I am very honored to have been invited by Dan Michalski, Editor of PokerBlog.com, creator of Pokerati.com and former Editor of ALL IN Magazine to publish my Poker Comic at PokerBlog. I hope to publish the comic simultaneously here and there every Wednesday.
I was inspired by TripJax new look, so I put up a new banner for Go Be Rude. I'm not renaming everything "DuggleBogey," even though more people know my blog by that name than by Go Be Rude. Hopefully google helps them out if they don't know the goberude.blogspot.com url. I do get an occasional search for the name "DuggleBogey," and I hope they're not all just people I put bad beats on in tournaments. Maybe one day I will get the url DuggleBogey.com to point here, but as for now, I am sticking with Go Be Rude.
As I told Trip, Go Be Rude is so.....me. And for those of you inside the joke, hopefully you will still enjoy it.
Hopefully the banner will give you a chuckle too.
Today, it got me this:
Well, it got that ordered for me, anyway.
In another life I was a photojournalist. I was really into it. I worked in camera stores when I was in high school while taking pictures of high school soccer games for the local paper. The darkroom experience I got by locking myself in the closet with a red light on eventually turned into a 4am job with my hands in photo chemicals. I invested more money than I should have into my gear, but it paid off when I got a full time job watching life through a viewfinder.
At some point my life took a right turn and I left behind the world of omni-present deadlines and underpaid peons working way too hard. When someone else stopped paying for the film developing, printing and publishing, the viewfinder never really found its way in front of my eye again. I bought a few early digicams, but the point-and-shootedness of them just never lived up to my addmitedly too high expectations.
Thankfully, the good people at Nikon thought to make their new digital SLRs with the same mount as the old film cameras I still had gathering dust in my closet. No, they don't do all the fancy auto-everything that the new lenses do, but they fit and allow light to pass through, which is basically all you need to make a photograph. The half-dozen lenses I used to haul around will find a new life with the new camera. They will eventually get replaced by new auto-everything lenses, (I've already started combing ebay for replacements, one arrived today) but it will be nice to put them to work again.
You may see the benefit on this blog. While digital evades the expense of film processing and printing, this is my publishing medium. The graphics stolen from the Internet may give way to actual photographs from my world. It staggers the imagination.
Wish me luck.
What is the deal with PokerStars allowing you to rebuy when you are all in, then adding 1500 chips to your stack whether you win or lose? I don't play rebuys very often, but this seems silly to me. I guess it would make more sense if they charged a vig on rebuys, because they'd make money every time someone pulled this cheat.
The consequence was a player at my table going all-in on every hand just so he could rebuy 10 times in a row. He lost a few of those hands, but that didn't slow him down. Eventually his plan worked and he had a ~10K stack to try and bully the table with. Fun!
When I witnessed this, I decided my entry was a mistake. I should have followed the example of my brilliant friend SirFWALGMan and just abstained. At least I was only in for $5.50 when I realized my error. Even with no rebuys and no add-on, I managed to make it about an hour and a half into the tournament (after being ridiculed by Iggy upon arrival at his table.)
My game and rebuys just don't mix. I am not able to make the adjustment necessary to play that type of game. I'm sure there's a calculation you can make to determine what hands make the most sense to play within the parameters of the "rebuy mentality" but I haven't considered it enough to know what they are. Maybe it's a weird combination of what you might play in a cash game at a very loose table. But what about when you build a pretty good stack of 8 or 9K in chips, only to get stacked. Is it worth rebuying and only getting 1500 chips? That seems like such a letdown.
Rebuys are a skill this player just doesn't have. And since I'm not willing to work on it, I may never get that skill. And I'm okay with that.
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Factgirl (aka Pastamancer on PokerStars) made a valiant effort to take out CJ (UpforPoker on PokerStars) and claim naming rights to next weeks WWdN tournament, but the luckbox lived up to his title and flopped a full house to crush her hammer trips. Amazingly, all the money went in pre-flop as Facty went all-in with the hammer and CJ cracked em like walnuts.
Oh yeah, I won the tournament. Whee!
UPDATE: Maudie actually did the deed, so next week's WWdN will be named after Aunt Maudie!
Here's the number one reason most guys are out there playing poker (especially at low limits), and it's not the money.
Money's just the most popular pretense. It's to make themselves feel smart. It's some kind of overwhelming need to prove to themselves or the world that they are smarter than all the other guys at the table, or in the tournament.
If you can't take a beat in a tournament without sticking around and telling the guy who made the 60/40 call for less than half of his stack what an idiot he is, using poor grammar the whole time, then you need to think about why you're playing the game.
If you can't realize that sometimes a call with any two cards is the right call because of the pot, and the fact that someone with a worse hand can occasionally win, and it bothers you so much that it steams you for the next fifteen minutes, you need to consider whether this game is good for your mental health.
Poker, especially holdem, is a game of SMALL EDGES. There is no two-card hand that is such an overwhelming favorite over any other that the pot can't make any pre-flop call correct. There are guys out there playing that think that if ANYONE calls their raise, they are making a HUGE mental error. They are so full of themselves and their game that they are ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDED when they don't win every tournament. These same guys make fun of Phil Hellmuth for essentialy feeling the same way.
If you are going to play poker seriously and expect to make money at it, you need to prepare yourself to take beats. Small beats, big beats, BRUTAL BEATS. Constant beats. It is going to happen. It's the game you've chosen. Accept it or switch to High-Stakes Backgammon.
You know you're evil when you take more pleasure in tilting someone than you do winning a tournament.
I took a bad beat to get knocked out of the "BloggerPods" tournament, but it was certainly alleviated by the fact that I took first in a 45-player SNG at Full Tilt at the same time.
I entered the SNG before I knew exactly when bloggerpods started. When I checked and saw it was a little more than an hour, I thought I'd be done by then. I didn't consider that I'd win the darn thing. I'm not very good at multi-tabling in the first place, and when I'm down to heads up it's really hard to pay attention to a $1 blogger tourney. I played a pretty strong heads-up game and managed to cripple my opponent with a flush draw that scored on the river. The $22 SNG paid a nice $342.
I did manage to put a nice bluff by Waffles in the Bloggerpods tourney. He limped on my BB and the flop came a semi-scary T97. I checked and he bet $500. I was fairly short with around $1600 in chips, but I thought I had just enough fold equity to make a move here. I only had 24 I didn't think he'd have a hard time imaginging a 68. I pushed and he let the timer run out. I showed the bluff and he soon tilted out, re-raising BG's 99 with A6s, and he was gone. All he said after I showed the 24 was "nice bet" but you could practially see the steam coming from his avatar. It was glorious.
You Might Be a Donkey If....you make money from playing poker but you still think it's rigged against you!
Actual quotes from actual donkeys! (Donkeys quotes are in Yellow, my comments are in Red.)
"I started with a $50 bankroll and cashed out more than 22K from pokerstars through years 2 and 3.
I have been playing Hollywood Poker. Scronging around on the .25 PL tables at 6 tables at a time.. total cashout is about $7K.
Although I have cashed out that much money, I have yet to play on a site that I truely believe is legit."
So this guy has made $29,000 from a $50 buy in, yet he thinks all online poker sites are rigged.
"What I mean by professionally is that I make money at it. I really only thought that your a pro if you make money, an amateur if you lose money."
Anyone who makes money at poker is a professional? Sweet, I'm up a nickel, I'm a pro!
"when you play 1200 to 2000 hands a day for several years, you have a vast mental memory of what are legit ups and downs."
Some poeple use "a vast mental memory" others use poker tracker. Who has more credibility?
"i made 22k at pokerstars.. about a year ago, they cut me completely off..what I mean by completely off is, NO MORE WINS... none.."
Never got another winning hand at PokerStars? I've told you a million times never to exaggerate.
"They don't want you to cash out money. They want the money in play. So, they give bad players enough good hands to stay even with the better players. That keeps the money in play, and rakes extracted. It's not an exact science of course, and the best hand doesn't always win."
In my experience the BEST HAND ALWAYS WINS. I doubt he could provide a hand history of a lower hand winning a pot.
"AND WHATEVER YOU DO>> never talk trash about a site in the chat room of the site.. NEVER. thats the fastest way to see your bankroll destroyed..."
They must be monitoring every single chat box at every single of the tens of thousands of tables they run at once. That's a lot of watchin'.
"after being cut off, I spent days playing at every level, pumped a few thousand dollars before I came to the conclusion I did..."
Aha! Your lucky streak came to an end, and suddenly everything is rigged against you. I get it now...
"Do you know how much money it cost to have a bankroll on multiple sites?"
Is this a trick question? Isn't it the total, all added together?
Basically what you are saying is, all online poker is rigged, but you are SO DAMN GOOD AT POKER you can overcome the rigging to make thousands of dollars?
"I am saying that although it is rigged, dumbasses will always find a way to lose..."
We agree on that, we just disagree on who the dumbass really is...
I always think of the "Online Poker is Rigged, but I'm so good I can still beat it" donkeys when things like this happen at a live table.
While in Vegas at a $2-$6 Spread game at Excal, the board came Jx2, 2, J and the guy on my immediate left shows my most hated hand in poker, the lethal J2.
"A pair of trips!" I exclaim, glad I got out of the way much sooner. "Very nice Jack-deuce sir!" This guy was a "play any two cards to a limp, but fold anything but AA or KK to a raise" kind of player.
About ten hands later, the board comes a chilling Jx2, 2, J, and the very same player on my immediate left shows J2 again.
"Holy shit! The exact same pair of trips!" This time he split with another player who held KJ and got the lucky one outer on the river.
I can't remember the last time I held a pair of trips. What are the odds of a guy getting two pairs of trips within 10 hands of each other, with the EXACT same two cards, which happen to be as shitty as J2?
The mind boggles.
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BloodyP changed the name of his blog, so I thought I'd take a few shots at a banner for him.
I feel like hammered shit. It's so hard to sleep when you wake up to cough every 30 seconds. So I slept in 29 second increments.
Why am I at work? My company finally approved my relocation estimate. I'm pretty shocked that they did. If you saw the numbers you'd be shocked too. If it were my company and I saw how much it would cost to relocate me, my first reaction would be "You MUST be high." But they approved it, so now they gotta pay.
Now I have to get the paperwork completed, move into corporate housing, find a realtor, sell the house in Oklahoma, buy a house in Tennessee and relocate all my shit from Oklahoma to Tennessee. In 60 days. There's no time in that schedule for sitting around being sick.
The drive through Arkansas and Tennessee was MUCH better than the flight through Dallas. It took longer than I thought because there was an accident that had traffic stopped dead on I40 about 60 Miles outside of Nashville for 90 minutes.
It's almost Midnight Central time and "the Ick" has really got a stranglehold on my throat. Right now I just want a Tylenol and a bed. I hope I can get out of work soon. Working after driving 11 hours isn't the brightest idea I've come up with yet. I expected everything to be smooth after two weeks off....wrong! Hopefully they will get on track soon...I might not be awake for much longer.
I thought the "Las Vegas Ick" was going away late yesterday, but it came back today with a vengeance. I was planning on driving to Tennessee tomorrow (If I have to go through airport security one more time I am going to lose it.) I hope I am up to it. It's about a ten and a half hour drive, usually a small trip for me but it's harder driving on Nyquil. Plus I'm supposed to work at 10pm. Ugh. Who's idea was this?
At least I will be able to bring some of the finer things in life if I drive, like my Poker Table, Poker Chips and Golf Clubs. You know, the things that make life worth living. Wish me luck.
I have aquired the Las Vegas "Ick."
I have only myself to blame. Staying up for 40 hours straight, weakening your immune system and playing poker with filthy chips the whole time is just asking for a germ festival in your mucous systems. Plus touching all the slot and video poker machines. Just begging for trouble.
The Anti-American feelings persist, as they cancelled my return trip. Luckily I was flying on Wednesday and there was a seat left on the flight from Vegas to Dallas. My non-refundable ticket is still there. It is only good for a flight to Vegas between now and next July. Just one direction. Handy. Or I can get a voucher. As far as I can figure, vouchers are totally worthless. You can use them for future flights, but only if you book them at the counter at the airport. So the amount I might save by buying online will be totally negated by buying the ticket at the counter, plus what it costs to drive to the airport. Not to mention the fact that I will be relocating to Tennessee as soon as possible, so a flight from Oklahoma to Tennessee is basically worthless. If anyone wants to use it, let me know. I can give it away, but I have to be at the counter at the time they way to use it.
Meeting more bloggers was sensational. I kept my identity on the down-low, so I'm sorry to those people who wanted to meet me. I was trying to avoid a "byronesque" situation. I did reveal myself to some folks, and I was really happy to meet them. I got to share a smoke-break with Al, and got my copy of "Pressure Poker" autographed by DoubleAs. I got a hug from Veneno and got to see Iggy, Pauly, and Maudie again. A successful trip, with no blogger overload. I definitely think that one of the reasons I made money playing poker on this trip was that I did NOT play with bloggers.
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At first I was feeling guilty for not updating this site for so long, but then I realized that 50% of the people who read this site are here doing other things than reading blogs. (That other thing is drinking.)
Vegas is a blast so far, I'm doing really well in the poker rooms. I'm up for every single sessions so far, which I attribute to an incredible card rush and very little skill. I have saved a few bets here and there when my opponents were doing everything short showing me their cards when they have a big hand, so maybe there is some experience showing.
The Blogger Event was a ton of fun. I was fortunate enough to have one of two pros on my immediate left, putting pressure on me every time I wanted to play a hand. Thanks, Jay Greenspan. Actually it was fun talking with him and he gave me advice on how I could have played a few hands better.
Of course I got knocked out early, but it did take a Royal Flush to beat me. The board showed TQKA of hearts, and I had the Nine. My opponent bet out, and I didn't think anyone would bet out so big with a Royal, so I pushed and got the ultimate Insta-call. I don't know his name (shame on me) but he did have the funniest line of the day..."Speaking of flops, the world cup is on." Nicely done.
Anyway, the insanity continues....I'm off to some poker room somewhere.
When you arrive in Vegas at 10:30pm Vegas time, which is past midnight your time, you have a decision to make. You can sleep, or you can gamble.
Not really a decision, right? KingLucky and I didn't think so. After finding our new digs and dropping off our bags, we headed to the Palms for some late-night poker madness. The only games they had going that late were $2/$4 limit and $4/$8 limit. We sat at the $4/$8 limit, mini blinds, half kill game. Is that confusing enough for you? Big Blind is two dollars, unless you are on a kill, then it's three. The raise is $4, so expect to pay $6 to play. Aggro city, but once I established myself as a rock by actually folding a few hands pre-flop, I could take almost any pot at any time by using the word "raise." One hammer went down in flames when some sucker turned broadway with his AJ. How dare he.
That game broke up around dawn, so we moved to the MGM Grand. My first time at the room, and I can see why some people like it. The only thing that annoyed me was the Rainforest Cafe next door, with their fake thunderstorm. When it's sunny and 102 outside, I don't like hearing fake thunder. It was just barely less annoying than the slot machines at the Wynn harassing you to join their slot club every 30 seconds. The geniuses there actually came up with a way to stop me from playing slots when I didn't want to.
I got a nice card rush at the MGM, made a few lucky draws and doubled my buy-in. Around noon we went to check out the Bellagio but we didn't sit there, the list was too long. We tried the Wynn too, but by the afternoon that place was jammed. It was funny to see the extremely posh surroundings, with some scumbag poker player walking around in flip-flops, dirty sweatpants and a torn T-shirt. At least now I know there's no dress code. Maybe that guy was an eccentric billionaire?
We visited a ton of casinos, and I was most surprised by the fact that they all have card rooms. It used to be the odd casino here and there spread poker, but now almost every single casino, be it rinky-dink or huge resort, spreads some poker. Boom indeed.
At some point I realized that the $2500 WSOP event starts at noon on Friday, and I hadn't slept since Tuesday night, so I insisted we head back to the house. After watching most of a movie got to sleep around 11pm.
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American Airlines, that is.
I was supposed to be typing this from Dallas, waiting for my connection to Las Vegas. Instead American Airlines decides to CANCEL my flight from OKC to Dallas, leaving about a hundred passengers COMPLETELY FUCKED. After waiting in line for an hour American Airlines couldn't do anything for me that would get me a flight into Las Vegas tonight, so I walked down two counters and made a Southwest flight by five minutes. I stopped by the American Counter to get them to give me a refund, and they said "sorry, it's a non-refundable flight." So THEY cancelled the motherfucking flight, but I still have to fucking pay for it!
Let's all get together and start a discount airline. We can offer really cheap flights because we will just CANCEL them all. People will still book them because hey, they're cheap. All the flights will be "non-refundable" so we're talking PURE PROFIT! By the time they catch up to our scam, we'll all be sipping umbrella drinks in some tropical place that doesn't extradite. Please consider it. We'll call it "Hammer Air."
Of course this bullshit couldn't happen on my way BACK from Vegas, where I'd be happy to be stranded. Hell, strand me for a week! I'll pay extra! No, I gotta pay an extra $330 to Southwest and get a useless voucher for a flight from American. I could have booked this flight to begin with, but the American flight was $50 cheaper. I learned my $330 lesson. Fuck American Airlines, spend the extra $50.
Funny part is the Southwest Flight goes through Kansas City, so my connection is the same flight that KingLucky will be on. Think he'll be surprised to see me at the airport? I was supposed to meet him at the rental car counter when his flight got in a couple of hours after mine. Now we are synchronized nicely.
P.S. I know, I'm late with the comic. Gimme a minute...
Go Be Rude would like to welcome two new sponsors to the site!
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