Well the Poker Chimp responded to my YMBADI post about him…and guess what? He provided enough for another episode of YMBADI!
I had to dig these quotes out of the dozens of LOLs. He still has the writing style of a 12-year old girl. What is the point of ending every sentence with an LOL? Is that so we’ll know he’s trying to make a joke? Is he “laughing out loud” at us, or is he telling us, “this is where you should be laughing out loud?”
Anyway, here are the funniest quotes lifted from just ONE POST. This guy is a donkey quote MACHINE!
If you think I'm going to give you the cow for free instead of paying for the milk your stupid! (Who’s paying for the milk here? He can’t even get the cliché right! And the irony of the phrase “your stupid” always kills me.)
I already got one of my call center chumps buying me cokes all day so I'll teach him poker at lunch - AND HE WON HIS FIRST PLAY MONEY TOURNAMENT LAST NIGHT! (Wow, a play money tournament? Next stop WSOP! Is everyone who takes advice from you a chump? Don’t answer that, I already know.)
I play as a woman on my poker sites because its a well known fact that there aren't only a few women who can play poker at all. (If you can dig through the illiteracy, I think he’s saying very few women can play poker well. [Actually, he says the opposite, but I don’t think that’s what he meant to say.] I’m not sure where this “well known fact” comes from. There are a lot of well known facts he apparently doesn’t know, like those regarding spelling and grammar.)
I'm saying that we all know women have their place and I know two places they don't belong and that's at the poker table, or all up in my shit. (All I know is, your place was never in English class.)
Its always been possee over pussy as far as I'm concerned. (As many times as you call me a fag, Freud might say that you prefer posse IN PLACE of pussy.)
My favorite parts of the post are where he defends spousal abuse, and where he claims that he’s not a racist because he thinks Chris Rock is funny. I bet he’s a big Stepin Fetchit fan too!