Failbook - consistently funny

see more Failbook

Eight False Things The Public “Knows” Prior To Election Day

From Campaign for America's Future

By Dave Johnson

There are a number things the public "knows" as we head into the election that are just false. If people elect leaders based on false information, the things those leaders do in office will not be what the public expects or needs.

Here are eight of the biggest myths that are out there:

1) President Obama tripled the deficit.

Reality: Bush's last budget had a $1.416 trillion deficit. Obama's first budget reduced that to $1.29 trillion.

2) President Obama raised taxes, which hurt the economy.

Reality: Obama cut taxes. 40% of the "stimulus" was wasted on tax cuts which only create debt, which is why it was so much less effective than it could have been.

3) President Obama bailed out the banks.

Reality: While many people conflate the "stimulus" with the bank bailouts, the bank bailouts were requested by President Bush and his Treasury Secretary, former Goldman Sachs CEO Henry Paulson. (Paulson also wanted the bailouts to be "non-reviewable by any court or any agency.") The bailouts passed and began before the 2008 election of President Obama.

4) The stimulus didn't work.

Reality: The stimulus worked, but was not enough. In fact, according to the Congressional Budget Office, the stimulus raised employment by between 1.4 million and 3.3 million jobs.

5) Businesses will hire if they get tax cuts.

Reality: A business hires the right number of employees to meet demand. Having extra cash does not cause a business to hire, but a business that has a demand for what it does will find the money to hire. Businesses want customers, not tax cuts.

6) Health care reform costs $1 trillion.

Reality: The health care reform reduces government deficits by $138 billion.

7) Social Security is a Ponzi scheme, is "going broke," people live longer, fewer workers per retiree, etc.

Reality: Social Security has run a surplus since it began, has a trust fund in the trillions, is completely sound for at least 25 more years and cannot legally borrow so cannot contribute to the deficit (compare that to the military budget!) Life expectancy is only longer because fewer babies die; people who reach 65 live about the same number of years as they used to.

8) Government spending takes money out of the economy.

Reality: Government is We, the People and the money it spends is on We, the People. Many people do not know that it is government that builds the roads, airports, ports, courts, schools and other things that are the soil in which business thrives. Many people think that all government spending is on "welfare" and "foreign aid" when that is only a small part of the government's budget.

This stuff really matters.

If the public votes in a new Congress because a majority of voters think this one tripled the deficit, and as a result the new people follow the policies that actually tripled the deficit, the country could go broke.

If the public votes in a new Congress that rejects the idea of helping to create demand in the economy because they think it didn't work, then the new Congress could do things that cause a depression.

If the public votes in a new Congress because they think the health care reform will increase the deficit when it is actually projected to reduce the deficit, then the new Congress could repeal health care reform and thereby make the deficit worse. And on it goes.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is an amazing and wonderful thing. It's also very dangerous, and if you ever have to prove it, something horrible must have happened.

I have experience with unconditional love. I have unconditional love for my family, and for my dogs. It doesn't matter what they do, I will love them. No matter how horrible.

What I don't have is unconditional love for a sports team and the players on that team. It scares me that other people do. There was a startling display of unconditional love this weekend among sports fans. Pittsburgh Steelers fans seem to have unconditional love of the Steelers and Ben Roethlisberger.

Big Ben had one hell of an off-season. He was accused of "sexual assualt" for the second time in eight months. He wasn't charged with a crime, mostly because he's Ben Roethlisberger, but even so he admitted to some pretty scary things.

Yet he was welcomed with open arms back to the Pittsburgh Steelers this weekend, because the team was badly in need of a player to fill the quarterback position. The substitute players were horrendous, and the fans were eager to have a better player in that spot.

I understand that. If you are a fan of a team, you want that team to be successful. I expected most fans to look past the horrible reprehensible things that Big Ben has done. It's just the way people and their attitudes to sports are. Many people can overlook a lot of misdeeds if a person can help their team on the field.

What shocked me was the totality. I know quite a few Steelers fans. Unsurprising since they are the most successful NFL franchise ever. They have fans everywhere, not just in Pennsylvania.

I could not find one single Steelers fan that said "I don't care how good he is or how much the team needs him. What the guy did was horrible and I don't want him on my favorite team."

Among every Steelers fan I know, and even ones I searched out on the internet it's consistent. How can this be? I could easily believe that most fans would give him the "benefit of doubt." But 100%? How is it possible that not one person is so offended that they want to be rid of the guy? Every single person is okay with the "he wasn't found guilty of a crime so I'm going to ignore the incidents completely" rationalization?

Mike Vick killed and mistreated dogs. He was vilified, run out of town and sent to prison. Mistreating animals is horrible and a particular behavior that I personally find reprehensible. Roethlisberger was accused of SEXUAL ASSAULT....TWICE! And somehow 100% of the people, even women, look the other way.

Lets face it. Sexual assault is the worst thing you can do in this country. I know most people think it's murder, but they're wrong. If you look at parole statistics you'll find that murderers will generally get paroled from prison after serving significant time. If you are found guilty of sexual assault, you are doing the whole time. Nobody gets parole for sexual assault. NOBODY.

The only explanation I can come up with other than unconditional love is mass hysteria. Maybe because so many people are okay with it, those who really have a problem with it are keeping it to themselves? Or does the subject matter make them so uncomfortable it is just easier to pretend it didn't happen?

It can't possibly be that he's "paid his debt" and "learned his lesson." This guy got a four-game suspension for getting away with the most reprehensible crime our society has. TWICE. His penalty is not even close to "payment" for anything.

Again, I do not expect the sports world to shun Ben Roethlisberger and toss him out of football forever. I'm not talking about any one particular fan I know or any person who should feel a certain way about what happened. How you feel is how you feel. I'm not judging anyone.

I am just astounded that NOBODY seems to feel the way I thought some should. Are they out there and I just can't see them? Maybe the outrage happened months ago and it all just faded away, wounds healed by time and five weeks of an NFL season?

And what if it was me? What if it were the quarterback of my favorite team? Or the center fielder? How would I feel? I think I know, but do you really know until you are tested? Would I be the one making excuses and lame rationalizations? Would I be looking the other way?

Tea Party?

Vast forests have already been sacrificed to the public debate about the Tea Party: what it is, what it means, where it's going. But after lengthy study of the phenomenon, I've concluded that the whole miserable narrative boils down to one stark fact: They're full of shit. All of them. At the voter level, the Tea Party is a movement that purports to be furious about government spending — only the reality is that the vast majority of its members are former Bush supporters who yawned through two terms of record deficits and spent the past two electoral cycles frothing not about spending but about John Kerry's medals and Barack Obama's Sixties associations. The average Tea Partier is sincerely against government spending — with the exception of the money spent on them. In fact, their lack of embarrassment when it comes to collecting government largesse is key to understanding what this movement is all about...

Matt Taibbi in Rolling Stone

Keeping DVDs Durable

In order to maintain the durability of DVDs, you must store them in a case that is specifically designed for DVD storage, handle DVDs properly, clean DVDs regularly and with care, avoid exposure to direct light and heat, label them using appropriate materials, and regularly clean and maintain your DVD player.
The thought of being able to save and preserve memories, music, images and other important data files on something envisioned to last virtually forever is quite tempting. DVDs are known for being a practical choice for storing data because of their storage capacity. They are also popular for their archival longevity. In fact, experts have said that with proper handling and treatment, DVDs may last up to 50 years. Unfortunately, many of us may just think that using plastic sleeves for archiving or stacks of DVDs is sufficient in keeping them durable. Actually, there are several basic things that we tend to forget but are actually very important in order to maintain the durability and lifespan of our DVDs. Here are some of them.
Store in a case that is specifically designed for DVD storage
Most of us think that jewel cases or video cases for CDs will serve the same purpose of keeping our DVDs safe. Actually, there is a big difference between CD cases and cases that are meant for DVD media. Basically, DVDs are 2 discs chemically attached together, which makes it the exact opposite of a CD. DVD cases are designed in such a way that only a sufficient amount of pressure is applied on the surface of the DVD when taking it out and putting it back to its case. It is good to remember to use jewel cases that are meant specifically for DVD media and not CDs. Jewel cases are also more effective at keeping dust away and preventing damage compared to paper or plastic sleeves.
Handle DVDs properly
When handling your DVDs, remember to use the hole in the middle of the DVD when holding it instead of touching other parts of the DVD surface or even the edges. Holding DVDs by their edges might cause it to bend.
Clean DVDs regularly and with care
Dust and lint are common enemies of DVDs. Clean your DVDs regularly using lint-free material or liquid DVD cleaners. Clean the surface of the DVD by following outward strokes, and start from the inside and proceed outside the disc. Do not use rags, tissue or a random piece of cloth when cleaning.
Avoid exposure to direct light and heat
The dye layer of DVDs is susceptible to extreme heat and light, and these external elements can render the data stored on the DVD unreadable. It is more advisable to store DVDs in an attic, closet or dry space where it is not exposed to extreme light and heat.
Regularly clean and maintain your DVD player
It is important to remember that dust and other harmful particles can accumulate inside your DVD players or drivers, and these can transfer onto your DVDs when played. Regularly clean your DVD players by dusting them. It is also a good idea to use a lens cleaner disc on the drive once every 6 months.
Label using appropriate materials
When labeling your disc, use the full-size circle-shaped label, and attach it carefully and smoothly onto the DVD surface using a label applicator. If you intend to hand-write the label on the disc, make sure that you are using a water-based marker, since regular pens contain alcohol that may leak into the dye layer of the DVD and cause damage.
DVDs have provided us with an effective way of preserving and saving important data for a longer span of time. In order to get the most of this type of archiving material, we must take care of our DVDs properly.

Beware

They're Multiplying!

Work Work Work

Today at work I was helping to configure the lighting system here:

Run Monument Run!

I drive right by this on my way home.

Student Loan Scheme

Helmets

Played around with painting motorcycle helmets this weekend, and I kinda like how this one turned out:



Hopefully I don't mess it up too much when I try to clear coat it this afternoon.

P.S. NO! I HATE the Dallas Cowboys! I fail!

Drain a Flooded Basement in 6 Easy Steps

Draining a flooded basement isn’t so hard as long as you follow these steps: check flood water status, examine the home’s exterior, conduct precautionary measures, ventilate the house, pump the water out, and clean up.

When the rainy season comes, a break in the sewer lines, or after a terrible storm, the most common problem that home owners with basements will face is flooding. Flood water can be damaging and, if left unsolved, can cause major and irreversible deterioration to your infrastructures, which may result in pricey repairs. Though you can drain the water yourself, sometimes you also need the help of professionals like Orange County water damage to do the job for you.

When trying to drain your flooded basement, here is a safe guide to follow:

Step 1: Check flood water status

The first thing that you need to do is check the status of the flood water. Determine its cause and see if the flood has receded. If the water is caused by a storm, ask your local officials if the calamity is over and if it is already safe to start cleaning up. If the flood is caused by a break in the sewer lines, report the problem to your officials to immediately fix the problem before it causes more damage to your property.

Step 2: Examine the home’s exterior

The first thing that you have to find out is if there is still standing flood water outside the house. There is no use draining the basement if there is still water that will seep back in. You may also need to check for downed power lines or trees. If there are existing problems, call the appropriate authorities to handle them. The last and most important thing that you will have to check is the foundation of the structure of your house. Look for cracks or any other signs of damage. If there are any, don’t attempt to start draining until reputable personnel, like a building inspector, tells you that it’s safe to do so.

Step 3: Conduct precautionary measures

After attending to possible hazards outside the house, you will need to check if the inside of the house is safe. See to it that the main floor water has receded. Make sure you turn off the electrical main switch and gas valves. These are just precautionary measures to ensure your safety.

Step 4: Ventilate the house

Open up windows and doors to ventilate the house. This will release the fumes inside the house and help everything dry out completely.

Step 5: Pump the water out

After completing steps 1 to 4, you are now ready to pump out the water in your basement. You may need to gather necessary equipment for the process, like a high powered flashlight, waterproof boots, a dust mask, work or rubber gloves, a hammer, screw drivers, a pipe wrench or pliers. Manually putting out the water can consume a lot of time and needs manpower, so you will likely need to use a powered pump. The pump should be gas-powered and not electric-powered. Working with electricity in water is very dangerous and poses a high risk of electrocution. Remember to gradually pump out the water 2 to 3 feet at a time and not all at once to prevent the walls from caving in.

Step 6: Clean up

Clean up all the mess after draining the basement. You might have to remove mud, silt, and debris on the floor and walls while it is wet before they harden. Sanitize the basement to prevent mildew and odor.

Always remember to deal with any flooding problems safely. There is no harm in asking for help if you don’t have any clue about what to do to solve your flooding problem.

Feel the Hate

This guy needs to let it out and not keep things all bottled up or he's going to hurt himself.

Obama Bin Laden? Pictures of Obama and Osama Bin Laden with the phrase "what's the difference?"

I think the Jesus fish and the Texas stickers are totally unnecessary, don't you? Isn't that implied?

Where do you buy these stickers? Klan meeting?

Great Election Sign

I have no idea why, but I'm not going to vote for this guy.

Hot Ride

Lich King Dead

Been playin' for a long time to get to this point.

Record Hail Storm in SD

My parents were visiting relatives in South Dakota when a record hail storm hit the area. My cousin was trying to get to the fire hall during the storm when this happened:



He's okay, the hail stone just cut his arm and bruised his thigh. My folks RV was pretty smashed up but they were out of the area with their car. Insurance should repair or replace the holes that were cut through the roof of the RV and the other parts that were damaged.

Some of the largest hail stones ever recorded hit the area. I've been through bad hail storms that damaged cars and houses, but nothing like this. The record hail stones look about like rugby balls.

The South

Yep.

In the south there's a Cracker Barrel every three miles.

I Write Like

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I tried two different posts and it came up the same, so it must be true.

World Cup

I was sitting at a restaurant today and someone asked me "do you like soccer?" I said "No."

Here's my problem with soccer and the world cup.

I'll describe how soccer works, and you tell me if I'm right.

Soccer consists of a team of a bunch of guys, but the total number doesn't matter. All that matters is one guy who stands alone and kicks the ball towards a goal. One guy from the other team of guys stands in that goal and tries to stop it. If the goal tender doesn't stop the ball, the first team wins the soccer game.

If you knew soccer and heard me describe it that way, you'd say "that's not soccer!"

But that's the exact method that decides which team is the best soccer team in the world. Not ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAME OF SOCCER. Spain is the "World Champion Soccer Team" and they got that award by playing some other type of "kick the ball in the net" game than soccer.

How the hell do you call that a sport? The Spanish team plays for ties and penalty kicks. They scored only eight goals for the entire tournament. Nullification of the actual playing of the soccer is their strategy. So the best team in the world doesn't "play soccer," they try to keep the other team from being able to play.

Congrats to the World Champs of Penalty Kicks. To the rest of the world, practice your penalty kicks and flopping and whatever else it is besides actually playing soccer that is "the world cup."