Three to Five Seconds!

When I was driving in to work today I heard a radio commercial for something called "Maxoderm" that promises "male enhancement" in 3-5 seconds. THREE TO FIVE SECONDS! That's one of those things that sounds like TOTAL BULLSHIT the moment you hear it. Well, maybe it takes THREE TO FIVE SECONDS to sound like total bullshit. Why THREE to five seconds? If they said "Works in FIVE SECONDS" would people who got a boner in three seconds be pissed off? And if they said "Works in THREE SECONDS," would people who had to wait two extra seconds complain? After three seconds and no boner, I guess they would say "I give up, I'm not gonna fuck now," and not notice two seconds later when their erection showed up.

Is it a coincidence that every other ad you see and hear these days is for boner medication, and Baby Boomers are all getting into their late 40s and 50s? I think not. Just like how "relaxed-fit" pants showed up when all the boomers' fat asses got to their middle thirties.

***********

Someone asked me why I don't blog about World of Warcraft. Because nobody wants to read that shit. Yes, the game is fun and an interesting diversion. But there's nothing at all compelling about it.

The only thing worse than blogging about World of Warcraft would be blogging about a television show. At least you can't know about my WoW experience unless I tell you about it. If I gave a shit about a fucking television show, I'd fucking watch it, not read a stupid blog about it.

Poker Comic #135 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Good to Know

My blog is worth $29,920.62.
How much is your blog worth?

When you write the check, don't forget to include the sixty-two cents.

Rep. Barney Frank, Our Great Hope

From The Agitator:

It if it passes, it would be a small victory, but a notable one. When was the last time Congress gave a little freedom back?

“I think a lot of members of Congress voted for that (ban) without having given it a lot of attention,” Frank said Wednesday. “And I think that there is growing opposition to it,” he said. “I think that this may be a case where, after the fact of having voted for it, people don't like it and they reconsider.”

Frank, the new chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, said he plans to introduce a bill “probably next week, maybe the week after” against the Internet gambling ban.

To be effective, the bill would probably not only need to repeal the UIGA, but also be explicit about what it's allowing. It would need to make clear, for example, that Internet gambling does not fall under the auspices of the old 1961 Federal Wire Act. Ready for the punch line?

“In a number of areas, I am a libertarian,” Frank said. “I think that John Stuart Mill's ‘On Liberty' is a great statement, and I was just rereading it.

“I believe that people should be allowed to read and gamble and ride motorcycles and do a lot of things that other people might not want to let them do."

Misc.

I played some NL25 at PokerStars last night, because I had around an hour to kill and I didn't think an SNG would work for my time frame. Now I know what it feels like to be a luckbox. I misplayed QQ horribly and got all in vs. AA after the flop, but rivered a Q to double up. AA on the next hand felted a short stack. About a dozen hands later I saw AA again, and got two callers to my $3 pre-flop re-pop. Hit a set on the flop and rivered Aces full of Kings but couldn't get any action. I felt better on the next hand when I saw AA again and busted a guy with JJ on an all unders flop. I didn't lose a significant hand the entire hour, winning triple my $25 buy-in.

That sucks about Pauly getting axed at ESPN before he had a chance to write a word. It makes sense though. ESPN fancies themselves the main outlet for tournament poker on television, so they do as much to PROMOTE poker as they do to televise it. They want poker on tv to be "the same game you play at the dinner table with grandma," not the dirty Las Vegas picture that Pauly paints with his brutally honest stories about the poker world. ESPN isn't interested in the truth. They want something they can sell. You know, for kids.

Take a minute to check out a new poker blog called The PokerLetter Life. I dig their 10 Hottest Poker Babes feature of this poker site, although I think Shannon Elizabeth for #8 is a dubious pick. They also include a blog with some poker tips. Check 'em out if you have a minute.

Poker Comic #134 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

32 of 90

My brother got his undergraduate degree from Virginia Tech, and I visited the place a few times when he was there, as he graduated from high school two years before I did. I was raised in the Commonwealth of Virginia, but Blacksburg was still quite a haul down Interstate 81. The place is REALLY BIG. 100 buildings on 2,600 acres.

This will permanently harm Virginia Tech's reputation. When something random like this happens, people remember it forever. Everyone remembers Austin Texas. Hell, everyone remembers Kent State.

It's a sad thing. Definitely sad. But I fear the overreaction. The politicking has already started. The gun nuts are saying "If there were more guns it would have prevented the problem." The anti-gun nuts are saying "If there were fewer guns it would have prevented the problem."

Of course they're both wrong, and they're both gross for exploiting the situation for their political agenda.

The US averages 90 shooting deaths per day. Statistically, this is just barely a blip. An above average day. Slightly.

It's tremendously sad and a horrible event, but it's just a consequence of the society that we've built. The attempts at social engineering that will come from this scare me far more than the chance I'll get shot down by some random killer.

PSO Poker League

I found out about the Poker Source Online Spring Poker League late as I simply wasn't paying very close attention. I attempted to deposit at Absolute Poker so I could participate. It's the first time I've attempted to deposit in a poker site in my non-neteller world. Well, I think I deposited before neteller, but this is the first time since I signed up for neteller.

I was underwhelmed. I tried a credit card and it said I needed to call to verify my credit card transaction. I closed the window without writing down the number I had to call, but fear not, they would be sending me an email with the number. Soon. Eventually. Sooner-or-later. Ok. Never.

So I missed the first league game. I'll try another deposit method, one that is sure fire but takes longer than a credit card deposit is supposed to take.

The PSO league is always a fantastic bargain, as the overlay FAR surpasses the total buy-in. If you're a PSO customer or just a shrewd poker player, check it out.

Snoop Dogg Defends Rap Music

Snoop Dogg responds to claims that Don Imus' comment was no worse than what is broadcast on the radio by Rap Music Artists:

It's a completely different scenario. [Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about hos that's in the 'hood that ain't doing shit, that's trying to get a nigga for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them muthafuckas say we in the same league as him.

This is the most insidiously evil argument I have heard.

Snoop is claiming:

1) They only accuse women of being whores if they deserve to be called whores.
2) Rap Music is an art, and the "art" of Radio Personalities shouldn't be given the same latitude as his art because his art is better.
3) White people are not allowed to use the same language as black people.

1) Imus' original point was that the Rutgers team was wearing tattoos and dressing like thugs compared to the Tennessee team, so in his judgment the team "deserved" to be called whores. Who gets to be the almighty judge as to whether someone deserves to be called anything? Al Sharpton?

2) Any claim that one form of "art" is better than another is obviously without merit. One artist does not deserve any more freedom in his art than another, PEROID.

3) I'm repeating myself, but there's no way you can tell me it's fair that one person can say certain words and have no repercussions and another person will have serious consequences based SOLELY on the color of his skin.

Update: Where do I go to sue Snoop for calling me a "muthafucka?" I've suffered severe mental unpleasantness because of this degrading and disgraceful insult.

Terrorism

From comments:

Should Imus have gotten fired? The answer is obviously yes. He works for a business. His comments cost that business millions in advertising revenue. If you cost your company millions of dollars in one day, I bet you'd get fired too.

Fuck racism. This is business.

That's absoultely true, Imus was fired because he "lost money" for the companies the works for. Nevermind the fact that it's advertising revenue he generated in the first place. But losing that advertising is what cost Imus his job.

But that advertising revenue was lost because of the terrorist tactics of people like Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. They threatened to mobilize their "community" against the companies that Imus worked for.

Al and Jesse were very calculating in their assault. They spent the first couple of days ESTABLISHING that the comments were racist and extracting an apology from Imus. Then they went after the companies saying "are you going to keep broadcasting this established racist?" The companies, in the face of Imus' admission of guilt, had no choice but to bow to the pressure of the mob.

The problem is that Sharpton and Jackson are attacking Imus for saying something that black men can say freely on the radio and television. A black man can say "nappy headed" or "ho" to anyone at any time on any station and feel absolutely no repercussions. Neither Denzel Washington or Jay Leno can say "Cocksucker" on radio or television without serious consequences. But any black man can use worse racist language on the radio in hip hop music. Not only are there no repercussions, nobody even notices.

Freedom of Speech is obviously important in this country, as it comes first in the Bill of Rights. When you've gotten yourself into a situation where the freedom of what you can and can't say is determined by the color of your skin, something has gone horribly awry.

Imus Fired

Imus was fired by MSNBC this morning, and I just heard that CBS Radio fired him this afternoon.

How sleazy was it that MSNBC fired him this morning?

You might wonder why his suspension wasn't due to start until next Monday? Because this week every year Imus holds a telethon to raise money for the Ranch in New Mexico that he runs as a charity to help children with cancer and blood borne diseases. MSNBC, after having him on for three days this week after the controversy started, fires him the day that he's supposed to run the telethon. Ick.

At least CBS radio let him have the telethon before they canned him.

I've got news for all the people that are happy that Imus got fired. Everyone that tells a racist joke is not a racist.

When you are passing judgment on whether a person is racist or not, it may help to look at other parts of their lives to see the true content of their character. Maybe look at their actions, not at the words they speak as jokes.

For me, I can look at the amazing charity that Imus runs for sick children. But the people that wanted him fired got their wish, and probably killed that today.

I hope they feel better about themselves. I feel like vomiting.

Freedom of speech SHOULD NOT be determined by the color of your skin. What words you use on the air or off, should not be available to you based on your race.

If you are not allowed to broadcast racist comments on the air, then broadcasters like Rush Limbaugh, Neil Boortz, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck need to be removed IMMEDIATELY for their racist comments about people of middle eastern descent.

Poker Comic #133 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Don Imus Must Be Fired

Don Imus made a racist statement. Therefore Don Imus is a racist. Therefore he cannot be trusted to be on the airwaves, so he must be fired.

That seems to be the sentiment. I have problems with the second and third part of that statement, but in this case, my biggest problem is with number one.

Did Don Imus make a racist statement?

Imus: That's some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and —

McGuirk: Some hard-core hos.

Imus: That's some nappy-headed hos there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some — woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like — kinda like — I don't know.

Where's the racism in that? He is comparing the appearance of one set of black females to the appearance of some other black women. He's not discriminating against a race based on the color of their skin. He's actually giving his opinion on the difference between people of the same race. People who are racist believe that all people of a race are the same, and the reason is because of their race.

The problem is that Imus' statement SOUNDS racist. He uses "racist language" to express something that is NOT racist, and is actually the OPPOSITE of racism. Possibly sexist, definitely classless, but not racist.

Those that are after Don Imus' head for being a racist are simply trying to show that they have the power to get people fired if they get offended by what someone says. He used "hip hop" language, and since he's not a "hip hop" artist he's somehow NOT ENTITLED to use that language. And that's BULLSHIT. All words are up for grabs.

People who are on the lookout for racism in America need to LOOK HARDER before they cry wolf. I'm sure there are FAR BETTER cases of racism out there they can find. As a hint, try looking for statements made out of HATE. Going after lame situations like this just hurts their credibility.

And one final quote, from Dave Chapelle:

The girl says, 'Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!' Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that that is fucking confusing! It just is.

Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, 'Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!' '

And I'd say OHH!! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!' All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform.

Happy Spring Holiday Folks

I hope everyone has a nice holiday. I'm very happy to have Friday and Monday off as work has been quite exhaustive lately. The good news is I don't have to be in at 5:30AM anymore so I might be able to play in a few more blogger tournaments, although it doesn't look like anyone is going to catch Miami Donk in the Battle of the Bloggers. At least I can contribute my part of the rake for the final tourney.

I took Mrs. Bogey to the DMV on Friday to renew her driver's license and they were mysteriously closed. I know it's not much of a mystery as to WHY they were closed, but there was no sign in the door and nothing on their web site that said they were going to be closed for Good Friday. She started to get pissed that a government office was closed for a religious holiday and I cut her off saying it's not fair to call the government on celebrating a religious holiday when that holiday is based on a pagan tradition, and they even held onto the rabbits and eggs as signs of fertility. She ended her tantrum and we took the opportunity of being in the "big city" (Columbia, TN. LOL) to buy some Lamb so I could make some Gyros and Tzatziki Sauce.

The weather has been very NOT spring like (in the 20's last night), but the feast was delicious. I hope everyone else has a nice spring holiday.

Everyone link Iggy

Everyone that reads this, please post a link to Iggy. Just because he's Iggy, and we're all happy that he's ubering at home again.

Also because someone who should link him refuses to. Even though he knows he should. And I think it's funny if Iggy gets a hundred links just because one meat lollipop refuses to give him one. I'm evil like that.

Also everyone go to April's Blog and witness the birth of a new poker term for the dictionary. Implied Waffle Tilt Odds. Pure genius.

Poker Comic #132 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

WWdN Final Table

Hey a final table in a blogger tournament! But one that doesn't count in that big blogger tournament thing Al is running, blah.

More importantly, I knocked out Wil!!!! So I get naming rights for the next tournament. It would be nice if it included a link, but still, it's a first for me and I'm really proud of that achievement.

See you guys there next week!

Poker Jones

I'm still just barely playing enough poker to cover my infrequent poker jones. I'll watch an episode of "Poker After Dark" on DVR and I will want to play a few hands, or I'll read another chapter of "Hunting Fish" and want to get in some table time.

So far the results have been amazingly good. I still have no reliable method for depositing money into the sites, so I am playing pretty small stakes. The last three sessions have been $25NL at PokerStars, and the results have been EXACTLY the same. A player who's not as good as he thinks he is slow plays a big hand and I accidentally crack him for his whole stack.

The first one was a while back so I don't remember all the details, except that I limped in MP with T8s. I flopped top pair and a very short player raised me. There were two of a suit on the board so I put him all in, thinking he was on a flush draw. I spiked a second ten on the turn and his AA was cracked.

Next time I call a raise with AJ sooooted and the player after me also calls. The flop has two of my suit so I put in a bet and the original raiser folds but the player who was after me just called. The turn was a jack so I put the caller all in. He called and my flush came in on the river, to crack his QQ.

On the final time I called with KQ sooooooooted in middle position and saw a Q high flop. I bet around the size of the pot and got re-raised. The only hand I was worried about was AQ but since there was no PF raise I called the re-raise and turned a K. Now I was hoping for AQ and checked. He checked behind and the river was a picture perfect Q. I pushed and he used up all his time bank before calling with AQ. Would have been a great fold. I couldn't have made it. But had he raised pre-flop I probably would have folded to the re-raise on the flop.

Maybe I'm the moron and these players are really smart because I was way behind them and most of the time they got their money in when they were huge favorites and I had to get lucky. But most of them never even gave me a chance to fold my hand. I don't know if they thought they were trapping pre-flop, but the only people they trapped was themselves.

If you are going to play big pairs that soft pre-flop and not try to define your opponents hands, you better be DAMN good at reading your opponents bets, and be able to lay down in VERY tough situations. And that's pretty damn good. Better than me.

Now I know what the "W" is for...