Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Poker Comic #77

Sponsored by Free Poker Money at

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The WPBT is NOT Schrodinger's Cat

Last week I was lucky enough to be in the offices of the WPBT, and I dropped in on the current President/CEO to ask him about the state of affairs. He seemed very upset and under a large amount of stress, probably caused by the fact that THE WPBT DOESN'T EXIST, NOR IS THERE A PRESIDENT/CEO.

Schrodingers CatThe WPBT was created as a joke name for a bunch of goofballs who wanted to get together and throw some cards around, exchange an insignificant amount of cash, and most of all try to put each other on tilt by dropping the hammer as much as possible. The overall consensus was that the point of the WPBT events was to HAVE FUN. PERIOD.

As with any organized or disorganized event, there are people that are unhappy with the way things are organized, or unhappy with the lack thereof. But the overall theme, that these were NOT SERIOUS POKER GAMES was almost universally agreed upon.

But the saying is true, you cannot please all of the people all of the time. Somebody must have decided that people were not taking the WPBT games seriously enough. Maybe they had the hammer dropped on them one too many times by someone who didn't give a shit if they got knocked out on the first hand. (I plead guilty your honor!)

So they decided that they would start tracking the results of the WPBT games, awarding points to those who finish high in the events. As far as I know there is no prize associated with this "Player of the Year" tracking, but the assumption seems to be that if people are being tracked and the results are displayed publicly, the players would start playing more seriously. Some people seem to care about POY standings, some don't.

So you have a situation where some players in the field are playing seriously, while others are just having fun, playing wilty-tilty. The serious players try to ruin it for the fun-lovers, and the crazy/tilters are trying to ruin it for the Serious Sams/Samanthas. Just what you want in a poker event, isn't it?

What's worse is that POY points are not just awarded for WPBT events. They have been available for other tournaments, like the DADI events. But not all DADI events. What determines if another tournament like a DADI qualifies for POY point status? Nobody knows. It seems dependent upon whether the person who organizes the POY standings is available to play in the DADI event.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

eh, why not?

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476

Texas Holdem Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476

How I wish...

I picked a good time to be away from Oklahoma, even if it is Memorial Day weekend. The Senior PGA Championship is going on right now at Oak Tree Country Club in Oklahoma. It happens to be three blocks from my house.

pgaPoor Mrs. Bogey can't even get out of our driveway due to the closed roads and unreal traffic situation. Basically she has to hunker down and wait for the storm of people to die down. Something you're used to in Oklahoma, only usually it's wind.

Speaking of wind, I don't recall watching golf events on television where they say "It looks like he read it correctly, but he didn't factor in the WIND on his PUTT." Welcome to Oklahoma, fellas.

One nice thing about having the tournament so close is that all the cruddy businesses on the street have cleaned up their acts, getting new signage and actually removing most of the rusted out old cars in their driveways.

There has also been a ton of new construction within a few miles of my little bit of acreage, so it's pretty obvious that the value of my property is on the verge of an explosion. Fortunately I should be selling just before I get any of the benefit. I will have owned it for three years in September, to which I will not make it. It still has increased in value, hopefully just enough to cover the realtor fees. I may get to keep the pennies in equity you actually get when you pay your mortgage payment every month. Woohoo!

Still looking for comparable houses here in Tennessee. I have found some land I love with houses I hate, and some houses I love on land that I hate. I know what you're construction. You really shouldn't be thinking of that, you fool! Have you priced lumber lately? Due to Hurricane Katrina, construction prices have gotten totally unreasonable. For a decent sized house you are looking at a quarter of a million dollars in construction costs, and that doesn't even include the land.

I can't reconcile that with all the new construction around my old house in OK. I guess they started the development before the Hurricane, and were past the point of no return. Good luck to those investors. Real Estate is such a scam.

Friday, May 26, 2006

If you can't laugh at yourself...

You probably shouldn't be blogging.

If your last three blog posts in a supposed POKER blog are:

1)An American Idol Recap
2)The story of how you set up a barbie blog for a little girl
3)An angry post about someone's instructions on how to get over a breakup

You have the gayest blog ever. You in fact DO have Big Gay Nuts!

There. I went somewhere else. HERE!

(Since all blogs are gay, I think "gayest blog ever" might actually be a compliment. I'll have to check a math book or something.)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I'm sure most of you know this already but the program RBCalc.exe, also known as Rakeback calculator, was actually a Trojan. The program actually installed executables on your system to steal your account information in an attempt to rip you off.

The sad part is that you really can't trust any poker related program you download. Hell, online poker is so popular these days, you need to be careful of non-poker related software you install. If you are going to install some software, make sure it's from a company you can trust.

In this spirit I'd like to welcome back to my advertisers. This is software that you can trust that will actually improve your play. Pokerbility is a poker odds calculator that instantly calculates the odds of your current hand, giving you a clear picture and recommendation of what you should do in real time, according to the calculated probabilites between you and your opponent.

If you are sincerely interested in improving your game, you might think about giving Pokerbility a try. You can get it free by signing up at Titan Poker, Doyle's Room, Noble Poker or of course, Party Poker.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Poker Comic #76

Sponsored by Free Poker Money at

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Monday, May 22, 2006

Nice to be Home

It's nice to be home for the weekend....kind of a long weekend since I will be in Tennessee over Memorial Day.

Not a lot of time for poker and blogging unfortunately, since we are getting the house ready to sell. The temperature has been around or above 100 every day I've been home, so it makes me anxious to move to the more comfortable climes of the Tennessee hills.

I will be back in the hotel bored tomorrow night, so hopefully I can serve up a steaming pile of hate that usually fills this blog.

For a more detailed report of the now infamous "home game" last weekend, check out TeeDubb's blog which I didn't even know existed until today. He's the cool guy next to my double chin in the picture.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Pure Genius

Have you ever been reading along an average ordinary blog, and come across the most brilliant thing you've ever read? Something so astoundingly incredible that it almost takes your breath away with it's beauty and simplicity?

This happened to me. I'm reading THG's post responding to TripJax's questions and, for absolutely no reason he throws out this:

The only poker camp I'd ever pay

to go to would be run by Iggy.

This has got to become a reality. It just has to.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

UK casinos guide, online casinos for UK players.

Go Be Rude has a new advertiser, for those of you that like to chase Online Casino bonuses, please check them out! Great for casino whoring! is one of the original UK online casino review sites dating back to 2000. CasinoChoice’s aim is to provide recommended UK casinos, the best online casinos offering great incentives, and the optimum strategies to use when playing them.

There are a few online casinos operating in UK pounds, the best of which are listed on CasinoChoice. All of their approved UK casinos are safe and trusted.

Asked and Answered

I’m not going to answer TripJax’s questionnaire. I’m going to reply to Jordan’s answers to TripJax’s questionnaire. Jordan's answers are in yellow, my response is in red.

1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table? I'm going to offer two answers. The first is playing too scared. You have to be willing to be aggressive. The second, which is related, is playing outside of your bankroll. You are going to take swings, and you have to be able to live through them. Those are good answers, but I’d have to add making poor bet amounts based on pot size/bet size/stack size.

2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table? Playing Limit at all. Yuck yuck yuck! Actually, I'm going to say adjusting to table conditions appropriately. It's very easy to tighten up when players are loose, but sometimes you are better off loosening up pre-flop to hit your monsters and get paid off. People who claim to hate limit expose themselves as poor poker players. Almost every genuinely profitable poker player I know plays limit. Almost everyone I know who plays no-limit exclusively is just dreaming about that big WSOP score in the future someday, as they piss away buy-in after buy-in at the $25 tables. When I was playing more seriously, (i.e. just for the money) I played limit poker in ring games almost exclusively. NL was for tourneys. There are obvious exceptions, but if someone claims they don't like a game, it's usually because they suck at it.

3. Why do you play poker? Because I can not Not play poker. I love the challenge, I love the game, and I love the fact that I can win money. Jordan needs a 12-step program. I play poker for one and only one reason. To have fun. I am in it for the entertainment value only. But the money is a nice side effect.

4. If you weren't playing poker, what would you be doing? Probably watching some bad television. Maybe doing some art. Probably Counter-Strike or some other online game full of cheaters and other losers.

5. What is your favorite poker book and why? Let's go with Caro's Book of Poker Tells, mostly because it is an interesting idea for a book and the pictures (from the 70s by the looks of the players) are hysterical. There is also a lot of good info in there, and many players haven't read it, as opposed to the Bible, Super/System. The real reason Super System is called “The Bible” is because it’s just like the real Bible. Very few people have actually read it, and of those, almost nobody understood it.

6. Who is your favorite poker player and why? Hmm. I have a lot of respect for Phil Ivey because he is just so damn quiet and intimidating. I will never have the quietness, but I want the intimidation part. Marcel Luske is my favorite, despite the retarded sunglasses thing.

7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why? I don't really dislike any of them. Pussy. I dislike Scott Fischman because he’s a total douche bag.

8. Do your coworkers know about your blog? Actually, one of them does. I came out of the Blog Closet last week. Let's hope the person knows how to keep things quiet. I'm confident that he/she can. (I use ambivalent words so that if the Powers that Be do indeed know about this site, no one else will be implicated.) A few of my coworkers know about it, but don’t read regularly because if you’re not a poker player or a blogger, my blog is horrendously boring. Maybe even if you are.

9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)? In a cash game, I won $650 at a 1/2 table. In an MTT, I placed 4th/1008 and won $650 also. I think the biggest single pot I won was around $500, and I have won $1250 in an MTT.

10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)? I have lost somewhere to the tune of $350 or so, I think, live on one day, but it was part of a several day trip that saw me lose over $500. I lost $400 playing $3/$6 Limit once, that’s probably the biggest losing day proportionally.

11. Who was your first poker blog read? The Intrepid Card Player, although he is no longer blogging. My first was Grubby, because he did D.C. restaurant reviews and I grew up around there.

12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot? Always the bluff. It's easy with Aces. [insert copyright symbol here] I need an “It’s easy with aces” T-shirt!

13. Why do you blog? Because of page rank. But really, because it gives me an opportunity to think and discuss poker when I am not able to play. As time has passed, it has also offered me a myriad of opportunities, like being invited to the All-In premiere party and meeting people to have a home game with. Those are the best perks to this hobby. I blog because it’s an outlet for me to try to be entertaining and funny for a few minutes. Also because I am an attention whore

14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog? I visit each blog, because, mostly, I think it is more personal and I can get a feel for a writer's personality by the site's design. I use bloglines, because it’s just way too much to read individually. I go to the site to leave comments. I love to comment, but not as much as Drizz.

15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living? Tricky one. My goal is to make the same amount doing both. Once a lawyer, always a lawyer. Hell No. Poker is way too tough a way to make an easy living.

16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion? No, but I have a cowboy hat that I will not wear in public. I wear a beaten up old PokerSourceOnline hat, because it is 17% more effective than tinfoil for preventing bad beats.

17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player? An innate intelligence. Broad enough for you? A huge fucking bankroll.

18. Is Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas? Absolutely! I'm going to name my future kid Craps, and take the title of coolest person. Middle name will be Double-Zero. Nope! Maybe if he made it her first name. Girls can give up their middle name when they get married, so she has outs.

19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it? Primary? I guess to earn the same amount of money playing as I do working. I'm not close yet. Other goals are to win $2400 this year and to play in a WSOP event. What did I say about NL players? My primary goal is to have fun, and I accomplish that almost every time.

20. What is your primary online site and why? Noble/Titan, I guess. I move around a lot, but I've always liked their games. Ask me again tomorrow, and I’ll have a different answer.

21. What site do you dislike and why?, for making me waste time on this post. Oh, you mean online poker site? Hollywood Poker. They can SUCK IT! Why? Because I can't seem to win there. Poker Sites are like my children. I hate them all equally.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Poker Comic #75

Sponsored by Free Poker Money at

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Requests for details about the weekend.

For details about this weekend, see this post.

and I wrote this in comments here:

"I can die now. A picture of me has appeared in the Tao of Pauly!

In the last picture of the bottle of "Jose Cuervo Especial" I am the double chin on the left in the gray shirt with the medium stack of red chips and the half bottle of statutory rape juice in front of him."

stolen from pauly

Okay, so it's not like I'm a featured player in the picture, but I'm in there dammit! Have you ever been in a Pauly Picture? So there!

Oh, and the reason I'm just wearing a plain grey T-shirt is that I sold my flowery/girly/mom's drapes Poker Shirt to Iggy for $5. I needed the money!

At least I can say I went to a blogger game and lost my shirt!

Picture used without permission of Major League Baseball or Pauly.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Totally Unsolicited

Wolves Can Shuffle Cards

I thought PokerWolf might like a banner for the top of his blog, so I thought I'd do it first before I asked him if he wanted it. Fire me an email if you want the full size one Wolf.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Holy Shit Dude




What a blast.

Home Game + Bloggers + Tequila + Waffle House = I may never recover.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Bloggers Championship I am registered to play in the
Online Poker Blogger Freeroll
Win your share of $25,000 and a set
of Nevada Jacks poker chips.
Hosted By: Absolute Poker
Sponsored By: Poker Source Online
Registration Code: 19451479

Go to Poker Source Online for more info and to sign up. The minimum prize pool right now is $5000, but if we get enough bloggers (dead money) involved, it could go up to $25K. There's also $1000 added in gift certificates for Nevada Jacks Poker Chips.

There is no cost to play in this, you just have to be a legitimate blogger and have an account at Absolute Poker so you can play. That's it. It doesn't even have to be a poker blog.

You'd be amazed at the folks that try to fake their way into this. One guy created a blog and faked the dates to say he signed up months ago. The only problem with his scheme was that according to his blog he registered in February for the tourney which wasn't announced until March, and according to, his blogger account was created in April. Nicely done.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Enough is Enough

That seals it:

I am officially boycotting The Most Pointless Blog In The Universe

In other news...

I signed up and started playing at World Poker Exchange last night. There are things I like about the interface, especially that they don't have that stupid "wooshing" sound when the cards are dealt. The overlay in the multis is fantastic, and the play is donkey-rific.

I always thought the most serious flaw in a rake-free poker site would be that the players would have to be more savvy to be interested in a rake-free system. Playing with more savvy players seemed like a -EV idea to me.

But I neglected the "donkey factor." Fish will always be fish, blissfully ignorant. The donkey is a much more desirable opponent, because most donks THINK they are good players, but actually they are worse than the fish, because they keep rebuying and rebuying and rebuying...Fish are more likely to be calling stations, and while a nice calling station can fill up your pockets occasionally, there's nothing like a chip spewing maniac that raises with nothing at the slightest sign of weakness to double your stack on a hit-and-run.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Happy Lappy

The new hard drive is installed in the Laptop, and everything is hunky dory.

I plan on starting the Titan Poker promotion at Poker Source Online tonight, along with signing up at World Poker Exchange.

I don't know if anyone has any affiliate deals with WPEX, but if you want a free referral, now's the time to speak up!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Poker Comic #74

Sponsored by Free Poker Money at

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Monday, May 08, 2006

The Fuck You Know...

PokerSourceOnline has some really great new deals going on I should mention to those who signed up via my links.

They've added PokerShare, replacing The Gaming Club Poker, who basically increased their bonus requirements to be completely unreasonable for the smaller players. Their prerogative of course, but they lost PSO's business because of it. PokerShare used to be part of the same network as Ultimate Bet, but they offered such a better deal that they were stealing a large chunk of UB's customers. So now they are on a different network, and I hear the games are good. I would do this promotion next, except that...

Titan Poker has become too difficult to pass up. They've reduced the requirements to complete the PSO bonus by HALF, and if you sign up before the end of June you get a piece of Mike J's action in TWO events at the WSOP this year. Last year he did a similar promotion and he moneyed in the $3000 NL holdem event. Everyone who signed up for the promotion last year got a nice piece of change, on top of normal PSO promotion and the bonus directly from the poker room. That's like triple dipping.

This year you have at least twice as much chance, because Mike J is offering two events, plus most members have done the Titan Promotion already, or took advantage of the Free Money at Titan Poker promo. You can sign up and get the Nevada Jacks chips or 9000 PSO points bonus, get the deposit bonus from Titan Poker (which is pretty damn good) and hopefully get a nice cash from one or both of the WSOP events. If he wins one or both, this could be worth THOUSANDS.

As soon as I get some problems with my laptop worked out (hard drive is DYING!) I will be signing up for this deal. Until then, here's a clip I like from every poker player's favorite and most hated movie:


Friday, May 05, 2006

How to look like a giant pussy

Want to know the best way to look like a great big pussy?

Call someone an asshole. But don't actually have the balls to call them an asshole. Instead, spell it "a**hole."

If you don't have the balls to actually type the word out, then you aren't man enough to use the word. Is there some kind of internet censorship division of the government that I don't know about?

Same thing to all the comments I'm reading where people are saying "Eff 'em." Eff? If you want to say "FUCK 'EM" FUCKING SAY "FUCK 'EM" you gigantic vagina!

You are not on the fucking radio, the FCC is not going to knock down your door for saying the word "FUCK" on the internet. If you are embarrased by the words, don't allude to them, use different words. Say "Screw them" or "You're a jerk." It obviously doesn't carry the same weight, but you don't look like a female sex organ.


Tourney: WWdN:Not

Hero: ~T1400
Vixen: ~T1000

Hole Cards:
Hero: ATs (button)
Vixen: XX (UTG)


Vixen Bets T150
Hero Raises All-in
Vixen Calls

Vixen shows: 72o

Heard in Yahoo Voice Chat from Hero:





Vixen wins pot of ~T2000.

Best Part?

BiggestWhiner was at the table.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Things I hate about blogs

Since I have criticized blogs in my blog for criticizing blogs, which in itself is a contradiction, I will now further contradict myself by telling you what you shouldn't blog. Keep in mind, this is simply advice, and that advice is coming from a blogger who sucks.

Posting song lyrics is the lowest form of blogging. It barely even counts as blogging if you are a 14 year-old girl, but if you are an adult doing it, stop. Maybe when you were fourteen this was all you knew about the world since you hadn't actually experienced any of it. If you are an adult, give me your persepctive, not the words of some hack songwriter as performed by multi-millionaire pop star. A quote to emphasize your view or explain your inspiration might be okay. If you post a whole song, grow the fuck up.

Stop posting about American Idol. It's bad enough you watch that lame-ass rip-off of Star Search (which was lame-ass too) but admitting it in a public post? You should be ashamed of yourself. Blogging about a TV show in general is pretty shameful. "Here's what someone else is doing creatively while I sit on my ass and do nothing." Poker shows and movie reviews are obvious exceptions, but if your post starts even the teenyest bit like "Can you believe what happened on [insert current fad TV phenomenon] show last night?" then eighty-six that shit.

Stop bitching about blogger eating your posts! You have two choices. Write in another app and copy/paste, or shut up! There is no C option! Also, don't tell us about a post you wrote that you deleted. Either you have the balls to post something or you don't. (Note: I am aware that there is no difference between this and what I did saying I was going to make a "hate" post and then not following through. I have always maintained that this blog sucks.)

Stop advertising tournaments on your blog and not telling the game you are playing. I know that it's a No Limit Holdem world, but some of us really look forward to non-holdem events. You're just teasing us by not saying what game you are playing. Note: Having TWO NLHE events at the same time isn't "changing things up." It's just more of the same shit.

Other than that, the only advice I can give is to stop doing what's not working, and move on to something that hopefully does work for you. There's room for everyone in the blogosphere, and everyone should be happy with what they are doing. And maybe take things just a little less seriously.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Poker Comic #73

Sponsored by Free Poker Money at

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at!. Free Money at Titan Poker! Free Money at Party Poker! No Deposit Required! No Credit Card Required! (New Players Only) Click Here for more info!

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Nyah! Nyah!

Dear Boy Genius

It's a commonly known fact that I have a god given ability to push people's buttons.

Plus, I owed you one for the whole "Faggle Bogey" thing.


If anyone wants to really see me "bring the hate" stay tuned....I gotta actually cool off before I write this next one. If I wrote it right now it would be too mean, even for me.