Poker Source Online reaches 25K Members

I think anyone that reads this blog knows I am the biggest supporter and promoter of the Poker Afilliate Site Poker Source Online.

I've said over and over again, if you aren't hooked up with a place like Poker Source Online, you're getting robbed.

But what I don't mention as often is the Poker Forum. There is a wealth of poker information in there, about general poker strategy and poker bonuses. There are some very good poker players in there. It's mostly about online poker, but there are a few B&M players there too.

They've just reached 25 THOUSAND members. That's a lot of poker talk!

The Promotions are great. The League is great. The Freerolls are great.

The whole damn site is great!

Live Blogging Michigan

5:00am Alarm goes off
5:50am Leave for Airport
6:30am Arrive at Airport

6:40am Automated check in and through security in ten minutes. Make sure you get to the airport two hours before your flight kids...There are benefits to living in smaller cities. The downside is they were actually selling T-shirts in the airport that said "Nothing tips like a cow" imitating John Deer's slogan. Ugh.

6:45am Breakfast at Sonic. Oklahoma City is Sonic's headquarters...the airport is proud. Also many pictures of famous Oklahomans. Woodie Guthrie, James Garner, Mickey Mantle, Toby Keith, Will Rogers. Oklahoma City is the only place I know of that named its International Airport after a guy who died in an airplane crash.

6:50am Is there a poker boom on? As I sit in the gate typing this, the guy to my left is reading Super System 2, the guy to the right of me is playing some kind of hand-held texas hold em game. My in-laws gave me a handheld texas hold em game for christmas a couple of years ago. Worthless piece of crap.

9:30am Land in Chicago. Why is my connecting flight to Lansing at 1:10 when there's a 11:10 flight? I may be able to get it switched and get to Lansing two hours earlier. Hopefully my luggage will make it.

10:30am Still waiting, but for earlier flight. Brookstone prices their stuff like they'd rather keep it.

1:30pm (Now Eastern Standard Time) Upgrade to a full size car? Sure! Nissan Armada....fricking huge. V8 is nice though. The forecast for Lansing doesn't include a high over 32 degrees for the week. The highs this week in OKC? 80's. Ugh. Temp according to the Armada's thermometer? 25. Brr. Doesn't feel that cold though.

5:00pm Safely in hotel room...free high speed internet is cool. Vince Young's agent denies that he scored a six (out of 50!) on the NFL Wunderlich Intelligence Test. (He actually scored a 16.)

8:30pm In the money in my first Michigan MTT. Cannonball tourney at Pokerroom.com. 244 entries, I'm 9th out of 30 so far...

9:30pm Second break, I'm in 2nd with 11 left. I really like these Cannonballs, it gets the pointless part of the tourney over with quickly, the morons knock each other out, and then the poker can start.

10:00pm Out in 3rd place...2.5 hours for an MTT is pretty good. $5 buy in nets $122.

YMBADI 4!

Well the Poker Chimp responded to my YMBADI post about him…and guess what? He provided enough for another episode of YMBADI!

I had to dig these quotes out of the dozens of LOLs. He still has the writing style of a 12-year old girl. What is the point of ending every sentence with an LOL? Is that so we’ll know he’s trying to make a joke? Is he “laughing out loud” at us, or is he telling us, “this is where you should be laughing out loud?”

Anyway, here are the funniest quotes lifted from just ONE POST. This guy is a donkey quote MACHINE!

If you think I'm going to give you the cow for free instead of paying for the milk your stupid! (Who’s paying for the milk here? He can’t even get the cliché right! And the irony of the phrase “your stupid” always kills me.)

I already got one of my call center chumps buying me cokes all day so I'll teach him poker at lunch - AND HE WON HIS FIRST PLAY MONEY TOURNAMENT LAST NIGHT! (Wow, a play money tournament? Next stop WSOP! Is everyone who takes advice from you a chump? Don’t answer that, I already know.)

I play as a woman on my poker sites because its a well known fact that there aren't only a few women who can play poker at all. (If you can dig through the illiteracy, I think he’s saying very few women can play poker well. [Actually, he says the opposite, but I don’t think that’s what he meant to say.] I’m not sure where this “well known fact” comes from. There are a lot of well known facts he apparently doesn’t know, like those regarding spelling and grammar.)

I'm saying that we all know women have their place and I know two places they don't belong and that's at the poker table, or all up in my shit. (All I know is, your place was never in English class.)

Its always been possee over pussy as far as I'm concerned. (As many times as you call me a fag, Freud might say that you prefer posse IN PLACE of pussy.)

My favorite parts of the post are where he defends spousal abuse, and where he claims that he’s not a racist because he thinks Chris Rock is funny. I bet he’s a big Stepin Fetchit fan too!

Regret

I have regrets about Tuesday's "You Might Be A Donkey If..." post. But not for the reasons you'd think.

At first I was reading this Chimp's blog, and it was immediately obvious that he was a donkey. It had your standard donkey features....Poor grammar and spelling, horrendous poker advice, retarded picture of himself with his chest puffed out. The only reason he makes money playing poker is because he plays at levels where his opponents are even worse than he is, and variance hasn't completely caught up to him. He obviously doesn't use Poker Tracker, if he has even heard of it. If he even had the mental capacity to use it.

But as I was reading his blog more and more, it started being less funny and more sad. His blog wasn't a satire, it was really his outlook on life. An outlook he probably shares with a lot of people.

His blog isn't simply about an ego that has gone totally out of control. It's much more than that. His blog glorifies abusing women. His blog is racist. His blog glorifies such topics as drunk driving and child neglect. His blog is an absolute horror.

I fear that there are more people like him out there. A lot more. More like him than not. One commenter said there needs to more people like him. The possibility that there might be scares the shit out of me.

Poker Comic #63

Poker Comic brought to you by Instant Bankroll!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

YMBADI 3!

Time for another installment of "You Might be a Donkey If:"

Here's a tip to know if you are reading a Donkey's Blog: If you read "LOL" at least once in each post, you are either reading a Donkey's blog or a 12-year old girl's blog.

I would say that my game is pretty similar to Phil Hellmuth's. (Wow....just.....wow.)

I didn't like SS2 that much, but I thought Phil Hellmuth's Play Poker Like the Pros was pretty good. (Don't go to this Donkey for book reports.)

People think it's silly to rather play with good players, but I most definitely would. (Then why do you only talk about beating fish?)

Every goddamn time I have a hand someone has one better. This NEVER happens in our home games. (I know, it must be rigged!)

That's how bad these online players are. The guy probably voted for John Kerry too! (Political affiliation obviously has a lot to do with poker skill.)

That's the most frustrating part about poker. The best player doesn't always win. If that was the case I'd be living on a beach somewhere sipping umbrella drinks from a lawn chair. (Now he's paraphrasing his hero...)

I'm down $50 already and so now I got to win $250 to keep up my pace. I decided to go to a NL$200 table. (Next attempt: Brain Surgery)

It's only a twenty minute drive for me, but I had about 20 Buds. (Donkeys Always Drink and Drive.)

I got sucked out on!!! I get KK and someone bets the blind amount in front of me. I raise him the minimum cause I don't want him going anywhere. Flop comes Ace-Jack-5. He checks, and of course I bet. I bet the pot and he pushes all in for $110. I call and he has Ace-7. (It's not a suckout if he had the best hand when the money went in, Donkey.)

The ONLY time that I bluff in a Sit And Go is when I KNOW they're going to fold. (Fucking Genius!)

I will also call with any two suited cards if there hasn't been a raise. (Oh the fishies and their flushies.)

Only raise if you have an ace and a face card, and it helps if they're suited. I also don't like to raise with big pairs because I don't want to chase any of the action out. (Holy shit!)

I was trying to think of a way I could charge for this (Fucking Donkey gives BAD advice and wants to CHARGE for it!)

This is totally priceless, on why he would only like to play pros:
1) Pros know when to lay down hands.
2) You can bluff a pro.
3) Fish always chase idiot draws. AND THEY HIT!
4) If I want a pro to fold I can make him think I actually have a hand.
5) Pros only play good hands, so you can put them on big cards usually.

What I can't stand are those godamn tourists that want to tell you what a fish you are. You know who you are - if you can't take losing don't play poker! (I have never EVER seen a blog where someone taps the tank more than this guy.)

I wonder where he learned the word "tourist" to mean bad player? The term is pretty exclusive to vegas regulars who play actual "tourists." To use it online is absurd, but I'm amazed this moron even spells it correctly.


Bonus:
You might be from Kentucky if:

[Ex wife] called me up again last night and I guess our son got into more trouble at school. I told her already don't expect me to keep after him if I only get to see him once ever two weeks. And what about the guy she lives with? He gets to live there, have her cook his meals, and he don't even work! (Extra redneck points for grammar.)

(About MLK holiday) Seems they should be celebrating President's Day more since Abe Lincoln helped them out so much. (They? Just say 'Niggers', you know you want to.)

Fuck golf anyway, that's for old white dudes who work in an office managing people anyway - ok, old RICH white dudes that work in an office and manage people anyway - LOLLOL! (White trash said what?)

And yes Pete had the bourbon out again. Every shot was dedicated to kicking the shit out of that dumb ass bitch. You'd think someone with a fresh scar for a reminder would learn to walk the line. (Not too many blogs glorify spousal abuse as much as this guy's.)

Tommy said, CUNT! if you don't serve me I'm gonna wear that ass out! I liked this because he twisted it on her. She either serves us, or he gets to set that shit up on a rail. Tommy isn't no dummy, and he knows his way with women. (Yeah, he's a real charmer. Extra points for the redneck double negative.)

Banner for Veneno

Pick your favorite GBR banner

Here are all the banners I have made for Go Be Rude. Which one of them is the best?

1


2


3


4


5


6


7

Think about it

Party Poker has changed their Single Table Tournaments (SNGs) so now you start with 2000 chips. The blinds don't increase fast enough to be a significant factor on whether you will play a hand until probably an hour into the tourney.

Now, the vast majority of the players at Party Poker are still used to the 800 chip tourneys where there was blind pressure 15 minutes into the tourney. The very same tournaments where I had a standing over/under bet on a player going out on the first hand at a half. And the OVER hit so often I was thinking of changing it to one and a half.

Party Poker SNGs have to be the biggest donkey-fests on earth. The play at the lower levels will absolutely make you laugh out LOUD as you see someone bet $20 into a $2000 pot. As you go up in levels, you realize that these are just the same idiots with more money or less self-control.

These fishies will eventually adjust to the new game and they will stop feeling like someone is standing on their neck demanding they go all-in sometime during the first round.

Until then GET YOUR ASS INTO THESE GAMES AND TAKE AS MUCH MONEY OUT OF THEM AS YOU CAN.

Just a little tip from your Uncle Duggle. Share the love.

Last Vehicle Produced

It looks like the last vehicle produced in the GM plant that I work in will be finished sometime today. They'll probably drag it out until Monday because that's when the news crews are scheduled to be here, but it will definitely get through the paint shop (my area) today.

This is good news for me, because I don't have to be here on Monday and I can probably stay an extra day in Kansas City and drive back on Monday. It's always a better time when we go during the day on Sunday instead of 1-2am on Saturday night. Mostly because we get more comped food. Since this is probably my last trip to Kansas City for a while, I plan on having a good time.

NOW BLOGGING LIVE

Poker Comic #62

Poker Comic brought to you by Instant Bankroll!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Banner for the Waffle Man

Email me for the full size banner if you like it.

Poker Comic #1 err.....#61

Poker Comic brought to you by Instant Bankroll!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Okay Okay, so it's not totally original....and everyone hates repeats. But I've had so many people tell me that Comic #1 wasn't funny that I needed to edit it to make more sense, even for poker players. So what's the verdict? Is this one funny now, compared to #1?

I let it slip in the last post that I won't be attending the DADI III HU Tournament. It sucks, I know, but things are pretty crazy here. Today is my ninth wedding anniversary, along with Valentine's Day. But Mrs. Bogey is working every night this week except Friday, so we are celebrating our anniversary on Friday. Then I'm going to Kansas City on Saturday, and going to Lansing Michigan on the 27th. That means my time with Mrs. Bogey is going to be limited in the very near future. You might not have noticed, but I can be a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS, and Mrs. Bogey puts up with a LOT of SHIT. She deserves to at least have a nice anniversary/Valentine's Day.

What I am specifically NOT doing here is telling you about the new Poker League on Poker Source Online. You definitely don't want to play in this league. Just because there are 10 tournaments that cost $5.50 each to join. They have the full tournament payout, plus they are giving away an extra $300 in PSO Points to the winner of each tourney. ($200 for second and $100 for third.) Just because the person with the highest cumulative score in the best 6 of 10 tournaments gets a free buy in to the $1500 WSOP event of their choice, plus $500 cash for travel/spending money. Second and Third cumulative winners get tons of PSO Points too.

Just so you have it straight, you have 10 tournaments with a total buy in of $55, and a very good chance to win a free buy-in at a WSOP event that you get to choose, and $500 in cash. You DEFINITELY DON'T want part of that, and I DEFINITELY DON'T want you as competition.

Happy Valentine's Day

Mrs. Bogey and I are celebrating Valentine's Day/Our Anniversary on Friday, so this is just for y'all. That's all you're getting. Screw Hallmark.

Austin is a No Go

I got the final word today that the Austin job is not going to happen. I saw the job listed again on several job search sites to I contacted them and they decided they wanted a different skill set, as noted in the changes to the job listings.

I wish them good luck finding someone with that skillset. They've defined an incredibly narrow set of skills that I'm sure no actual human fulfills. I was starting to get the feeling that they didn't really want people for this job, but for some reason they always want it listed. Had they asked me about some of the skills they added, I would have been able to fulfill them. But some of them are totally ridiculous. Like 3 years of experience on software that was released last year. Very nice.

So now I am down to Lansing Michigan, which is a sure thing, unless I can swing this job in Arlington Texas. The Arlington job is good for a lot of reasons, not just the weather.

Ripping off Blaise Pascal

Posted by me today in PSO forums in answer to one of the THOUSANDS of "Online Poker MUST be rigged, because I got a bad beat" threads.

When you have setbacks, you can assume that one of three things happened.

1) You played poorly.
2) You got unlucky.
3) The game was rigged against you.

Idiots assume number 3, bad players assume number 2, and good players assume number 1.

The reason that good players believe number 1 is that even if number 2 is true, it doesn't do them any good. If you always assume that you can improve your game and you constantly try to do it, you will be better off.

Banner for Nick Christy

Here's one for Nick Christy's blog All In

Banner for PokerStage

What do you guys think of this one for PokerStage, home of Fallstaff?

You might be a donkey if.... II

You Might Be A Donkey If...

Time for another installment of 'You Might Be A Donkey If"...The best kind of donkeys are those that think they are good players.

You might be a donkey if you've ever written the following in your blog...

"Out in 8th. (out of 10) Pushed a 4-flush draw on the flop that didn’t complete."

"Out in 10th when a draw didn’t come through." (Donkeys always what?)

"Horrible cards, resulting in loss after loss."

"286 out of 293. Bluff didn’t pay off."

"My bankroll is taking a major hit after the last 3 weeks of poor finishes"

"What I’ve noticed about STT tourney play is this: let those that want to go out early help each other." (Like those that push four-card flush draws?)

"I was chip lead for quite some time, but lost it in one hand when my Opponent drew a straight to my missed flush draw."(Oh, those fishies and their flushies.)

"Maude, whom I really enjoy reading, quotes some good sources on being the victim of luck" (Do you enjoy reading her enough to know her name is Maudie, not Maude?)

"My tourney game is pretty hit and miss at the moment. I’ve been getting dealt some bad cards and have been running into luckier Opponents than I" (When he makes a mistake, the wise carpenter blames himself, but the unwise carpenter blames his tools.)

"Identify the sites I’ve done well at in January. Focus more attention on those in coming month" (Because it's the site who determines the winner, not the player, right?)

"I had AA beat by a guy who went all-in after the flop with a T93 showing. He had QJ in his hand and made a straight on the river. In a freezeout, that play would be silly to make, but when you can buy more chips… what the heck, push the button and see what happens." (Really? Are you sure he didn't have one less out than some of your four-card flush draws?)

All these quotes come from the same Donk. It's funny because at first he seems bright and successful, then as you read he says the DUMBEST things. Like swearing off rebuy tournaments every other day, while reporting his rebuy resutls in between those days. First he says rebuys are a great deal because "there’s action and a lot of weak all-in moves that can work to your advantage", which he follows a few days later with "They're just luckfests" or "I get out-drawn too much" You can't have it both ways, dumbass.

You might even think the guy is a HUGE success because he reports a MTT final table a few times a week. He must be good, right? Then I saw he played something like 382 tourneys in January.

Update: I love to imagine the rush to google these things to try and figure out whom I'm talking about. Of course linking it would make it easier for everyone...but I think it's wrong to link people for being a donkey.

I finally found it!

I've been searching, and I finally found it! The PERFECT STORM of STUPIDITY! It's from a poster on the PSO forums that goes by the name a_phillips.

"i completly agree with chane on this i do this for a living as welll but mostly live games. but he is right i will be playing for 12 hours st8 (dont really care if you belive me or not) and then all of a sudden cards turn onme the rake hit my big pots and i seem to lose the money i had workes up in a seasion in a matter of 6 or 7 hours that is fing bs and anyone who says otherwise is very ignorent (for you peps who dont know proper grammer it really mean not knowing or ill informed) i know my odds and my play the worstbeateven happened to me twice in a row i get pp jacks floped a set someone with king jack callsmy all in and it came runnig kings that dosent happen in a live game only online. The next hand i get kk floped a set someone got runing queens to beat me with quads he has pp queens i mean cmon is bs. It will never happen in a live game most peps on here only play online but i make a living playing moslty live and these beats will never happen in a live game they are true to the odds given to them like 2800 to 1 to flop a boat of any kind how many times have you guys floped a boat in one sesion cmon i know it has to be at least 20 times at 2800 to 1 odds on floping it you play 60 hands per hour or even at 100 hands per hour your only seeing 1200 hands yet you flopping 30 times the amount of boats your suposed to this doesnt happen in a live game only online there is a real explantion on why online is in a way rigged. another reason is you see alot more premium hands than you would in a live games witch s also bs you see all the time aa vs qq vs kk all ins all the time i mean 3 or 4 times in a big tourny i have only ever see it once and i was smart enough to lay the qq down."

The incredible combination of stupidity and illiteracy absolutely ASTOUNDS me. The contest is over. We have a winner!

If this:

"that is fing bs and anyone who says otherwise is very ignorent (for you peps who dont know proper grammer it really mean not knowing or ill informed)"

didn't make you laugh, you're just not human.

Stay tuned tomorrow for another installment of "You might be a Donkey if..." Not quite up to this guy's standards, but still pretty damn funny.