Good Week

It started Tuesday night with a third place finish in the Weekly Wheatie, and the hot streak continued with a Wednesday win in the Mookie. My secret? Have AA in the big blind when someone raises into you. Happened three times in this tourney.

I played the hammer six times in the Wil Wheaton tournament, and won all six times, once winning 1000 chips from CJ which put me into the lead.

I played it twice in the Mookie, the final time when heads up. Won 10,000 with it after a continuation bet. I folded it once when I was in the small blind and there were two all-ins in front of me.

Papi Justify got horribly unlucky on the last hand of the Mookie. I raised A5 and he reraised. Flop came 235 and I pushed, thinking top pair might be good, if not I had redraws with the ace and the gutshot straight. Papi called with 66 and I started begging. I didn't have to beg for long when the turn was a 5 and I just barely had him covered, so the bad beat ended the tourney.

Mookie always live blogs his tournament on his blog: 9/28/06 Mookie. Interesting that I was either leader or in second for nearly the entire tournament, but my name isn't even mentioned outside of chipcounts until 11:55 in a three hour tournament that ended at Midnight! THAT'S how you win these things, stay under the radar!

Terrell Owens attemps suicide

Poor poor little incredibly talented multi-millionaire who gets tens of thousands of people to cheer for him weekly.

You know they're going to blame the whole thing on a "side effect" of the painkillers. Because he was SUCH a stable guy up to this point.

My favorite part of the story is the quotation marks around the word "supplements." You can almost see the reporter doing finger quotes when he says that.

Update:

Douchebagerry by T.O.

While a member of the Philadelphia Eagles, wore a Dallas Cowboys jersey on a flight home after being badly beaten by the Cowboys.

Went on Philadelphia Radio and said "I don't care what the fans think."

While on the Philadelphia Eagles team, going on ESPN and saying that he thought the Eagles would be undefeated if Brett Favre were on the team instead of Donovan McNabb.

Appeared in an interview for Playboy magazine, where he called 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia a homosexual.

Admitted in 2005 that he has never actually read his own "autobiography."

Blamed Donovan McNabb for getting tired and therefore losing Super Bowl XXXIX.

Claimed he wanted a contract higher than Donovan McNabb's.

Got involved in a physical fight with team official and former teammate Hugh Douglas, for which he was suspended and eventually released from the Eagles. He blamed the media.

Ran to the star in the middle of the field in Dallas to celebrate a touchdown. This enraged Dallas fans and bothered his teammates. So he did it again. He was suspended for a week.

In a game where the 49ers blew a lead against the Bears, he accused head coach Steve Mariucci of throwing the game on purpose to protect Chicago head coach Dick Jauron's job.

After the Sharpie incident he said the NFL targeted black players with rules restricting touchdown celebrations.

Before even playing a single game with the Philadelphia Eagles, he criticized the team because he felt that he wasn't getting the ball enough in pre-season games.

Poker Comic #97 - Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

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Poker is Good for Kids?

I was talking with a colleague the other day, and we were talking about growing up. I got into some trouble when I was growing up, being that I was a little shit-head know-it-all. (Those of you that know me are saying "was?") But I never got into serious trouble, never did drugs, barely drank and never got arrested. But my coworker got into serious trouble, involved in drugs, etc.

We wondered what the differences in our childhoods were that we had very different experiences. We grew up in the same state, in basically the same suburban setting, and we are about the same age. Neither of us came from a broken home, neither of us were rich but neither of us wanted for anything.

We hung out with vastly different crowds, and that seems to be the difference. But how did we end up hanging with such different crowds? Why did he gravitate to the "hang out and do drugs" crowd and I gravitated to the "get a job and make some money" crowd?

It was hobbies. I had a killer hobby, and it consumed me. I was into photography, and that pretty much kept me out of trouble.

While my friend was bored, hanging out with his friends getting high, I was building a darkroom in my closet. I was working in the mall camera store so I could save up some money for a new camera lens, he was watching MTV and getting stoned.

My friend had a hobby too, he played guitar in a band. A friday night for him was hanging out in a friends basement playing guitar and getting wasted. For me it was going to three different high school football games and working in the local newspaper's darkroom until 1 AM.

Now Time magazine tells us that some parents think Poker is Good for Kids? I'm not sure if that's the kind of hobby that's going to set your kids on the right path.

Teaching your kids to gamble is a dangerous thing. It's better that they should learn it like every other kid, by stealing their parents' credit cards and signing up for party poker.

Thinking of folks at the Bash

The Spirit of BG Compels You

Maybe it was jealousy of all the fun the folks were having at The Bash. Perhaps it was the spirit of Boy Genius actually transporting itself from Pennsylvania all the way to Tennessee telling me I needed to bet on some ponies. Maybe it was just boredom. At any rate, I was struck with the urge to go to Kentucky Downs, a racetrack just across the Tennessee/Kentucky border and less than an hour drive from here.

When I got there, I found this:
An empty track!

It rained quite hard this morning, and the forecast was quite dire for the Kenucky Downs area in the afternoon. As you can tell from the picture, it's as dry as a bone. But racing was cancelled either way. I did bet on a simulcast race at Belmot Park, made enough money to pay for my gas up there and back, and trekked back through Nashville to my temporary apartment.

Ah, here's that rain, 4pm:

You are DEAD sexy!

It's Not Easy Being Green

98% of my readers are en route to the Philadelphia area for The Bash at the Boathouse.

Included is a picture of Al 's garage.

I hope everyone has a good time. I really do. I really REALLY do. I'll alert the local hospitals to make sure they are prepared for a record number of alcohol poisonings. Some people thought it was silly when they gave Al his own room in the ER, but who's laughing now?

Everyone needs to make it home safe...with lots of cloudy, unclear stories to tell.

The World Series of Mookie

A lot of people seem to be getting their panties twisted up into their twats over the quality of play in the Mookie.

I think we need to remind ourselves that it's a lousy $10 tournament that probably costs most of us more money to play based on what we would win by playing some other games. The thing takes like 3.5 hours to finish, and you stand to make like $150 for first place? My time is better spent at the PLO8 tables, if I'm in it for the money.

The point is to have fun, put the worst, tilt-inducing beat or bluff past your opponents, and drop a lot of hammers.

I heard about one player saying he "needed to win" the Mookie last night. If this was true, you really shouldn't be playing.

Poker Comic #96 - Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Party Poker or Absolute Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Poker Hacks

Poker Blogs aren't dying. They're just resting.

The buildup to the World Series of Poker is a big deal, and since many (most?) bloggers actually went to Vegas this year and participated in blogger events and WSOP events, there was a flurry of blogging MADNESS.

You would expect there to be some recovery time after such an experience, and there is. Even Pauly is taking some time post WSOP to get away from the poker world for a while. Do you think that means the Tao of Poker is dying? I seriously doubt it. The doctor has been blogging for a long fuckin' time, and he will continue to blog, about poker and whatever else, for a longer fuckin' time.

Blogging is an interesting medium. It's both easy and hard at the same time. It's like college. Anyone can get in. It's easy at first. It gets harder and harder as you go along. Not necessarily because things get more difficult, but because life gets more and more in the way. If you can go the whole four years, you've had to make a significant commitment.

The reason most blogs die is because they don't know what they're doing. They just start writing, telling stories. There's no goal in mind, no destination. Some of the lucky ones find something along the way. They find a POINT. They find a reason for doing what they are doing. It doesn't have to be something especially meaningful. It just needs to be something you do that makes your blog special. Your "niche." The rest just keep wandering around, not finding somplace to go. Eventually they get lost. Sometimes they're never heard from again.

So which are you? Do you have a destination? Is there a point? Or do you just keep plodding along, posting and posting, hoping you don't get lost?

Pokerphrased #3

Poker Strategy

I don't usually post strategy around here. Mostly because I'm not a very good player, I just know how to take advantage of the REALLY bad players, and I know how to find them. Once you've learned that, you will make money at poker.

But once in a while I happen across plays that seem to work every damn time. Usually I'm amazed how consistently they get paid off, but sure enough, they do.

Here's an Omaha/O8 play that seems to work around 99-100% of the time.

You're rolling along playing your good starting hands, betting the nuts hard and taking it easy with most other hands, folding to serious action with anything less than a monster draw. Your opponents may notice that if you're betting hard, you've got a hand, or a big draw. Usually they won't notice shit, this is online poker after all.

You limp or call a small raise with some nice connector cards, and BAM you flop the nut straight in early position. Happens all the time. You want to bet it, because if the board pairs or a flush comes, you're more than likely dead. You won't really get folds that easily from four to a high flush or a set, but you still need to make them pay. Two pair will come along too, just to add to the fun.

So you bet somewhere between half the pot and the whole thing. You get at least one caller, probaby 20.

The turn brings a brick, you still have the nut straight. You make the same kind of bet, and at least one of your 20 callers stays with you.

The river is yet another brick and you've got the hand locked up. You can be relatively sure that you're not going to split the pot unless a low came, because one of your opponents would likely have raised you somewhere along the line.

What's your play?

CHECK. NEVER VALUE BET THIS HAND. If you check here, your opponent will bet. 99% of the time they are going to pot it, hoping to take down the whole thing on your "missed draw." Even decent opponents will bet with nothing here, but if your opponent at least has top pair he is going to make a play.

I'm amazed it works. But it always does. It seems obvious that the right play is to check behind with something mediocre, but that hasn't been my experience. Strong/Strong/Weak is just too big of a temptation, I guess because Omaha is such a game of draws, it's easy for your opponents to imagine that you missed.

Give it a shot.

Pokerphrased #2

I missed the Mookie last night. I have no excuse, I intended to play, I was just resting my eyes and BAM! It was 11:00. I will make an extra effort next week to make the game. It's my favorite of the consistent tournaments, and the switch to Full Tilt just makes it even better.

Poker Comic #95

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Party Poker or Absolute Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

The New MNF

I had a great time watching the new Monday Night Football on ESPN last night, following along with Drizz. We had a $10 straight up money line bet, and his Vikings defeated my Redskins by a field goal. We couldn't have asked for a tighter game, as the 'Skins missed a field goal with less than 30 seconds left that would have sent the game to overtime.

I really liked the new ESPN Monday Night Football team. It was kind of loaded for the Redskins side with former 'Skins quarterback Joe Theismann and long-time Washington Post Sportswriter/columnist Tony Kornheiser. I tried to find out if Mike Tirico went to Howard University or something, but I couldn't find out if Tirico even went to college. (I did read about his suspension for Sexual Harassment though....)

I was just glad they got rid of Paul Maguire (no relation to Dr. Pauly I assume.) I never liked that loudmouth. Kornheiser was opinionated as usual (most are familiar with him from his ESPN show "Pardon the Interruption" with Mike Wilbon) but he was respectful and understated at times as well.

Anyway, thanks for sharing the game with me Drizz, it was worth $10 just for the fun evening. When you made the wager, I bet you didn't know you were going to have to entertain me for a few quarters.

Pokerphrased #1

Introducing a new feature here on Go Be Rude: Pokerphrased. It's very simple. Take a famous quote from a famous person and paraphrase it to apply to poker.

It struck me how often many famous quotes about Love, Life and War can also be fittingly applied to poker. This was the first one that struck me, so I am putting it first, even though many of them are far more clever. Stay tuned.

Hopefully I can do one of these per week too. Wish me luck.

Channeling Felicia Lee

"Fantasy Football is just Dungeons and Dragons for guys who used to beat up the guys in high school that played Dungeons and Dragons."
DuggleBogey

Nobody cares about the lineup/prediction/results for your Fantasy Football team. NOBODY! I know guys that are way into Fantasy Football. They have multiple teams going at the same time, and large wagers, (although not necessarily money, it's usually some form of humiliation) on the outcomes. When they get to a blog and someone starts talking about their Fantasy Football team, they move on. They spend at least half their work day working on their personal team, but they don't want to read about yours.

I guess Fantasy Football Teams are like people's children. Everyone thinks theirs is the most fascinating one ever created, but really, nobody is interested in any one that isn't their own.

Enough phonies

Okay, I've posted enough fake houses. Here is a pic of the actual house I am buying in Tennessee,



There's still a lot of landscaping to be done, but the construction is complete. We move in early October.

Speaking of moving, the corporate housing people called me on Friday (Remember them?) and told me there was a screw up with my corporate housing and I have to move AGAIN. So I have been packing my things this weekend and I move to the new place Sunday afternoon.

I hope the Internet isn't as much of a hassle to set up over there as it was here...

NFL Starts TONIGHT!

Don't forget, the NFL Season starts TONIGHT!

Try and Stop Me

Oh The Humanity

This guy got brutalized in the Tanner Charity Mookie last night when he tried to take on GaryC, who was on an amazing heater, holding only a measly pair of aces. Here's a consolation prize.



Fire me an email if you want the full size one.

Update:

Here's one with totally different dimensions:

Poker Comic #94 - Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Party Poker or Absolute Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Death Pools

I'm not in a Death Pool, but I've often thought about joining/starting one. For those who don't know what a Death Pool is, each person selects ten famous people they think are going to die within a certain period of time (usually a year or so.) If someone on your list dies, you get one point for every year under 100 years old the person was when they died. The person with the most points at the end of the time period/year wins. Kind of morbid? Absolutely. But still intriguing for the true degenerate gambler.

If you are already in a Death Pool, and you didn't have Steve Irwin, you should disqualify yourself. Fifty-six points.

Poker Comic #93

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Some even require you to make a deposit! Poker Source Online gives you $100 Free for new players at Party Poker or Absolute Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Welcome New Readers

If you followed a link from the Comics Curmudgeon here welcome to my blog. It's mostly about Poker and other forms of gambling, but it's also about me complaining.

I also publish a weekly (or so) web comic called Poker Tells. If you don't play poker, most of the comics will be kind of inside jokes. If you do play poker, then most of the jokes still aren't that funny.

Anyway, Welcome to Go Be Rude! It's my bitter little corner of the internet.