Friday, May 05, 2006

How to look like a giant pussy

Want to know the best way to look like a great big pussy?

Call someone an asshole. But don't actually have the balls to call them an asshole. Instead, spell it "a**hole."

If you don't have the balls to actually type the word out, then you aren't man enough to use the word. Is there some kind of internet censorship division of the government that I don't know about?

Same thing to all the comments I'm reading where people are saying "Eff 'em." Eff? If you want to say "FUCK 'EM" FUCKING SAY "FUCK 'EM" you gigantic vagina!

You are not on the fucking radio, the FCC is not going to knock down your door for saying the word "FUCK" on the internet. If you are embarrased by the words, don't allude to them, use different words. Say "Screw them" or "You're a jerk." It obviously doesn't carry the same weight, but you don't look like a female sex organ.

23 comments:

Haley said...

Sorry, dude,

It's not my right to leave vulgarities on someone else's blog, whether in context or not; therefore, an indirect reference is the proper use of the forum. You've got the brains to figure that one out --- please do so.

Great energy, by the way. Solid points, too. Manners, eh... not so good.

DuggleBogey said...

If a vulgarity is inappropriate, then a veiled vulgarity is equally inappropriate.

Chad said...

My vag has sand in it. Sorry.

CarmenSinCity said...

I will curse as openly and frequently as possible in all blogs from this point forward. Thanks fucker!!

TripJax said...

Fuck

Haley said...

Awright, Duggle: here's a quick ABC on the Power of Language.

Some people view the ability to say "fuck" as empowering, which is why it became a staple of such comedians as, say Bob Newhart, Richard Pryor, Lenny bruce, or a slew of secon-generation imitators. It was, at that time, but a phrase such as "fuck you" or "fuck them" has changed through the years, to where it now has a very specific meaning, rather separate from the physiological implications.

Nonetheless, some people have an aversion to the word itself. I'm not one of them; I don't really fucking care. But I will respect the rights of other people's blogs and (in the real world) their personal space by not peppering their virtual property with F-bombs if I don't know their specific stand on that topic. It's not my decision to make for them.

As I said, "fuck 'em" or "eff 'em" has a specific meaning rather unique to the phrase itself --- it says that whatever is being discussed needs to be disposed of... in a right big hurry. It's a very concise phrase for that purpose, too, but some people are still put off by the use of the F-word, context be damned.

So Byron wants to use "A**hole," and I've used "MOTHERF****R" when I've reprinted a hilarious quote from elsewhere. Okay, they -really- stand for "asshole" and "MOTHERFUCKER." I'm respecting my readers' right to enjoy the context while not subjecting them to the words themselves. That's why I used "eff 'em": it was the most oblique way to get across the meaning I needed --- the one that the phrase "fuck 'em" implies --- without causing any potential direct affront to Ryan's readers. I did not have that right. Byron made his own decision, for whatever his own reasons were.

Easy fucking decision. (Note the use of "fucking" as an adjective of power magnification, here.)

Beats me --- if you're a Howard Stern-wannabe, more power to ya. But if you want to write, and be respected for your writing, then you need to respect more than other people's words --- you need to respect the context in which they write those words. As of yet, you don't.

So rant away.

DuggleBogey said...

I could not disagree more.

I respect people who don't want to use vulgarities, and I respect people who want to use vulgarities.

I DON'T respect people who want to have it both ways. "I want to use a vulgarity without offending someone?" What the fuck is that?

Bloody P said...

Well, fuck me in the fucking ass with a goddamn fucking two by four, that was a motherfucking kickass post, you shit kickin' son of bitch!

Nice work!

Sincerely,

Bloody Fucking P

(BTW, I actually agree)

SirFWALGMan said...

Im fucking confused..

ToddCommish said...

Well, not to stir the pot, but I'm ok with saying "fuck" and "shit" and all of the other typically censored words... if someone else uses it first. It's kinda like farting in someone else's house. It's ok if they did it first.

dlk9s said...

I actually like the term "eff" in place of "fuck." I never use it because I'm afraid to use the real word (unless, say, I'm posting on PSO, a forum that I moderate and where we have rules against profanity) -- I just like how it sounds. Don't know why.

Same with a-hole. I just like it.

Haley said...

Duggle, my connotation of "eff 'em" as used was -not- a vulgarity --- but I respected that other people could interpret it that way... as you obviously do, "veiled" or not.

That's why I referred to it in the way that I did --- whether I believe something is a vulgarity is not important; other people get to set their own rules... and I had to weigh my desire to use the phrase for its alternate connotation against the possibility that someone would be offended by the more traditional version. As I tried to explain, I don't view it as a vulgarity because the phrase itself has changed; it's also why I view all the people who run around screaming "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" as... so fucking funny.

But they're pathetic-funny, not clever-funny --- they're every bit as puerile as those people who just have to find ways to circumvent chat-censor software. So, I'll self-censor or soften the occasional F-bomb, because there are people out there who just don't like the word, and who are hung up about it's usage. If everyone thought that "fuck" was an acceptable word, then there would be no reason to have such things as chat filters in place.

As for usage, it's true ESPECIALLY when it's in someone else's blog comment area, whom one cannot presume to speak for... and which you remain oblivious to. What part of "The World is Not My Shitcan" do you fail to understand? If one is going to use such a phrase, one has to find as polite a context as possible. And... if Ryan wants an apology from me --- he gets one. You get squat.

Yes, there are those that use "fuck" as you do. More power to ya. As for me, I think you're every bit as hung up about the word as the other side of the coin.

You can lead a horse to water... and if he won't drink, he's fucked.

So what's your real issue, here?

biggestron said...

D*ckhead!

23skidoo said...

FUCK YOU!

DuggleBogey said...

But they're pathetic-funny, not clever-funny

Actually I find it ironic that someone who says "Eff You" because he's afraid to say the word "Fuck" thinks that people who use the word "Fuck" are pathetic.

Bloody P said...

Eff that mother-effing B.S.

Geez, why the heck did this become such a huge ding-dang topic??

I really don't give a darn anymore. And I think you are all a bunch of crap heads for going so crazy about it.

I'm going to go have relations with my wife now.

Pardon the language, but I'm P.O.'d!

C.L. Russo said...

To paraphrase that sage, Homer Simpson:

You fucks are the fuckiest fucks that ever fucked. You're just plain fucked.

Duggle, what the dilly? Why so angry this week?

Haley said...

"... someone who says "Eff You" because he's afraid to say the word "Fuck" ..."

Oh, LOL. Anyone want to clue in this mysogynistic, clueless person?

DuggleBogey said...

Wow, more irony.

You call me clueless, and then say "mysogynistic" which isn't even a word.

Maybe you meant the word "misogynistic," which means "hatred of women" which doesn't seem to apply at all.

So please "clue me in" on what the fuck you were trying to say when you stepped in over your head and tried to use a word with more than two syllables.

C.L. Russo said...

Uh oh, spelling corrections. NOW this is getting ugly!

DuggleBogey said...

It's not as much a spelling correction as a use criticism.

I think she's calling me a misogynist because I didn't know that she was female.

Nevermind the fact that Chayse is a boy's name.

HighOnPoker said...

I would just like to add that C U Next Tuesday should be allowed instead of Cunt, not because it is an effort to be clean while cursing, but because it is a very clever play on words. Pretty funny, right Cunt?

Mr. Friendly said...

Are these ok?
Fug = Fuck
Bahstahd = bastard
biatch, byatch, biiiiiaaaatch = bitch
Shat = shit
goldurn = goddam = God Damn
Golddurnmuthafugginsunovabiatchwhowah = well you tell me