Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Field Sobriety

Last Thursday I took the day off work and drove to Talladega to visit my folks. They were in town for the race and might not have a chance to stop at my place so this could be my only chance to see them this year.

I drove down in the morning. Getting up was tough because I've been working the night shift and sleeping late every day. The weather was pleasant though and it's less than 2.5 hours to make the drive.

You know you're driving through Alabama when you stop for gas and there's a couple there walking their pig. I took a photo but I don't have the card reader with me. If I remember I will add it to this post later.

My folks park their RV in the best possible spot at the track in Talladega. You can't see the track because it's banked, but they're a 3 minute walk to their seats. They walk back after the race and sit outside their RV and watch people sit in traffic for 3 hours while 140,000 people try to get out of the parking lot at the same time. They leave the next day in 5 minutes. Pretty slick.

I spent about 5 or 6 hours visiting with the folks then drove back through Alabama and when I crossed into Tennessee I took a back road to my little town. I got pulled over by a small town police officer who said he smelled "the strong odor of alcohol" from my car and asked me to perform a field sobriety test.

It's pretty humiliating standing in front of his squad car with the lights flashing while performing for him. He wanted me to stare at his finger without moving my head as he moved it around. Then he wanted me to touch my fingers to my thumb quickly while counting "one two three four" and "four three two one" as I touched each finger.

I passed his test, which is good because I think the last time I had a drink was the super bowl. I'm paranoid about getting caught drinking and driving because it seems like the goal of the government is to ruin your life if you get caught driving after you've had a drink. I enjoy a drink now and then but if I'm going to drive in the next 12 hours I skip it. I'm almost always going to drive within 12 hours so I almost never drink.

I suspect the "strong alcohol smell" is the cop's bullshit excuse to check every driver he stops. There's no alcohol smell in my car, I asked two people to smell for it after I got stopped. I don't think I've ever had alcohol in that car.

Hopefully it's just an "isolated incident" but I guess it wouldn't be a shock that there are cops around that violate the civil rights of every person they pull over at night. But it's still kind of disappointing.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I'm Done With You

tarantinoWhen people used to ask me "what's your favorite movie," I automatically answered "Reservoir Dogs, and Pulp Fiction is my top five." I still love the films, but I'm done with Quentin Tarantino.

Let's face it: The guy is over. He hasn't done anything great in fifteen years. The last decent thing he did was "Kill Bill" and even that was pretty ordinary unless you're nutty for karate movies and you love to see Daryl Hannah over-act.

The most relevant thing he's done lately is appear on "American Idol." I know he's supposed to be all into "pop culture" and everything, but honestly... crap is crap. "American Idol" is the lowest of the low. The guy is trying to stir up popularity by being on a talent show

The guy was a big splash. A huge splash. His style influenced nearly every movie that came out after 1994. But then it was over, now he's completely hack. "Death Proof" was garbage, and that's all he could come up with in five years. And I'm so crazy about Rosario Dawson I would change my religion if she gave me a wet willy.

He revived John Travolta's career. Thanks. I'd rather kill myself than watch "Wild Hogs" again. He made a star out of Samuel L. Jackson, who screamed his way to the largest career box office grosses of all time. What the fuck was he doing in a Star Wars movie?

Peace out homie. You're dead to me. You're going to have to do something pretty special to win me (and I suspect a lot of your former fans) back.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Monday, April 06, 2009

Bored at werq


I made this.