I finally found it!

I've been searching, and I finally found it! The PERFECT STORM of STUPIDITY! It's from a poster on the PSO forums that goes by the name a_phillips.

"i completly agree with chane on this i do this for a living as welll but mostly live games. but he is right i will be playing for 12 hours st8 (dont really care if you belive me or not) and then all of a sudden cards turn onme the rake hit my big pots and i seem to lose the money i had workes up in a seasion in a matter of 6 or 7 hours that is fing bs and anyone who says otherwise is very ignorent (for you peps who dont know proper grammer it really mean not knowing or ill informed) i know my odds and my play the worstbeateven happened to me twice in a row i get pp jacks floped a set someone with king jack callsmy all in and it came runnig kings that dosent happen in a live game only online. The next hand i get kk floped a set someone got runing queens to beat me with quads he has pp queens i mean cmon is bs. It will never happen in a live game most peps on here only play online but i make a living playing moslty live and these beats will never happen in a live game they are true to the odds given to them like 2800 to 1 to flop a boat of any kind how many times have you guys floped a boat in one sesion cmon i know it has to be at least 20 times at 2800 to 1 odds on floping it you play 60 hands per hour or even at 100 hands per hour your only seeing 1200 hands yet you flopping 30 times the amount of boats your suposed to this doesnt happen in a live game only online there is a real explantion on why online is in a way rigged. another reason is you see alot more premium hands than you would in a live games witch s also bs you see all the time aa vs qq vs kk all ins all the time i mean 3 or 4 times in a big tourny i have only ever see it once and i was smart enough to lay the qq down."

The incredible combination of stupidity and illiteracy absolutely ASTOUNDS me. The contest is over. We have a winner!

If this:

"that is fing bs and anyone who says otherwise is very ignorent (for you peps who dont know proper grammer it really mean not knowing or ill informed)"

didn't make you laugh, you're just not human.

Stay tuned tomorrow for another installment of "You might be a Donkey if..." Not quite up to this guy's standards, but still pretty damn funny.