Thursday, February 23, 2006

YMBADI 4!

Well the Poker Chimp responded to my YMBADI post about him…and guess what? He provided enough for another episode of YMBADI!

I had to dig these quotes out of the dozens of LOLs. He still has the writing style of a 12-year old girl. What is the point of ending every sentence with an LOL? Is that so we’ll know he’s trying to make a joke? Is he “laughing out loud” at us, or is he telling us, “this is where you should be laughing out loud?”

Anyway, here are the funniest quotes lifted from just ONE POST. This guy is a donkey quote MACHINE!


If you think I'm going to give you the cow for free instead of paying for the milk your stupid! (Who’s paying for the milk here? He can’t even get the cliché right! And the irony of the phrase “your stupid” always kills me.)

I already got one of my call center chumps buying me cokes all day so I'll teach him poker at lunch - AND HE WON HIS FIRST PLAY MONEY TOURNAMENT LAST NIGHT! (Wow, a play money tournament? Next stop WSOP! Is everyone who takes advice from you a chump? Don’t answer that, I already know.)

I play as a woman on my poker sites because its a well known fact that there aren't only a few women who can play poker at all. (If you can dig through the illiteracy, I think he’s saying very few women can play poker well. [Actually, he says the opposite, but I don’t think that’s what he meant to say.] I’m not sure where this “well known fact” comes from. There are a lot of well known facts he apparently doesn’t know, like those regarding spelling and grammar.)

I'm saying that we all know women have their place and I know two places they don't belong and that's at the poker table, or all up in my shit. (All I know is, your place was never in English class.)

Its always been possee over pussy as far as I'm concerned. (As many times as you call me a fag, Freud might say that you prefer posse IN PLACE of pussy.)


My favorite parts of the post are where he defends spousal abuse, and where he claims that he’s not a racist because he thinks Chris Rock is funny. I bet he’s a big Stepin Fetchit fan too!

9 comments:

BG said...

This guy makes me want to swallow my own tongue. I don't fear for humanity, I fear for the future of the written word.

Lifesagrind said...

Having read the offending blog, if he's making all this up it's hillarious. If not, fear for the written word indeed.

drewspop said...

lol ;-)

C.L. Russo said...

I have to agree with your psychological assessment of this hick. For someone who hates gays so much, he certainly talks about dick a lot.

Plus, he said you had a 'girly dick.' How is this even possible?

Klopzi said...

This only confirms my belief that many people playing only poker with feminine usernames are simply thirty-something men playing poker wearing only nipple clamps and repeating over and over "Who's a dirty girl?..."

However, I wasn't aware that they were also sexist, racist morons...

dlk9s said...

IM DA BST POKER PLAEYR THEIR IS 2URIST!1!!!!! OMG TAHT IS Y TH3Y CAL ME POKER CHMP1!1!11!! DRINKNG B3RS SLAPNG BITCH3S AND HATNG DA COLOREDS MAEKS MA AN MARICAN!!!!!!!

iamhoff said...

I just found the offending blog via Jordan. Damn, are there really people like that out there? OMG, LOL, and all that stuff! Jebus the dude is a freak. And Russo has a good point. "Girly dick?" And Klopzi, I really didn't need that image in my mind!

The Royal Sampler said...

I agree with your previous post. It isn't funny anymore, it's just sad. Sad that wife-beating racists still exist int his world, and sad that they feel no shame in publicising their ignorance.

On the positive side, it has united the rest of the blogger community in opposition.

charon said...

I also went from funny to sad when I read through the champs blog for the first time but now when it has sunk in I really cant beleive that it is for real.

Ok, one explanation might be that I'm just too innocent in redneck ways but I feel pretty sure that the blox is a hoax, paroding the worst in bloggerdom .


I also thinkg that its quite possible that there is some of the more famous bloggers that stands behind the blog. Maybe even dugglebogey himself.

However, right now it seems that the clues points in another direction. He spends a lot of time talking about donkeys, and almost as much talking about pussy and fucking.

So... donkeys and fucking leads to the prime suspect for now.

Time will show I guess.