Hammered

I got much more sleep last night. I fell asleep at 8:30 (halfway through Prison Break) and slept straight through to 4:30am.

At the Poker Room on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning I sat for two hours at a loose $3/$6 game where a drunk was taking everyone's money. Constantly catching the anti-christ with 83o and endless wheels with his 23o. I got down to the felt with AQ and luckily caught a queen on the river to split the pot with another AQ. My half was $24 and I worked that back up to $74 before I left the table, which was breaking anyway.

After a few games of Video Poker ("Jacks or Better" needs to be renamed "Slow Death") KingLucky went to shoot some craps. Since I have sworn off craps like 12-stepper swears off booze, I returned to the poker room.

First hand, AA. I raise it up from MP and manage to get it capped. Luckily the board pairs threes on the river so I took down a $114 pot, minus the $2 tip. About ten hands later the rockets make another appearance between my fingers, this time on my button. This time they got cracked by 98 when a K95 flopped and donktard on my right got all the way to the river, which was an 8. I did foil his check raise when I just showed after the river, so the hand only cost me $15.

At that point I had played a couple times around the table, and had only showed two hands, AA and AA. So I thought it might be a good idea to mix it up a little. The perfect hand came when I got into MP, the glorious HAMMER. 7 of hearts, 2 of clubs. This is the perfect hand to play because A.) It never loses, B) If it does, it puts the table on tilt and gets you action, and C) It NEVER LOSES.

I raise from MP and the table, predictably, folds to the blinds. The BB calls and the donktard on my right calls. I think because he played every hand, raised, capped, whatever, he was in. The flop misses completely and it checks to me, so I bet. Both call. The turn misses too, but puts the third club on the board. I fire another bullet, and both call again. Uh-oh. The river comes the fourth club, it checks to me and I turn over the club flush, two kicker, and my opponents both muck.

It NEVER loses. The table exploded in laughter when I showed the hand. "If you're going to play them, you gotta play them for a raise, right?" I said, as I swept the chips to my growing stack.

Game. Fucking. On.