I like My Alarm Clock

I really like my alarm clock. I think it has every feature that I want in an alarm clock.

It doesn't beep very loud, but it always wakes me up. It isn't shocking, just annoying enough to do the job.

It has two alarms, so I don't have to reset the alarm all the time when my needs change between waking up early or normal time. The alarm has a programmable snooze. You can set it for 4 minutes for 10 minutes, or whatever you want.

It runs off of batteries instead of being plugged in, so it doesn't lose its mind when the power goes out. It sets itself based on atomic time, so when you have to change the batteries you don't have to reset it, except for the time zone.

It even tells you the temperature in the room, which was FUCKING FREEZING this morning because Mrs. Bogey left the windows open last night and it went down below 40 degrees.

The only feature I could imagine wanting is a TAZER so I could ZAP the next person who makes me get up when it's FUCKING FREEZING in the house.