Happy Birthday

If today's your birthday....(you know who you are.)

Have a great birthday.

My Twitter Greatest Hits

Is the song "Stairway to Heaven" offensive to handicapped people?

Hard work never killed anybody, but I'm still not willing to take the risk.

How can Glenn Beck be cancelled? His audience must be the truly stupid, which seems like a very desirable demographic, doesn't it?

Charlie Sheen should be happy. Glenn Beck leaving Fox makes Charlie the second craziest person to lose his television show this year.

I watched the first 3.75 hours of "The Ten Commandments" last night but fell asleep for the last hour. Now I'll never know how it ended.

Sony's slogan for the PS3 is "Do Everything" Apparently "everything" includes "gives away your personal info and maybe credit card numbers."

How does anything STOP trending on twitter? Whenever anything is trending, I click it and all I see is posts that say "why is x trending?"

"Orly Taitz" sounds like something Miami Don does to women he picks up in casinos. "I got behind her and gave her the ol' Orly Taitz."

Wow, all the birthers still hate Obama for some reason. On an unrelated note, Obama is still black.

I wonder what percentage of Americans know that the reason foreign people call us "Yanks" is because it's a wonderful double entendre?

Solving a complicated problem is sooooo satisfying. Until you are completely stymied by the next simple one.

Caffeine is an appetite suppressant. You know what else is an appetite suppressant? FOOD.

Newt had a half million debt at Tiffany & Co.? Dude must have fucked up BAD. Or a lot. Or both.

I'm beginning to think that the best way to prepare for the rapture wasn't maxing out my credit and spending the money on hookers and drugs.

I hate wrestling. I'm just completely bitter. It's fake violence for children. Yet somehow online poker is so horribly wrong it's illegal.

Coworker to fat guy: Did you steal my cake? Fat Guy: Why are you asking me? Coworker: If I was looking for a comb I wouldn't ask a bald guy.

My solution to the content theft problem on the internet is to make my content so bad people won't steal it. Problem solved!

"The Sound of Music" is the most romantic 'guy who fucked the nanny' story of all time.

Fox News has a zero-tolerance policy for on-screen errors? They need a zero-tolerance policy for on-screen fuckwits.

Diana Ross sewed the first American flag with the firing pin taken from her .45 caliber Smith and Wesson automatic. #PalinHistory

TN just passed a law making it illegal to post offensive things on the internet. Penalty is $2500 and 1 yr in prison. I'm deleting my blog.

Everyone who wears more protective gear than me when riding a motorcycle is paranoid. Everyone who wears less than me is a complete maniac.

If you want a joke, here's a one-liner. "I'd rather be waterboarded than read Dick Cheney's new book."

Maybe this is funnier: "Read Dick Cheney's new book? I'd rather be shot in the face."

Futurama Did It

How I Know I'm Afraid of Heights

Just looking at this picture makes me queasy...

My Biker Gang

A group of coworkers and I went on a ride from Nashville to Louisville a few weekends ago. I really enjoyed the trip up there but the rest got in a hurry on the way back. Turns out we were on a deadline that I wasn't aware of.

Had I known I would have broken from the group and headed home myself. I'm sure I could have talked the guy on the red Ninja to come with me at our own pace.

Other than the unexpected urgency I really liked the extended trip. I rode for about six hours on Saturday. One hour getting to Nashville and then joining with them for a 5-hours of riding through Kentucky. The trip home took less than 5 hours of riding, but there was a two-hour stop at a Mexican restaurant where the food was terrible.

I'm not sure I'd choose the same company for another trip, but I'd definitely be up for something longer distance. I've put 12,000 miles on my Honda since I bought it 14 months ago, and it was in the shop for almost a month this spring. If I lived in a slightly nicer climate, I'd consider being one of those "bike-only" guys.

Common Knowledge

There is no evidence that Vikings wore horns on their helmets.
Marie Antoinette, who was the Queen of France and husband to Louis XVI during the French Revolution, never actually used the phrase “let them eat cake” when she heard that the French peasantry was starving.
George Washington did not have wooden teeth. They were actually made of gold, hippopotamus ivory, lead, and animal teeth, including horse and donkey teeth.
The signing of the United States Declaration of Independence occurred on August 2, 1776, not July 4.
Napoleon Bonaparte was not particularly short in comparison to other French men and did not have a Napoleon complex.
A common misconception is that you must wait at least 24 hours before filing a missing person’s report, this is not true.
Entrapment laws in the United States do not require police officers to identify themselves.
Sushi doesn’t mean “raw fish” and not all sushi includes raw fish.
If a person swallows chewing gum, it doesn’t take seven years to digest. Chewing gum is mostly indigestible, but it still passes through the digestive system and out of your body.
A person who has used LSD more than seven times is not insane.
One hit of marijuana doesn’t have the carcinogen effects of an entire cigarette. The largest study of its kind by the University of California found that people who smoke marijuana are no more likely to develop lung cancer than non-smokers. In fact, some studies have shown that marijuana may actually reduce the risk of some cancers by as much as 61%.
It is commonly claimed that the Great Wall of China is the only human-made object visible from the Moon. This is false. City lights were the only feature reported to be visible.
Seasons are not caused by the Earth being closer to the Sun in the summer. They are the result of the Earth being tilted on its axis.
Meteorites are not hot, but cold when they hit the earth.
The claim that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo is false.
Houseflies do not have an average lifespan of 24 hours. The average lifespan of a housefly is 20 to 30 days.
Bulls are not enraged by the color red, which is used in capes by professional matadors. The movement of the fabric is what irritates the bull and causes them to charge.
Shaving doesn’t cause hair to grow back thicker or darker. Hair which has never been cut has a tapered end and after cutting the hair the taper is lost making the new hair sharp.
Alcohol doesn’t make a person’s body temperature warmer.
Eating less than an hour before swimming doesn’t increase the risk of experiencing muscle cramps or drowning. Drowning is often thought to be a violent struggle, where the victim waves and calls for help. In truth, drowning is often inconspicuous to onlookers. The instinctive drowning response doesn’t show prior evidence of distress.

Desire

In general I only desire things for what they can actually do for me. It's unusual that I want something purely for aesthetic reasons. Please bear in mind I am talking about THINGS. Not another subject, which is another subject.

The exceptions to this rule are motorcycles and cameras. I love retro cameras and I want to own them all. I love them for how they look AND what they can do. I don't want an old Leica Rangefinder. I used to have a Postwar 3C and while it was cool I didn't find it particularly useful and sold it at a camera show. This is exactly what it looked like:

What I love is the new Leica M9 or the Fuji X100. They look like old 35mm Rangefinder cameras, but they are actually very modern sophisticated digital cameras.

This Fuji looks cool right? It's actually a pretty decent 10MP digital camera. No way on earth it's worth $1200 but that's what lusting after something is all about right? They have to be somewhat out of reach. The Leica M9 is even more so, retailing for around $9000. Very awesome, very not what I want to spend for a digital camera.











I do have the same preoccupation with motorcycles. I love new bikes with old styling. I appreciate the looks of the actual old bikes, but just like with digital cameras the technology just makes so much better.

This 2011 Honda Shadow is a beautiful bike to me. It looks like it could have been made in 1976 with the bicentennial colors and the spoke wheels. But it will run like a 2011 fuel injected Honda.

I also really like Royal Enfield. These are 2011 motorcycles made in India.  Modern bikes with modern technology, but with a look borrowed from the past. It's like someone opened a box of WWII surplus that traveled through time and had a modern engine installed in it.















Car manufacturers have been trying this trick lately too, with the Camaros and Mustangs, Minis and Fiat 500s. Some people would say they do it because they've run out of new ideas. I don't know if I'd agree with that. I just think they're recognizing that some ideas that have happened before were really good ideas.

Reruns

I was reading through my own blog looking for something when I stumbled upon this post from 2004(!):

...I was playing at an Intertops Freeroll around 10:00 and I thought about the blogger table. I knew SirFWALman always played at these things and always with his actual name, so I searched for him. Sure enough, he was at a table full of bloggers. When otis took off it opened up a spot for me.

How was the table? BRUTAL with a capital BRUTAL. 98% of hands were raised pre-flop. Even more flops were bet. A huge number of bluffs, and an even larger number of suck-outs. AA was garbage (except when I raise into it with my 72.)...

...I do not reccomend the blogger table, unless you just want to show off and have fun. The blogger tourneys are a better idea. I'm not sure why they don't play a weekly league or something, if all of them show up so regularly every night. There was Iggy, Pauly, Otis, Poker Prof, Maudie, the aforementioned SirF, and a bunch of others I can't remember. All funny guys, but playing at these small stakes makes them pretty crazy.

Wow what a blast from the past. That's some serious old-school shit right there, we weren't even calling Waffles Waffles yet. Good thing we started because I misspelled his name there. I'm amazed that I can read entire posts and have no idea what or whom I was writing about. It's like it was written by a stranger, but definitely in my voice. Very unsettling.

Long Night, Work Early

Scooterific

I've been trying to move the content direction of this site from Online Poker more towards my other interests, which are Video Games and Scooters.

So here's some scooter content, courtesy an ad from Zappos.

Coq au Vin

When on vacation, I like to cook. I like to try at least one new thing. This time it was Coq Au Vin, which is French for "Rooster with Wine." I definitely strayed from the recipe and made it my own. It was very easy and it turned out very well. The folks I was serving raved about it. I thought it was very good, but not incredible. I may try it again with a different wine.

Surf's Up

Oh yeah...

I must have been very busy vacationing because I didn't notice that the seventh anniversary of this blog went by. Woosh!

Not a very happy anniversary with online poker being all but dead in the US. This blog hasn't been about poker in a long time anyway, it's just an artifact of what originally brought a lot of us together. I might could have kept poker alive for myself if there was any place to play it near where I live, but Tennessee, while being fantastic for other reasons, really sucks on the poker front.

Don't expect this blog to go away though. I've always considered it my online journal, not just for poker nonsense. I'm trying to make an effort to take more pictures and post them, and hopefully I will come up with a new hobby that's blog friendly. I never thought World of Warcraft was a blog compatible hobby. While very entertaining, it just wasn't an original kind of experience I felt the need to blog about very often.

What's Going On

I still read blogs, but I have no idea what's going on. People used to talk about what was happening with them, but now I'm just getting cryptic messages that bring up more questions than they answer.

Apparently someone is going to prison? And someone that used to be linked to him is getting a new apartment but hasn't said anything about getting a job to pay for it? Weirdness. Nobody has ever offered to pay me to not live with them anymore.

Things with me are pretty much the same. I'm on vacation for a week in Florida and it has been very relaxing. It started out rough. For the first few days all I could think about was things going on at work and what I was going to have to do when I got back. But eventually all that melted away and I can enjoy the sunshine and water. I'm very lucky to have a completely stress free place to come and get away from all that hassle.

I did get one work call from someone who was on a work site and didn't know I was on vacation. I guess if you give someone your cell phone number you run that risk. I was happy to help him though because he's helped me out multiple times.

I have to go back on the fifth, which means driving on Independence Day. At least it was an extra vacation day without using more precious "Paid Time Off" days.

My company did a thing where they consolidated sick days with vacation days and call it "PTO." I don't know if people were abusing the unlimited sick day policy or what. I never took a sick day so it didn't really affect me. Especially since I work on projects, so if you take a day off that's just another day of work you have to make up later. It's not like the deadline changes because you take a sick day. We are allowed to work from home occasionally so if I actually did get sick I'd probably just do that. I should work from home more often just in general to save a few bucks on gas occasionally.

And here I am talking about work again, when I should only be concerned with enjoying my vacation. I'll probably go out on the boat or go swimming in a little bit. I need to return some movies to redbox and come up with something to create for dinner. Earlier I made my Lasagne Bolognese that was a huge hit, I don't want a let down after that performance.

Poker Is Happening In India & Fundoo Poker Is There

Guest post by Dawn

At the end of April, 2011, Card Player India released the names of its 49 top poker players from India for the year 2010, and FundooPoker was there with the story, posting the entire list of names from Card Player India Player of the Year Award winner Abhishek Goindi on down.

Fundoo Poker provides an updated list of all the upcoming poker tournaments taking place in India, such as last month's India Poker Series - Chapter 6, India Poker Open and Aces Unlimited tournaments, all of which, by the way, took place in Goa. When their times come round, the India Poker Championship, IPRT, Raining Aces and The Shark events will all be featured on Fundoo Poker.

Goa is the seat of live poker in India and on Fundoo Poker you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about this poker capital, including how it got that way, how to get there, where to play poker there and what else to do while you're there. Fundoo Poker is was also covering the Grand Opening Event of the India Poker Pros at the Casino Royale in Goa, last June 23 - 26, 2011. We offered a link to a special satellite tournament series into the India Poker Pros Grand Opening Event at 888 Poker, one of the poker rooms endorsed by Fundoo Poker for Indian players.

India Poker series is also one of the tournaments that Indian players are excited about, Chapter six of this series has just ended and next one will start on July 2011. Rest assured that Fundoo Poker being one of the few poker portal in india that gives you everything when it comes to poker, will keep you bits of news and updates on what’ s happening, where it is happening and hot it happened.

Whether the news is local to India, such as Mubina Rattonsey becoming the first woman to win the India Poker Championship earlier this month or the announcement that the next Aces Unlimited tournament in Goa was just scheduled for August 25 - 28, 2011, or it's general world poker news, such as the results of the currently-running World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, Nevada, and the best poker rooms in India that offers freerolls and the poker promotions, Fundoo Poker is there with the story and with the information needed.

Toby Maguire Sued Over Poker Winnings

I think he cheated. His Spider-sense told him I had a full house.

Toby Maguire sued over poker winnings.

Maguire is being sued for $311,000 plus interest that the lawsuit says was won by the actor in the poker matches.

No relation to Dr. Pauly, I assume. I think they spell it differently. Or at least capitalize differently.

Oldies and Shoes

I prefer the old songs. They were just more from the heart. Like the old Elvis/Carl Perkins song "Blue Suede Shoes."

Now that song had really deep meaning. It tells the story...well, the feelings of a fellow that really loves his shoes. He loves the HELL out of his shoes. He even says "You can burn my house, steal my car, even drink my liquor from an old fruit jar," rather than mess up his shoes. Are those three things really equivalent? Felony arson, grand theft auto, and drinking cocktails from non-approved drinking vessels? You may also knock him to the ground and step on his face. Assault? Check. Slander is also preferable to harming his favorite footwear.



I happen to be wearing Vans today. I like them an awful lot. They are also made out of leather, and that particular variety of cow skin happens to be suede which is dyed blue. I am quite fond of them. You cannot, however, do any of those aforementioned things to me instead of stepping on my Vans. If the choice is between arson, assault, theft, slander and stepping on my shoes, scuff these suckers up. Stomp away.

I have had shoes I really loved before. I once got a pair so comfortable I almost immediately started looking online for a location to buy another pair when those wore out. They were THAT comfy. I couldn't find them, so those shoes became "special." Not worn on days when rain is predicted. Not for motorcycle riding. Those shoes remind me of a story someone told me about a time he went to the dentist and got prescribed some pills. After he took one he immediately counted them. Yeah, he wanted to know how many times he was gonna get THAT feeling. He was gonna savor those pills. He NEEDED to know EXACTLY how many he had, and he needed to know right away. I sorta felt that way about the shoes. As you get older how shoes feel begins being more and more important than how they look.

Yet even those shoes can take a stomping before you burn down my home. Or make off with my Mini. Carl Perkins wrote the song in 1955. That dude must have known a seriously good cobbler.

Scenic

I had a nice scenic ride home today. It was a bit warm but you didn't notice if you kept moving. I stopped long enough to grab a couple of pics.



This is pretty typical of my view on the way home. I could take interstates all the way, but I think I'd crash from the boredom.

I took this one because it reminds me of a joke:


"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a cunt."

Wrong Move

I decided to try a totally different way home yesterday. A little out of the way, but I was on the scoot so more riding is sometimes better. When I hit this I realized this may not be the best route.



That's not even construction traffic or anything. It's about three miles of everyday rush hour backup at one intersection.

Back

The Scooter is back, and it's better than ever.

New belt, new tires, new pulleys and new CVT cover mean it's like having a whole new transmission. The old one had some flaps and vibration in it, but now it's very smooth and much more comfortable. The ride home from the shop last night was very pleasant and the ride into work this morning was even better.