Friday, July 21, 2006

YMBADI5!

You Might Be a Donkey If....you make money from playing poker but you still think it's rigged against you!

Actual quotes from actual donkeys! (Donkeys quotes are in Yellow, my comments are in Red.)


"I started with a $50 bankroll and cashed out more than 22K from pokerstars through years 2 and 3.
I have been playing Hollywood Poker. Scronging around on the .25 PL tables at 6 tables at a time.. total cashout is about $7K.
Although I have cashed out that much money, I have yet to play on a site that I truely believe is legit."


So this guy has made $29,000 from a $50 buy in, yet he thinks all online poker sites are rigged.

"What I mean by professionally is that I make money at it. I really only thought that your a pro if you make money, an amateur if you lose money."

Anyone who makes money at poker is a professional? Sweet, I'm up a nickel, I'm a pro!

"when you play 1200 to 2000 hands a day for several years, you have a vast mental memory of what are legit ups and downs."

Some poeple use "a vast mental memory" others use poker tracker. Who has more credibility?

"i made 22k at pokerstars.. about a year ago, they cut me completely off..what I mean by completely off is, NO MORE WINS... none.."

Never got another winning hand at PokerStars? I've told you a million times never to exaggerate.

"They don't want you to cash out money. They want the money in play. So, they give bad players enough good hands to stay even with the better players. That keeps the money in play, and rakes extracted. It's not an exact science of course, and the best hand doesn't always win."

In my experience the BEST HAND ALWAYS WINS. I doubt he could provide a hand history of a lower hand winning a pot.

"AND WHATEVER YOU DO>> never talk trash about a site in the chat room of the site.. NEVER. thats the fastest way to see your bankroll destroyed..."

They must be monitoring every single chat box at every single of the tens of thousands of tables they run at once. That's a lot of watchin'.

"after being cut off, I spent days playing at every level, pumped a few thousand dollars before I came to the conclusion I did..."

Aha! Your lucky streak came to an end, and suddenly everything is rigged against you. I get it now...

"Do you know how much money it cost to have a bankroll on multiple sites?"

Is this a trick question? Isn't it the total, all added together?

Basically what you are saying is, all online poker is rigged, but you are SO DAMN GOOD AT POKER you can overcome the rigging to make thousands of dollars?


"I am saying that although it is rigged, dumbasses will always find a way to lose..."

We agree on that, we just disagree on who the dumbass really is...

11 comments:

Pokerwolf said...

So this guy has made $29,000 from a $50 buy in, yet he thinks all online poker sites are rigged.

Well, of course they are! He LOST some hands when he should be winning all the time!

Where the hell do you find these people, Duggle?

katitude said...

Excellent post Duggle; I needed the giggle this morning!

Wes said...

I liked this argument...

paranoi is one thing.. but I've documented spells of more than 1300 hands in a row without a win on pokerstars.. also.. on the ongame network.. I have documented a 3% win perc. over 10k hands, with a flop % of 38.

those numbers are mathematically impossible..

Bloody P said...

Dude,

I've read Harrington, Brunson, Gordon, etc. and I'm STILL down about $4 in my Stars account.

So friggin' rigged.

The fact that I was fairly drunk and dropped two buy-ins has nothing to do with it.

That shit is R-I-G-G-E-D

doubleas said...

i've met this person in real life - well at least a number of people from his family

dlk9s said...

What's missing is the kicker:

This dude signed up for the free $50 at Titan poker through PSO's Instant Bankroll. Two weeks ago.

actyper said...

I did offer this guy the cure to online riggedness though!

KGBlovesOreos said...

haha, your red/yellow posts are always good for 1000 laughs...

slb159 said...

Ahhh, that soothes my YMBADI craving.

""Do you know how much money it cost to have a bankroll on multiple sites?"

Is this a trick question?"

LOL

Drizztdj said...

"Never got another winning hand at PokerStars? I've told you a million times never to exaggerate."

This is comedy gold. Well stated sir.

StudioGlyphic said...

Funny shit. I think it's been a while since I've seen the tinfoil chatter.