Friday, February 10, 2006

You might be a donkey if.... II

You Might Be A Donkey If...

Time for another installment of 'You Might Be A Donkey If"...The best kind of donkeys are those that think they are good players.

You might be a donkey if you've ever written the following in your blog...

"Out in 8th. (out of 10) Pushed a 4-flush draw on the flop that didn’t complete."

"Out in 10th when a draw didn’t come through." (Donkeys always what?)

"Horrible cards, resulting in loss after loss."

"286 out of 293. Bluff didn’t pay off."

"My bankroll is taking a major hit after the last 3 weeks of poor finishes"

"What I’ve noticed about STT tourney play is this: let those that want to go out early help each other." (Like those that push four-card flush draws?)

"I was chip lead for quite some time, but lost it in one hand when my Opponent drew a straight to my missed flush draw."(Oh, those fishies and their flushies.)

"Maude, whom I really enjoy reading, quotes some good sources on being the victim of luck" (Do you enjoy reading her enough to know her name is Maudie, not Maude?)

"My tourney game is pretty hit and miss at the moment. I’ve been getting dealt some bad cards and have been running into luckier Opponents than I" (When he makes a mistake, the wise carpenter blames himself, but the unwise carpenter blames his tools.)

"Identify the sites I’ve done well at in January. Focus more attention on those in coming month" (Because it's the site who determines the winner, not the player, right?)

"I had AA beat by a guy who went all-in after the flop with a T93 showing. He had QJ in his hand and made a straight on the river. In a freezeout, that play would be silly to make, but when you can buy more chips… what the heck, push the button and see what happens." (Really? Are you sure he didn't have one less out than some of your four-card flush draws?)

All these quotes come from the same Donk. It's funny because at first he seems bright and successful, then as you read he says the DUMBEST things. Like swearing off rebuy tournaments every other day, while reporting his rebuy resutls in between those days. First he says rebuys are a great deal because "there’s action and a lot of weak all-in moves that can work to your advantage", which he follows a few days later with "They're just luckfests" or "I get out-drawn too much" You can't have it both ways, dumbass.

You might even think the guy is a HUGE success because he reports a MTT final table a few times a week. He must be good, right? Then I saw he played something like 382 tourneys in January.

Update: I love to imagine the rush to google these things to try and figure out whom I'm talking about. Of course linking it would make it easier for everyone...but I think it's wrong to link people for being a donkey.


Nick Christy said...

Funny stuff, are you going to let us in to whose site you got these off of, I think reading their blogs would be entertaining!

Chad said...

My eyes, they hurt after reading that. (That's because I just stabbed 'em with a bent paper clip)

dlk9s said...

I found it! I win!

Wes said...

Sounds like the same douche that got made fun of by BG. Oh wait, IT IS!

DuggleBogey said...

I guess I should have made this post a tribute to BG....damn!

drewspop said...

haha, probably what mine sounds like too. oh well, I already know I'm a donkey.

Drizztdj said...

I R Tournament Donkey but he makes me feel like Chip Jett without the slicked hair.