Friday, June 29, 2007

Poker Comic #148

Sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

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It's a good problem to have, but the amounts in my poker accounts has risen to a level that I'm not comfortable with leaving in online accounts.

I haven't really worried about this problem before, as I trusted poker rooms too much with the responsibility of protecting my money. I'm trying not to make that mistake again, but things are just not as easy as they once were.

If anyone out there has requested a payment by paper check from PokerStars or Full Tilt Poker, could they please leave a comment telling me how long the process took from beginning to end. Please bear in mind that the original deposits were made via Neteller some time ago and I will have to begin from square one. I expect to be especially difficult since I have moved to a new home address since I opened both accounts.

I have been very lazy in my duties to open a new online money transfer option for myself, but I think my procrastination has been in hopes of some "Knight in Shining Armor" coming to my rescue with a perfect solution. None have arrived.

In the meantime, please check out this full tilt poker review, this titan poker review and this party poker bonus. Thanks.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

How to Shoot Craps

Ahhhh....summer reruns:

Craps is a fun game, as evidenced by all the screaming and hollering you hear from an active Craps table in a Casino. Because of odds multipliers, you can really win money fast on a hot table. But you can also lose money fast on a choppy table.

Undoubtedly you have heard that Craps offers some of the best odds in the Casino. While this is true, there's a catch. (There's ALWAYS a catch.) There are good odds on the Craps table, and there are some HORRENDOUS odds. In fact you can make the exact same bet two different ways on a Craps table, and get different odds.

Here's the basic way the game goes. The shooter places a bet on either the pass line or don't pass line and rolls the dice. Everyone else also bets on this roll. The first roll is called the come out. If he rolls a 7 (natural) or an 11 (yo) anyone who placed a bet on the pass line wins even money. Anyone on the don't pass line loses. If he rolls a 2, 3 or 12 (craps) anyone on the pass line loses, and anyone on the don't pass line wins even money (except if it is 12, the don't pass player just pushes.)

If the roll is 4,5,6,8,9 or 10, that becomes the point. The shooter continues to roll until he either rolls the point again, or rolls a 7. If he rolls the number again, the pass line wins and the don't pass loses. If he rolls a 7 first, the don't pass wins and the pass line loses.

Sounds pretty simple, and it is. What complicates things is odds bets. Odds bets are complicated, but they are what makes Craps one of the best values in the Casino.

Once the point is established, the bettor can place odds on his bet. These odds are payed out exactly even with the chance that the number will occur. So if the point is 10, and you have $5 on the pass line, you can place odds bets behind your $5 that pay true odds.

True Odds means that the chance that a 10 will come before a 7 is the multiplier on your bet. Since there are six different ways a 7 can occur, and only three ways a 10 can occur, you get double your money on an odds bet on the 10. If you put $10 odds behind your $5 pass line bet, you will collect $20 for your odds bet, $5 for your pass line bet, plus get your pass and odds bets back.

The same odds can be played on Don't Pass bets, these are called Lay Odds and they pay 1 to 2 on a 10. If you have $5 on the Don't Pass and back it with $10 Lay odds and a 7 is rolled before a 10 occurs, you win $5 for your Lay Odds bet, $5 for your Don't Pass bet and you get your don't pass and odds bets back.

To figured the odds on other numbers, figure the number of times it can occur on two six-sided dice and divide six by that number. On Pass bets, for 6 or 8, you get 1.4 times your bet. For 5 or 9 you get 1.5 times your bet. Don't pass bets are just the opposite.

To make matters more complicated, you can make a bet EXACTLY like a pass line bet AFTER the point has been established, by placing a Come bet. If you put money into the come area, it works exactly like a Pass Line bet, winning on a 7 or 11, losing on 2,3 or 12. Otherwise, the shooter must hit the number again before he rolls a 7. You can make odds bets on these Come bets, just like a pass line bet.

Don't Come bets are exactly the opposite. You are betting the shooter will roll a seven before he hits the come number again. Odds work the same as Don't Come odds.

The amount of odds you can take on a pass line or come bet is determined by the Casino, and is displayed on every Craps table on a placard that says "Max Odds = x" Some limit it to 2 or 3x odds, many allow up to 10x, and I have seen some that allow up to 100x odds. Since these bets have NO house advantage, it is recommended to bet as much on odds as you can afford.

There are many other bets on the Craps table, and almost all of them are bad bets.

One that isn't too bad is the place bet on the 6 or 8. While true odds pay 1.4 to 1 on 6 or 8, place bets pay less(1.166 to 1). So instead of getting paid $7 on a $5 odds bet, you will have to bet $6 to win $7 on the place bet. That difference is the house edge.

You can also BUY true odds on a number bet, which is recommended for the 4 or 10. For $1 per $20 bet, you can buy true odds. That $1 fee is the house edge.

Other bets, such as the Field, the big 6 or big 8, the hardways and the hop bets, are sucker bets. All bets placed in the middle are sucker bets, especially the Any Craps, Any Seven or Eleven bets. The house edge is huge, and these bets should be avoided.

The Big 6 and Big 8 are examples of bets that can be played different ways that pay different amounts. If you put $6 on the Big 8 and it hits, you win $6. But if you place the exact same $6 on the 8 and it hits, you win $7. Same bet, different payout.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Poker Comic #147

Sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Monday, June 25, 2007

Overheard at an Airport

While walking through the George Bush Houston Intercontinental Airport, (seriously, that's the name) I overheard parts of two conversations that both made me laugh.

Woman who was obviously tired of waiting for her husband to catch up:

"I know I thought I would like being married to a man more laid back, but CLEARLY I was mistaken."

Early 20's girl whose mother grabs her blouse by the shoulder and adjusts it so that it shows a bit less cleavage:
"Why not, I paid for them...well, actually my ex-husband did."

Sunday, June 24, 2007

$25NL at Pstars

I'm aware that there are folks out there that laugh at me for playing within my bankroll, but "taking shots" can also be interpreted as "pulling a Waffles." Besides, those people are judgmental assholes and we don't want to be friends with them anyway, do we?

Anyway, my roll allows me to play comfortably at the $25NL tables at PokerStars, and I have to recommend the 6-max games if you like players who wait until you've made your hand before they go all-in.


What an Asshole

Miami Donk said:

For instance, the hammer is, what I like to say so 2004. It's outdated, its a bad joke, and it's just not funny anymore. Do those of you who play it still get a kick out of turning over the hammer and showing everyone how smooth you are? Are those of you at the table impressed by someone else doing it, thinking wow he or she is smooth for playing the worst possible starting hand. I think what a jackass, I can't wait until all those chips get spewed across the table and I sure hope I get my share.

PokerNews reported:

Dr. Pauly Drops The Hammer at the WSOP

Paul McGuire raised to 700 from the button and the big blind called. The flop was {K-Hearts}{Q-Clubs}{3-Spades}. The big blind checked, McGuire bet 1,500 and the big blind called. The turn was the {6-Clubs}. McGuire fired out another 2,000 and the big blind folded.

McGuire showed {2-Hearts}{7-Spades}, a.k.a. "The Hammer" and dragged the pot with his bluff. He was up to 10,500 after the hand.


Fuck you, Donk, and everything you stand for.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Hasta La Vista

It's 5:45 am and I'm in San Luis Potosí México waiting for my flight through Houston back to Nashville. The only flights out of this place are ungodly early, and the tiny airport is packed full of people trying to get home for the weekend.

I only took three pictures while I was here.

The first one was the scary small plane that flew here from Dallas:


The second was the plant construction in the rain from the trailer where the planning meetings took place:


And the third was from my hotel room window this morning at 4am when I had to get up and check out of the hotel in order to make it to the airport on time:


As you can see all these pictures only excuse is that it rained pretty much the entire time I was here. One local coworker had to head home because he got a call that said his house was floating away. I'm not sure if that description was literal or not...I've seen some houses here that could possibly become buoyant.

It looks like I can do most of the work that needs to be done back in Tennessee, and I won't have to return to Mexico until August 1st, but at that point I will probably stay through the end of September, two weeks at a time.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Poker Comic #146

Sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I lika da pichers

As many of you readers know, I love to use pictures in my blog. It breaks up the text, gives an overall better looking blog, and damnit, looks great with the black background.

I lot of bloggers really know how to use pictures to make their blogs look really great, but Scott Adams over at his Dilbert Blog went way over the top today.

scott adams

Read today's post if you want to see a day in the life of an absurdly successful cartoonist.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Poker Comic #145

Sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Monday, June 18, 2007

Trading SoCo for Tequila


Well Wilmington Delaware isn't going to happen. So I am off to central Mexico on Wednesday afternoon. Sorry Al, it would have been a blast to spend some time with you. As soon as I saw how close Atlantic City was I should have known that destination wasn't in the cards. (Get it?)

At least I'm only heading down there for a one day meeting to begin with. Hopefully I will be able to grab as much work as I can and bring it back here to get done. International travel is so tedious. I feel like I spend most of the time in airports waiting in line to wait in line to wait in line.

The hotel advertises high speed internet so hopefully I can send a post or two from there.

Thursday, June 14, 2007



I missed the Mookie last night (part of my plan to maintain my high average finish numbers) because I went sailing on Percy Preist Lake in Nashville with a friend of mine.

It was really beautiful. Even though it was around 90 degrees out there was a nice cooling breeze (as long as we weren't sailing directly with the wind) that made it pretty comfortable.

Sailing just seems a lot classier (and more complicated) than power boating. Very relaxing, although there are small bits of hard work. I enjoyed it very much. Hopefully next time we go out I will bring a camera and have some evidence of how beautiful and peaceful it is.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Poker Comic #144

Sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


sopranos finaleHave you noticed that all the people who are upset about the Sopranos finale have a high correlation with those people who are obsessed with Paris Hilton?

There's a reason for that.

Those people are fucking MORONS.

paris hilton mugshotThe Series Finale of the Sopranos was absolutely brilliant. I wasn't able to watch it Sunday night so I had to DVR it and watch it on Monday, which was challenging because I had to dodge everyone who wanted to talk about it or blog about it. So I avoided all media until I could see the show for myself.

I couldn't have been more pleased with the ending. Because it wasn't an ending. Everything wasn't tied up in a neat little package for everyone to KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. The show has always striven to be true-to-life, and coming to a solid conclusion is not how life works. If this upsets you, then you probably have control issues with YOUR life and you need to work on letting go.

Then there was the little "fuck you" at the end where they went to black for 11 seconds, so all those "I have to know how everything works out" people can have a heart attack, imagining that they have somehow missed something.

Maybe they can use those eleven seconds to switch over to CNN (!) and get the latest on Paris Hilton.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Radley Balko testified before the House Financial Services Committee on June 8, 2007 on the issue of Internet gambling. The following is the transcript of his prepared testimony.

Mr. Chairman, distinguished members of the committee: My name is Radley Balko. I’m a senior editor with Reason magazine and a former policy analyst for the Cato Institute. I’ve spent a good deal of my time writing on civil liberties issues, including the problems associated with the prohibition of victimless crimes. I want to commend Chairman Frank for his work defending individual freedom, and I thank the committee for inviting me to testify today.

The Unlawful Internet Gaming Act was passed under rather dubious circumstances. It passed the U.S. Senate on the last day of Congress, late at night, with no floor debate, after being attached to an unrelated port security bill.

My problems with how the bill passed, however, are beside the point. Let’s get down to the crux of this issue, Mr. Chairman: What Americans do in their own homes with their own money on their own time is none of the federal government’s business. Take online poker, by far the most popular form of online gambling.

Poker has enjoyed a surge in popularity over the last several years. The game is about as mainstream and uniquely American as baseball. Poker evolved from similar card games in the early 1800s, then flourished in popularity on Mississippi’s riverboats, winning over such iconic American aficionados as Mark Twain.

Today, most daily newspapers have a poker column, including the New York Times. The game saturates cable television. Until recently, even several of the Supreme Court justices held a monthly poker game.

Online poker is merely a new evolution of the game, similar to the way Civil War poker games introduced the straight, and gave us variations like draw and stud poker. The Internet merely removes the geographic barrier preventing those who love the game from finding opponents of similar skill who are willing to wager similar amounts of money.

No one is hurt when two or more consenting adults sit down for a game of poker, be it online or in person. Why any of this should be of concern to the federal government is rather perplexing. I respect the fact that many Americans—and many members of Congress—may have moral objections to gambling, online or otherwise. To them, I’d say, simply, “don’t gamble, then.”

But in a nation where Las Vegas is one of our fastest growing cities and most popular tourist destinations, where Indian casinos are commonplace, where horse racing is a national past time, and where nearly every state in the union derives public funds from state lotteries, singling out Internet gambling for prohibition seems arbitrary and, frankly, hypocritical.

Yes, it’s possible a parent could bet away their family’s savings, or their child’s education fund in an online poker game. They could also fritter that money away on eBay. Or on booze. Or fancy cars and exotic travel.

These are all personal decisions, of course. And if a free society means anything, it means we should have the freedom to make bad choices, in addition to good ones. The ban on Internet gambling punishes the millions of Americans who were wagering online responsibly due to anecdotal evidence of a few who may do so irresponsibly. It’s an affront to personal responsibility, and symptomatic of a Nanny Statist government that treats its citizens like children. A government based on the principle of liberty doesn’t police the personal lives of its citizens for bad habits, at any level, much less at the federal level.

Supporters of a ban on Internet gambling say the industry is unregulated, that money wagered and lost leaves the United States, and that all of these offshore gaming sites are ripe for money laundering and similar criminal enterprises.

But these are all problems wrought not by consenting adults’ decision to gamble, but by the government’s decision to prohibit gambling.

Were Congress to give its blessing to legalized online gambling, I’d suggest you’d soon see brand names like Harrah’s, MGM, and Trump immediately enter the market.

Reputable offshore brands like FullTilt poker and PartyPoker would almost certainly incorporate in the U.S. and subject themselves to U.S. market regulation and government oversight.

These companies want to win the trust of their customers. And they want to operate in a business environment that respects the freedom of contract and adheres to the rule of law.

Customers want to know that they’re playing a fair game, that their bankrolls are secure, and that their privacy is protected. Companies that set up shop in the U.S. with the blessing and encouragement of the U.S. government will almost certainly dominate the market. Winnings could be taxed. Market forces and—if necessary—the federal government could regulate and monitor gaming sites for fairness and transparency.

Most importantly, if online gambling were decriminalized, the federal government could get out of the trivial business of breaking up online poker games, and federal law enforcement officials and federal prosecutors could expend scarce taxpayer-funded resources on more appropriate endeavors, like pursuing interstate fraud, theft, and protecting the country from terrorism.

In closing, the Unlawful Internet Gaming Act is a significant and disturbing encroachment on individual liberty. I’d urge the committee to correct this overreach, and let Americans do as they please within the privacy their own homes.

Radley Balko is a senior editor for reason.

Friday, June 08, 2007


Since the third anniversary of Go Be Rude is this month, I thought it might be an appropriate time to thank some of those people that I've encountered since this ill conceived idea began.

I want to thank Iggy for making me feel like one of the group from the very start, impossible as that task may be. Iggy goes out of his way to make you feel special, and that's pretty special. He's a good friend who takes an interest in your opinions, even when he fervently disagrees with them.

I want to thank Pauly for treating me like one of the cool kids, lauging at my jokes and sharing a good time, even though I'm really a stick-in-the-mud. I'm not the party type, but Pauly went to great lengths to make me feel like I belonged even though I was very out of my element. I also want to thank Pauly for giving blog writers something to aspire to. Some people are one in a million, Pauly is one in a BILLION.

I want to thank Double As for making me feel like part of his book, by letting me do the cover art. I had no idea it was the cover I was working on, I just thought it was some goofy illustration. I'm glad it turned out so great and I loved reading the book. Thanks for the autographed copy and all the good information in it.

I want to thank GaryC for being a good guy. I don't know that I've met another poker player that's as deep down a good guy as Gary. Just being around Gary makes you feel like a good guy. He's a fantastic host who made me feel welcome even though I couldn't give him the time he deserved for doing such a great job with Okie-Vegas.

I want to thank Maudie for making Oklahoma seem more like my kind of place when I was there. I didn't know there were that kind of people in Oklahoma, and I felt a lot better about the place after meeting Maudie. Along with Gary, she made Oklahoma a much more bearable place for me.

I want to thank Life's A Grind for having a blast with me in my donkey games on the poker cruise. I know I dragged him into a few games that he didn't want to play in, but those games were certianly a lot more fun because he was in them. The cruise was a lot more fun because he was there.

I want to thank Steeler Josh and TripJax for the laughs at Okie-Vegas, putting up with me at the poker tables in Oklahoma even though I was being my usual donkey self. I'm sure I will run into Josh again (probably an airport) and hopefully I will see Jax again at Tunica in July.

I want to thank Felicia for making me feel like I'm only the second most hated poker blogger. No, seriously, I want to thank her for being understanding and actually asking for my opinion and treating me like I have something valuable to say.

I want to thank BG and THG for welcoming me to Michigan for the few weeks while I was there, and for making me feel like a friend. Thanks guys for a great day of poker and racing at the track, it really made Michigan seem like it would have been a better opportunity if I had ended up there.

I want to thank Al Can't Hang for being Al, and making me feel welcome if I ever go on the road to Philly. It's still not certain when I will go, it keeps getting delayed and delayed. But I really appreciate the invitation.

I want to thank Veneno for all the heads up action. Being schooled by the queen is worth every penny of the buy ins. Thanks for everything.

I want to thank Daddy for laughing at my jokes and making me feel like I was a funny guy, even though I was actually in the presence of comedy genius.

I want to thank Mike and Michelle Jackness for...well, way too many things to list here. It boggles the mind.

I want to thank DLK9s for the great fun in Vegas and for everything else he does, PSO and otherwise. Thanks Dan.

I want to thank everyone else that I've met through this blog. You've definitely made my life more interesting, if not better, by knowing you. Shame on me for not thanking you by name.

I want to thank everyone who reads this blog on a regular basis, for making me feel like it isn't a total waste of time putting this drivel out a few times a week, even though it really is.


Thursday, June 07, 2007

Unintended Side Effects

Whenever a law is passed, there are unintentional side effects. Sometimes these side effects actually contradict the purpose of the law's intentions.

Take Child-Safety Caps for Prescription Drugs.

In 1972, the FDA passed a law that said all medications were required to have Child-Safety Caps. Obviously this law intended to protect children from taking medications accidentally. But after the law was passed, the incidences of children getting poisoned by medications went UP.

Why? An unintended side effect of the law was that people felt medications didn't need to be kept out of reach of children, because they had "Child Safe" caps. Caps that don't actually keep children out of the bottles. Also, some adults had a difficult time removing the caps, so they just left the bottles open.

There's a similar problem with the UIGEA. The UIGEA doesn't make it impossible or even illegal to play poker online. It just makes it more of a hassle. Those that have a problem gambling won't be stopped by a mere hassle. The only people that are stopped by the UIGEA are the casual players that just like to play some poker for fun and recreation.

Maybe that was their intent, to polarize the game so later they can point at it and say "look, only degenerates that gamble for absurd amounts of money play, so we should shut it down."

But if the intent was to stop people with gambling problems from ruining their lives, this law is nothing but one big unintended side effect.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Poker Comic #143

Sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic presented by Free Poker Money.. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Scumbags Surround Us

Posted on a poker forum I read:

I have an email list of 500,000+ email addresses of real money depositing poker players that I am selling. This list can be used for newsletters, advertising, recruiting new players/members, ect... This list is the perfect thing for you guys out there who own or operate a forum and are looking for new members. Just think if just 1 out of every 1000 people were to join right there you would have 500 new members. Thats 0.1%!!! If you are interested at all or have any questions email me at jonkoslop (at) hotmail dot c o m Thanks
The thing that irks me the most is the
jonkoslop (at) hotmail dot c o m
He's trying to keep his name off spam lists, WHILE HE'S TRYING TO SELL A SPAM LIST!

The nerve.

Here's a favor for ya Jon:

I hope you get spammed until you bleed.

Speaking of Fun Weekly Tournaments

Tonight is the last ever Weekly WWdN tournament at PokerStars. Wil has been unceremoniously excused from Team Pokerstars, so the Weekly Wheatie is ending.

It's time for the tournament to go, since every fucking retard online decides to go to Wil's table and give him shit throughout the tournament. It made the game unbearable if you had chat on, and chatting was the fun part of that tournament, or at least it used to be.

Still Wil has been a fantastic host and I know many of you have had a good time at this tournament.

Lets try to give it a sendoff that it really deserves. If you happen to be at Wil's table, do me a favor and NEVER stop giving the asshole railbirds shit. It's at 8:30PM Eastern Time, password is "monkey."

Stats are Funny


I'm back in the top 10 in the weekly Mookie, even though I've only played in four events this year. $277.50 - $44.00 in entries makes my total winnings $233.50. Even the guy in 2nd place has only won $266.10. If the leaderboard counted actual winnings and not total winnings, I'd be in 6th place just behind Bone_Daddy84 who's only ahead of me by $5.05 in net earnings, and MiamiDon who's only ahead of him by the same $5.05.

Had I not chopped with Zeem and won, I'd be in net second place with ~$311, but if I hadn't chopped and lost (more likely!), I'd be just behind pokerpeaker at 8th place.

Zeem would have nearly twice as much as second place with his $503.70 in actual earnings. The battle for second place between NumbBono and Bayne_s would be very tight with less than $3 separating them. Calculating the standings in this way might make it much more difficult to catch Zeem in the standings.

As for me, the best move would probably be to quit before my donkey luck gives out.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Free Poker Money

Free Poker Money. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Here you get $100, with No Deposit Required and No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Whinefest '07

The 2007 WSOP has only been going on for one weekend and I'm already fed up with all the whining. What a pile of over-privileged assholes.

I'll quote The Poker Shrink:

It will mostly get worked out or semi-fixed but you know everyone is either playing poker or getting paid to work around poker or deal poker or heaven forbid! Write about poker.

Stop your whining. Stop complaining about every little bump in the road; it's a really nice road, enjoy the ride.