole blog post...

leathej1 said...

How did the Lasik go?

Oh, and hit me up on FB if you are still on. I had a brief lapse of sanity when I deleted my account, but I'm better now.