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When I think back
On all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder
I can think at all
And though my lack of education
Hasn't hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall

Kodachrome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day, Oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away

If you took all the girls I knew
When I was single
And brought them all together for one night
I know they'd never match
my sweet imagination
everything looks worse in black and white

Kodachrome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day, Oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away

RIP 1936-2009

Textbook

In case you were wondering what a textbook example of what a hypocrite might be, here's one:

"I don't understand why Letterman would say that about a young woman. They deserve some kind of protection from being the butt of late-night hosts."---John McCain 2009

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."---John McCain 1998

Nice work.

Paraphrased

All successful bloggers are ceaseless complainers and prone to start arguments. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.

Fuck Google. Use Bing.

Fight the power. Stick it to the man.

Use Bing for your web searches instead of Google. It's zippy fast and the results are pretty good, at least as good as a Google search.

Sure it's a Microsoft product and they're the man too.

But they don't discriminate against blogs like Google does.

Bing away.

Life is Good

When I was driving into work this morning, I followed an SUV with the spare tire on the outside. The tire cover said "Life is Good." I like the Life is Good products. I have a few of the shirts and one of my dogs loves the Frisbee they make. She carries it around the house with her wherever she goes, just in case someone somewhere wants to throw it to her.

Life is good. I'm healthy, happy and I make enough money to keep myself that way.

GM will declare bankruptcy on Monday. When Chrysler declared they locked the doors and didn't let any employees through the doors for a week. GM's bankruptcy won't be a "quicky" so predictions are we will be able to come to work on Monday. There is a contingency plan, everyone is supposed to meet at the Cracker Barrel.

So now the government gets do decide if the plant stays open or gets liquidated. Supposedly the closings will be based on profitability, but we have just barely begun producing this SUV, how does one know if it is profitable? I think it's like being in love. If you don't know, you aren't.

"May you live in interesting times." --Chinese curse.

Craps Refresher Refresher

Almost exactly 4 years ago, I wrote a how to play craps post.

It doesn't seem so long ago, but it's not a bad little instructional on how to play craps, and why to not play craps.

I'm Not a "Completer"

From an administration perspective, one of the most difficult things about running World of Warcraft is managing the economy.

In WoW the economy is a very delicate balance. The currency of the game is earned very slowly but by millions of players at a time. In order to balance the economy the game has built in money sinks. The most famous of these is the cost of flight. (There was a widely reported indecent of a woman trading sex for the cost of her flying mount.) But there have always been various money sinks in the game to try to keep inflation under control.

But the latest expansion introduced the most brilliant money sink. Historically money sinks have been a reward system. You sink x amount of money, you get y as a reward. Five thousand gold gets you flight training. But what the developers needed was a way to take money out of the game without any rewards given. And they came up with the "Achievement" system.

With achievements, the game tracks the tasks you have to complete, and when you complete the task it gives you "achievement points." And that's it. The achievement points aren't worth anything. You can't spend them on items or rewards of any kind. It's just a tracking system. You basically get a "check mark" saying you have completed that task.

And the players have gone crazy for the achievements. They are spending hours upon days upon weeks completing these tasks for literally zero rewards. They spend all their resources until they aren't even able to participate in actual gameplay because they've exhausted themselves chasing achievements.

It appeals to the obsessive compulsive nature of all people. People are very naturally "box-checkers" and love to complete things. They have to complete their collection of everything. Without it they feel incomplete. They feel a nearly physical need to finish things. It's amazing to watch.

I'm just not a box-checker. I don't feel the need to finish something "just to finish" it. If there is a reward for completing a task I feel a sense of accomplishment, but if I complete something just to have done it I usually feel disappointed.

When doing achievements in WoW I begin to feel used and manipulated. I rarely try to complete them intentionally, and when I do I feel almost ashamed.

I still enjoy the game, and I have actually built a respectable player up. I'm the 32nd ranked resto druid on the realm I play, which is really not bad. I can keep up with the best players in the game, so I really feel like I can contribute to a group when I play. I take a great deal of pleasure in being an instrumental part of a raid, helping the group achieve a particularly difficult goal (as long as that goal includes a reward that improves the group.)

I guess I'm not very OCD, and if you have a problem with OCD I wouldn't recommend World of Warcraft. But if you just really get off on checking boxes, it may be the game for you.

Tennessee...Sigh

Just when you tell people that living in Tennessee isn't that strange and that it's not really the "deep south" and there aren't THAT many rednecks, the top story in the biggest newspaper in the state has this headline:

Cockfight Raid Results in Arrests of Hundreds

That's right, hundreds. This isn't a dozen rednecks getting together and doing something stupid. This was an organized event where people gathered to sell drugs and abuse animals. Whee.

More Hope

Hopeful story from the NY Times that the UIGEA may be repealed, unless the christian right has anything to say about it...

The biggest potential change would be in the United States, where, perhaps within days, Representative Barney Frank, Democrat of Massachusetts, is expected to introduce legislation aimed at overturning the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act.

As always, useless christian conservatives have to get in the way:

Michele Combs, a spokeswoman for the Christian Coalition, said the group was gearing up for a “massive campaign” of letter-writing and lobbying to try to prevent any loosening of the law.

“We’re not saying people shouldn’t go to Las Vegas,” she said. “But when it’s in your home, it’s too easy. It breaks up families.”

Yeah, stupid people in stupid families. Why do you have to restrict my rights because stupid people will do stupid things? Don't you realize that they are just going to find some other stupid way to fuck up their families? Get a fucking life, stop trying to run mine.

Field Sobriety

Last Thursday I took the day off work and drove to Talladega to visit my folks. They were in town for the race and might not have a chance to stop at my place so this could be my only chance to see them this year.

I drove down in the morning. Getting up was tough because I've been working the night shift and sleeping late every day. The weather was pleasant though and it's less than 2.5 hours to make the drive.

You know you're driving through Alabama when you stop for gas and there's a couple there walking their pig. I took a photo but I don't have the card reader with me. If I remember I will add it to this post later.

My folks park their RV in the best possible spot at the track in Talladega. You can't see the track because it's banked, but they're a 3 minute walk to their seats. They walk back after the race and sit outside their RV and watch people sit in traffic for 3 hours while 140,000 people try to get out of the parking lot at the same time. They leave the next day in 5 minutes. Pretty slick.

I spent about 5 or 6 hours visiting with the folks then drove back through Alabama and when I crossed into Tennessee I took a back road to my little town. I got pulled over by a small town police officer who said he smelled "the strong odor of alcohol" from my car and asked me to perform a field sobriety test.

It's pretty humiliating standing in front of his squad car with the lights flashing while performing for him. He wanted me to stare at his finger without moving my head as he moved it around. Then he wanted me to touch my fingers to my thumb quickly while counting "one two three four" and "four three two one" as I touched each finger.

I passed his test, which is good because I think the last time I had a drink was the super bowl. I'm paranoid about getting caught drinking and driving because it seems like the goal of the government is to ruin your life if you get caught driving after you've had a drink. I enjoy a drink now and then but if I'm going to drive in the next 12 hours I skip it. I'm almost always going to drive within 12 hours so I almost never drink.

I suspect the "strong alcohol smell" is the cop's bullshit excuse to check every driver he stops. There's no alcohol smell in my car, I asked two people to smell for it after I got stopped. I don't think I've ever had alcohol in that car.

Hopefully it's just an "isolated incident" but I guess it wouldn't be a shock that there are cops around that violate the civil rights of every person they pull over at night. But it's still kind of disappointing.

I'm Done With You

When people used to ask me "what's your favorite movie," I automatically answered "Reservoir Dogs, and Pulp Fiction is my top five." I still love the films, but I'm done with Quentin Tarantino.

Let's face it: The guy is over. He hasn't done anything great in fifteen years. The last decent thing he did was "Kill Bill" and even that was pretty ordinary unless you're nutty for karate movies and you love to see Daryl Hannah over-act.

The most relevant thing he's done lately is appear on "American Idol." I know he's supposed to be all into "pop culture" and everything, but honestly... crap is crap. "American Idol" is the lowest of the low. The guy is trying to stir up popularity by being on a talent show

The guy was a big splash. A huge splash. His style influenced nearly every movie that came out after 1994. But then it was over, now he's completely hack. "Death Proof" was garbage, and that's all he could come up with in five years. And I'm so crazy about Rosario Dawson I would change my religion if she gave me a wet willy.

He revived John Travolta's career. Thanks. I'd rather kill myself than watch "Wild Hogs" again. He made a star out of Samuel L. Jackson, who screamed his way to the largest career box office grosses of all time. What the fuck was he doing in a Star Wars movie?

Peace out homie. You're dead to me. You're going to have to do something pretty special to win me (and I suspect a lot of your former fans) back.

I hate driving home this late

Bored at werq

I made this.

Should I?

Here's the quandary:

Should I stay in Tennessee and keep working in a menial but lucrative job at a GM plant that will almost definitely close in the next 4-5 years leaving me stuck scrambling for a job AGAIN but this time with no relocation or opportunities...

OR

Should I sell everything I own, house and cars included, and take a low paying job in Costa Rica that I know I am perfect for and I am far more likely to enjoy than the hellhole of pay-cuts and unhappy coworkers I currently endure?

It's a bit like jumping off a cliff, sincerely believing that I can fly. There's uncertainty in every direction. I'm incredibly lucky to actually have options in today's world. What seemed like a stable and happy situation in Tennessee has turned into another quagmire of questionable oncoming situations. Or am I imagining a future more grim than will actually occur?

If things were just barely, slightly, the tiniest bit worse here, the decision would be easy. The opportunity is real, and it looks like an amazing life. But it's an adventure, and it will require a great deal of sacrifice and hard work. I'm in my 40s now. Am I getting too old to be this adventurous? I don't feel like I am, but am I blind to my own age and limitations?

At any rate, my world and imagination are alive with possibilities and opportunities, and I'm loving it, even if the answers terrify me.

Death Party

A coworker of mine had to leave early yesterday to attend a funeral. It was the wife of a friend of his who died from cancer at the age of forty. Having just celebrated crossed my forty-first birthday, I took note.

My coworker returned to work today and said that the funeral had been totally arranged by the woman who died. Previous to her death (last Friday) she had arranged for all the songs to be played, and even wrote a statement to be read to the people attending the funeral. Her final wishes were for the people at the funeral to remember her and to help her husband take care of her children. It sounded very sad. I don't know the woman at all, but the whole thing sounds depressing, preparing for your death because you pretty much know the exact date of its occurrence.

A couple of years ago my parents brought me a slideshow that was shown at the funeral of my aunt. When I was 18 I left home for college and she was my nearest relative. She was a very assertive and opinionated lady, in a hilarious way. I wasn't fond of her children, but I loved her like crazy. She suffered from "Pick's disease" also known as Frontotemporal Dementia. Basically your brain degenerates, especially affecting your social behavior. It is easily the most horrible way to go. First you lose your mind, then your ability to care for yourself, then you die.

The slideshow was horrible. It began with pictures from her childhood and progressed through her life. But the pictures from the end of her life showed a completely different person. Definitely not the woman I knew when I was growing up. It might have been wise to cut those pictures from the presentation, but then there would have been none of her with her great-grandchildren.

My aunt obviously had no input into the composition of the slide show. If she could have decided 30 years ago I guarantee you she would not have wanted people to see her in those final few years when she had no idea what was happening. But at least she didn't have to suffer through the depressing and frightening experience of preparing her own funeral.

I'm not sure what the best way to go is right now. All I can come up with at this moment is "hit by a bus." Surely there's something better?

I've Got Wood.

My house has beautiful hardwood floors, except the bedrooms. I've never understood this. I hate carpet. Carpet only does two things well, collect dirt and keep stains. I don't like carpet on my floors and I don't like carpet on the ladies (if ya know what I mean.)

So, after practicing on several of my friends' homes, I took the plunge and removed the carpet from the master bedroom and installed hardwood flooring. I also took the opportunity to replace a couple of pieces of inherited furniture with some brand-new never previously owned pieces, a couple of chest-of-drawers.



I haven't done two of the doorways yet, including the one into the closet in the picture because I need to get a carpet reducer and the Lowes/Home Depot is a half hour drive from the tiny town I live in.

It was a long hard weekend, first tearing out the old nasty stuff and repairing the damage and then putting in the new floor and moving in the new furniture. But it was so worth it, the room looks beautiful now.

Now when GM goes out of business I'll have a skill to fall back on.

US lawmaker to push to repeal online gambling ban

By Doug Palmer

WASHINGTON, Feb 20 (Reuters) - A senior Democratic lawmaker will push legislation this year to repeal a U.S. ban on Internet gambling that has hurt trade ties with the European Union, a congressional aide said.

"The bill introduction should happen in the next month," a spokesman for House of Representatives Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank said.

Full Story

New Homelad Security Alert Code

According to Utah State Senator Chris Buttars, homosexuals lack morals, engage in abominable behavior, and are as dangerous as radical Islam.

In response, the defense department has come up with another addition to the Homeland Security Advisory System. Whenever the nation's intelligence systems pick up chatter about impending homosexual activities, there will be a "Pink Alert."

So far, the only information released on what to do in case of a Pink Alert is "Watch your bunghole."

Hopefully more information will be forthcoming.

Why Do Republicans Hate America?

GOP poised to leap on spending abuses in stimulus

House Republicans are setting up "a stimulus-watch program" that will allow watchdog groups and private citizens to report findings as contractors and agencies start spending billions of dollars on roads, schools, renewable energy projects and other initiatives, said House GOP Whip Eric Cantor of Virginia.

Where were these "watchdogs" when stuff like THIS was going on?

Nearly $9 billion of money spent on Iraqi reconstruction is unaccounted for because of inefficiencies and bad management

Or THIS:

report said as much as $12.7 billion in cash from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, sent to Iraq during Bremer's watch between May 2003 and June 2004, was unaccounted for.

Or THIS:

In what could turn out to be the greatest fraud in US history, American authorities have started to investigate the alleged role of senior military officers in the misuse of $125bn (£88bn) in a US -directed effort to reconstruct Iraq after the fall of Saddam Hussein. The exact sum missing may never be clear, but a report by the US Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction (SIGIR) suggests it may exceed $50bn, making it an even bigger theft than Bernard Madoff's notorious Ponzi scheme.

Why are Republicans so happy to write a blank check for rebuilding Iraq, but hate it when the government wants to spend money on America? Do they hate America?

Use Your Words Like a Big Boy

Socialism: (sō'shə-lĭz'əm) n. Any of various theories or systems of social organization in which the means of producing and distributing goods is owned collectively or by a centralized government that often plans and controls the economy.

In other words, The government, or some other collective organization, owns the means of production. The gov't owns the factories, stores and everything else producing economic results.

Socialism does not mean government handouts, bailouts or welfare.

IF ANYBODY TELLS YOU OUR GOVERNMENT IS SOCIALIST, THEY ARE TRYING TO SCARE YOU INTO BELIEVING THEIR BULLSHIT.

People are throwing the word "socialism" around a lot lately, and it is EXCLUSIVELY being used as a scare tactic. You can be relatively sure that anyone that uses that word in any form of political discussion lately is completely full of shit.