Return of the Donkeys

I played in another Oklahoma tourney last night, and it was Donkey City. These players were the worst. Anytime you hear "I won that hand because it's my birthday," you know the fishies are swimmin'.

The first hand I played was Q4o from the big blind. Blinds are 10/20 and the stacks start around 3000. 5 players and the flop is Q87. I bet the pot, 100 chips. I get 4 callers. Well, that told me a lot. The turn is a 4. I hit the two pair, so I pot it again, 600. Two callers. River is a 6, and I know I'm dead. SB checks, I check, and the button turns over 55. The small blind shows A5. Neither bet their straight.

So I say "Fuck it, I'm outta here." Next hand is THE HAMMER. Beautiful unsuited 72. I raise to 800 Pre-flop. I figure the best thing I can do right now is bust out and get home early. I get five callers. There are only six other players there, for christ's sake. Flop is K77. Sweet! Nobody can think I have a seven because I raised pre flop, and anyone with a king or an ace will pay me off. I bet 100, hoping to get called in every place again. All fold.

I would think I have a tell or something, but these donkeys are too dumb to even look for them. All I can guess is that nobody had an ace or a king, which seems ludicrous if you consider that I raised FORTY times the big blind pre-flop. FIVE people called 40x and wouldn't call a 100 bet.

The worst part was there was a guy, one of the organizers, that took about a minute to make every play. Fold pre-flop? That's going to take a minute. Call a bet? 60 more seconds. A bet and a raise? Take a lunch, you'll be there a while. His wife was there and took 2 seconds to call all-in with a gutshot straight flush draw, up against a made full house. At least she had an out.

And beer was only $1.75. Too bad I get up at 5AM for work.