Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Thanks for all of your kind emails.....

Thanks for all of your kind emails.....

I had a great weekend that started on Friday night Online and continued through the weekend in Kansas City.

But first, I gotta mention stupid coozebag stripper's latest "insult disguised as a compliment." Apparently she heard about Felicia's diagnosis, but instead of just being nice decent HUMAN, she takes a shot at her. If anything like that happened to you, you'd be throwing the biggest pity party seen by mankind.

I realize that being a stripper doesn't require any advanced degrees, but LOOK DUMBASS, Felicia never referred to you as a hooker. She hasn't referred to you AT ALL lately, you self-centered moron. She was playing a tournament and making a joke about the winner getting a free hooker. NOT YOU, DIPSHIT. If someone told you she did, you're a fucking fool for believing it.

For anyone who is still reading Strippers useless site, I'll wrap up every post she has done in the last couple of months, and likely every post she will do for the rest of her pointless blogs.

"Thanks for all the nice emails"---This is where she lies and tries to convince anyone still reading her crap that someone out there still likes her, and that they aren't just your standard internet geeks who kiss her ass because she claims to be "hot."

"I made enough money to maintain the country of Bulgaria for a week."----Here's where she tries to convince readers that she's a FANTASTIC poker PROFESSIONAL, although she has never posted one IOTA of poker advice that would suggest that it's true.

"My military boyfriend is dreamy, although every other woman he has ever met is inferior to me."----the only thing I can imagine she is trying to do here is make people VOMIT. Her contribution to fighting the obesity problem, maybe?

"Here's something I saw on TV or on the Internet that made me stop and think for a second, and came to a COMPLETELY STUPID CONCLUSION."----This is actually almost entertaining, because she is so daft her conclusions are hilarious.

And that's pretty much all you are going to get from reading that site. Aren't you happy I could save you all that time?


Anyway, Friday night was just one of those nights where you can do no wrong. I played through my bonus at Absolute Poker and doubled my buy-in. It makes a lousy $100 in bonus money look like crap when you win $500 just trying to clear it. Not that I will ever turn down free money. How do I add that $100 into Poker Tracker? I wish there was a guide or something for that program.

It was one of those nights where every pre-flop hand held up, and every beat was held to a reasonable level. I'd say the best example is when I called a pre-flop raise with 99 in position, and flopped A95. Turn was a 5 and I raised, got called by the initial pre-flop raiser. I bet the blank on the river and got check-raised by the pre-flop raiser, and JUST CALLED his wired Aces. Ordinarily that hand is a big loser for me, but I only dropped one extra bet when he raised me on the river. Second nut is usually a hand I'll push, but I smelled a rat.

So while all this bonus clearing was going on, my friend KingLucky calls me from Kansas City and tells me he is playing a tournament and he wants to go to a movie with his son and would I take it over? I said no problem since I was playing anyways. I logged on as him and he had a pretty nice stack of 11,000 or so with about 200 left of the original 450 players. I made a few plays, trying not to get fancy and got to the lead fairly quickly. The final table was achieved with ease and I pushed them all around and eventually won it. KingLucky and I split the first place prize when I got to his house Saturday for his monthly home game. After killing the home game for like the third time in a row we took our stake to the Ameristar and KingLucky taught me his super secret Video Poker Strategy.

Okay, so there's no secret, we just play that when we can't handle the card-catchers up in the poker room anymore. But he did walk me through a lot of plays that I wasn't making optimally, and I won a LOT of money I wouldn't have. If you mix that in with the comps you get at a ridiculous rate when playing 100 play, it's really a very good system.

Poker went like hell at Ameristar when this indian dude across the table caught cards on me EVERY FRICKING HAND. Well, he played every fricking hand, so whenever I was in, he was in. I held AT and the flop was T88? He held T8. I held JJ, re-raised and the flop was T22? He held K2. There he was, betting the wrong amount on every street, with his wife, dot on her forehead and everything, planted on his shoulder like a parrot. Driving me and everyone else at the table crazy, and catching cards like a motherfucker.

I left before the damage got too bad, and the Video Poker winnings made up for it and then some. I think the real house edge in 100 Play Video Poker is in the mistakes the players make. Since VP is all about playing for the big hand, and you get 100 times as many shots at the big hand, the game seems very beatable. I have limited experience, but so far so good.

After the home game that started at 6pm on Saturday, we played from 2am to about 7pm on Sunday, which was nice because of all the basketball on TV, and the comped meals at the restaurants. I didn't like seing the UAB loss to Arizona on the bottom of the screen about 10,000 times, but that's a cross I will have to bear.

Slept Sunday night and drove 5 hours back to OKC on Monday. Getting up for work at 5am after skipping a night of sleep is always difficult, but I'll probably recover by tomorrow.


Human Head said...

Stripper. Ugh. Nice post, quite enjoyable.

Shelly said...

Enjoyed the post - boooyah on the Absolute cash. Nice work! I was "new" when the last Stripper fiasco took place, and never bothered to go to her site (choosing to stay neutral and not make enemies). But your post had me intrigued... so I peeked.

Do you people actually READ that crap? Or is it more like blogrolling a train wreck, just to see what happens next? Cuz that's the only reason I'm even partially compelled to add her to my bloglines - sick and twisted rubbernecking.

SirFWALGMan said...

I read stripper every month or so to see what stupid thing she has to say. So hence my late post on the subject. Did not know you had written something too.