Friday, April 29, 2005

Welcome to Oklahoma, Land of Intolerance

Yesterday started out so nicely. I took the morning off from work so I could finish some articles that I promised to have done LAST MONDAY. They were coming along smoothly and effectively. They really are more propaganda than literature, but hey, that's what they are paying for. I got two-thirds of the way through what I needed when I got beeped on my nextel from my customer. Turns out all hell is breaking loose at work, so I need to head in immediately. It's noon and I still haven't eaten yet, so I'm desperate for some food. I drive by a BK, and bang, they've closed down the joint. I go another block to McD and there's a line around the fricking block. I don't have that kind of time, so I head to the office.

My coworkers are droning around in their usual zombie-like state. "Do you guys realize the network is down?" I ask. "Somebody's working on it," they reply. Great. Why am I the only one who has the customer ripping into me like a monkey on a cupcake? So after "somebody" gets nowhere, I dive in, basically cracking the whip on those who are supposed to care and don't. And after seven hours of troubleshooting, the problem is essentially solved. All except for the system of one guy who has turned off every phone he owns because he doesn't want to get called on his Birthday. Selfish prick.

I've got the low blood sugar shakes at this point, so I stop in a regional fast food chain to get a burger. The guy waiting for his food before me has his back to the wall, so I don't see his shirt until he takes his seat in a nearby booth facing away from me. His shirt PUBLICLY RIDICULES my beliefs. What a fucking shithead. To actually BUY A SHIRT that ridicules what someone believes. He is so fucking insecure in his faith that he has to declare anyone that believes differently a "fool." If he's so FUCKING SURE he's right about his religion, then WHY THE FUCK is it called "faith?"

I'm not positive about this, but I'm pretty sure if I wore a T-shirt that ridiculed his faith, I'd be shot by one of these fundamentalist motherfuckers with a deer rifle.

When I left the restaurant, thoroughly pissed off, he looked at me through the window and I shot him the bird. I'm sure he had no idea why. Stupid self-righteous fuck.

The only thing I am intolerant about is intolerance. I am an absolute moral relativist. The only people I think are immoral are moralizers. Fuck them. Their shit is just as fucked up as everyone else's, they just think something or someone gives them the right to tell everyone else they're fucked up.

Especially those religious fuckers. That's why the world loves it when Jimmy Swaggert gets busted with another hooker, and Jim Bakker gets exposed as a total scumbag. Because DEEP DOWN we KNOW they are fuckers, and it's nice to be proven right once in a while.

1 comment:

StudioGlyphic said...

"I shot him the bird. I'm sure he had no idea why."

That's hilarious, man.