Field Sobriety

Last Thursday I took the day off work and drove to Talladega to visit my folks. They were in town for the race and might not have a chance to stop at my place so this could be my only chance to see them this year.

I drove down in the morning. Getting up was tough because I've been working the night shift and sleeping late every day. The weather was pleasant though and it's less than 2.5 hours to make the drive.

You know you're driving through Alabama when you stop for gas and there's a couple there walking their pig. I took a photo but I don't have the card reader with me. If I remember I will add it to this post later.

My folks park their RV in the best possible spot at the track in Talladega. You can't see the track because it's banked, but they're a 3 minute walk to their seats. They walk back after the race and sit outside their RV and watch people sit in traffic for 3 hours while 140,000 people try to get out of the parking lot at the same time. They leave the next day in 5 minutes. Pretty slick.

I spent about 5 or 6 hours visiting with the folks then drove back through Alabama and when I crossed into Tennessee I took a back road to my little town. I got pulled over by a small town police officer who said he smelled "the strong odor of alcohol" from my car and asked me to perform a field sobriety test.

It's pretty humiliating standing in front of his squad car with the lights flashing while performing for him. He wanted me to stare at his finger without moving my head as he moved it around. Then he wanted me to touch my fingers to my thumb quickly while counting "one two three four" and "four three two one" as I touched each finger.

I passed his test, which is good because I think the last time I had a drink was the super bowl. I'm paranoid about getting caught drinking and driving because it seems like the goal of the government is to ruin your life if you get caught driving after you've had a drink. I enjoy a drink now and then but if I'm going to drive in the next 12 hours I skip it. I'm almost always going to drive within 12 hours so I almost never drink.

I suspect the "strong alcohol smell" is the cop's bullshit excuse to check every driver he stops. There's no alcohol smell in my car, I asked two people to smell for it after I got stopped. I don't think I've ever had alcohol in that car.

Hopefully it's just an "isolated incident" but I guess it wouldn't be a shock that there are cops around that violate the civil rights of every person they pull over at night. But it's still kind of disappointing.

I'm Done With You

When people used to ask me "what's your favorite movie," I automatically answered "Reservoir Dogs, and Pulp Fiction is my top five." I still love the films, but I'm done with Quentin Tarantino.

Let's face it: The guy is over. He hasn't done anything great in fifteen years. The last decent thing he did was "Kill Bill" and even that was pretty ordinary unless you're nutty for karate movies and you love to see Daryl Hannah over-act.

The most relevant thing he's done lately is appear on "American Idol." I know he's supposed to be all into "pop culture" and everything, but honestly... crap is crap. "American Idol" is the lowest of the low. The guy is trying to stir up popularity by being on a talent show

The guy was a big splash. A huge splash. His style influenced nearly every movie that came out after 1994. But then it was over, now he's completely hack. "Death Proof" was garbage, and that's all he could come up with in five years. And I'm so crazy about Rosario Dawson I would change my religion if she gave me a wet willy.

He revived John Travolta's career. Thanks. I'd rather kill myself than watch "Wild Hogs" again. He made a star out of Samuel L. Jackson, who screamed his way to the largest career box office grosses of all time. What the fuck was he doing in a Star Wars movie?

Peace out homie. You're dead to me. You're going to have to do something pretty special to win me (and I suspect a lot of your former fans) back.

I hate driving home this late

Bored at werq

I made this.

Should I?

Here's the quandary:

Should I stay in Tennessee and keep working in a menial but lucrative job at a GM plant that will almost definitely close in the next 4-5 years leaving me stuck scrambling for a job AGAIN but this time with no relocation or opportunities...

OR

Should I sell everything I own, house and cars included, and take a low paying job in Costa Rica that I know I am perfect for and I am far more likely to enjoy than the hellhole of pay-cuts and unhappy coworkers I currently endure?

It's a bit like jumping off a cliff, sincerely believing that I can fly. There's uncertainty in every direction. I'm incredibly lucky to actually have options in today's world. What seemed like a stable and happy situation in Tennessee has turned into another quagmire of questionable oncoming situations. Or am I imagining a future more grim than will actually occur?

If things were just barely, slightly, the tiniest bit worse here, the decision would be easy. The opportunity is real, and it looks like an amazing life. But it's an adventure, and it will require a great deal of sacrifice and hard work. I'm in my 40s now. Am I getting too old to be this adventurous? I don't feel like I am, but am I blind to my own age and limitations?

At any rate, my world and imagination are alive with possibilities and opportunities, and I'm loving it, even if the answers terrify me.

Death Party

A coworker of mine had to leave early yesterday to attend a funeral. It was the wife of a friend of his who died from cancer at the age of forty. Having just celebrated crossed my forty-first birthday, I took note.

My coworker returned to work today and said that the funeral had been totally arranged by the woman who died. Previous to her death (last Friday) she had arranged for all the songs to be played, and even wrote a statement to be read to the people attending the funeral. Her final wishes were for the people at the funeral to remember her and to help her husband take care of her children. It sounded very sad. I don't know the woman at all, but the whole thing sounds depressing, preparing for your death because you pretty much know the exact date of its occurrence.

A couple of years ago my parents brought me a slideshow that was shown at the funeral of my aunt. When I was 18 I left home for college and she was my nearest relative. She was a very assertive and opinionated lady, in a hilarious way. I wasn't fond of her children, but I loved her like crazy. She suffered from "Pick's disease" also known as Frontotemporal Dementia. Basically your brain degenerates, especially affecting your social behavior. It is easily the most horrible way to go. First you lose your mind, then your ability to care for yourself, then you die.

The slideshow was horrible. It began with pictures from her childhood and progressed through her life. But the pictures from the end of her life showed a completely different person. Definitely not the woman I knew when I was growing up. It might have been wise to cut those pictures from the presentation, but then there would have been none of her with her great-grandchildren.

My aunt obviously had no input into the composition of the slide show. If she could have decided 30 years ago I guarantee you she would not have wanted people to see her in those final few years when she had no idea what was happening. But at least she didn't have to suffer through the depressing and frightening experience of preparing her own funeral.

I'm not sure what the best way to go is right now. All I can come up with at this moment is "hit by a bus." Surely there's something better?

I've Got Wood.

My house has beautiful hardwood floors, except the bedrooms. I've never understood this. I hate carpet. Carpet only does two things well, collect dirt and keep stains. I don't like carpet on my floors and I don't like carpet on the ladies (if ya know what I mean.)

So, after practicing on several of my friends' homes, I took the plunge and removed the carpet from the master bedroom and installed hardwood flooring. I also took the opportunity to replace a couple of pieces of inherited furniture with some brand-new never previously owned pieces, a couple of chest-of-drawers.



I haven't done two of the doorways yet, including the one into the closet in the picture because I need to get a carpet reducer and the Lowes/Home Depot is a half hour drive from the tiny town I live in.

It was a long hard weekend, first tearing out the old nasty stuff and repairing the damage and then putting in the new floor and moving in the new furniture. But it was so worth it, the room looks beautiful now.

Now when GM goes out of business I'll have a skill to fall back on.

US lawmaker to push to repeal online gambling ban

By Doug Palmer

WASHINGTON, Feb 20 (Reuters) - A senior Democratic lawmaker will push legislation this year to repeal a U.S. ban on Internet gambling that has hurt trade ties with the European Union, a congressional aide said.

"The bill introduction should happen in the next month," a spokesman for House of Representatives Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank said.

Full Story

New Homelad Security Alert Code

According to Utah State Senator Chris Buttars, homosexuals lack morals, engage in abominable behavior, and are as dangerous as radical Islam.

In response, the defense department has come up with another addition to the Homeland Security Advisory System. Whenever the nation's intelligence systems pick up chatter about impending homosexual activities, there will be a "Pink Alert."

So far, the only information released on what to do in case of a Pink Alert is "Watch your bunghole."

Hopefully more information will be forthcoming.

Why Do Republicans Hate America?

GOP poised to leap on spending abuses in stimulus

House Republicans are setting up "a stimulus-watch program" that will allow watchdog groups and private citizens to report findings as contractors and agencies start spending billions of dollars on roads, schools, renewable energy projects and other initiatives, said House GOP Whip Eric Cantor of Virginia.

Where were these "watchdogs" when stuff like THIS was going on?

Nearly $9 billion of money spent on Iraqi reconstruction is unaccounted for because of inefficiencies and bad management

Or THIS:

report said as much as $12.7 billion in cash from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, sent to Iraq during Bremer's watch between May 2003 and June 2004, was unaccounted for.

Or THIS:

In what could turn out to be the greatest fraud in US history, American authorities have started to investigate the alleged role of senior military officers in the misuse of $125bn (£88bn) in a US -directed effort to reconstruct Iraq after the fall of Saddam Hussein. The exact sum missing may never be clear, but a report by the US Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction (SIGIR) suggests it may exceed $50bn, making it an even bigger theft than Bernard Madoff's notorious Ponzi scheme.

Why are Republicans so happy to write a blank check for rebuilding Iraq, but hate it when the government wants to spend money on America? Do they hate America?

Use Your Words Like a Big Boy

Socialism: (sō'shə-lĭz'əm) n. Any of various theories or systems of social organization in which the means of producing and distributing goods is owned collectively or by a centralized government that often plans and controls the economy.

In other words, The government, or some other collective organization, owns the means of production. The gov't owns the factories, stores and everything else producing economic results.

Socialism does not mean government handouts, bailouts or welfare.

IF ANYBODY TELLS YOU OUR GOVERNMENT IS SOCIALIST, THEY ARE TRYING TO SCARE YOU INTO BELIEVING THEIR BULLSHIT.

People are throwing the word "socialism" around a lot lately, and it is EXCLUSIVELY being used as a scare tactic. You can be relatively sure that anyone that uses that word in any form of political discussion lately is completely full of shit.

Where's Pauly's Bailout?

"Auto companies churned out oversized gas guzzling pieces of shit that no one wanted to purchase, so since those fat cats are lining up for a juicy government hand outs, I figure here was my chance to get in line behind homeowners with bad credit that never should have gotten loans in the first place..." Pauly

I realize this is the popular wisdom right now, but it's just plain wrong.

I don't know why people think that American car manufacturers suddenly stopped selling cars because all they do is "churn out oversized gas guzzling pieces of shit." But people do. Why is it that conventional wisdom is usually wrong and always overly simplistic?

In this case I guess it's because the auto slump coincided with surging gas prices. But sales were still pretty good, even when gas got up to $5 a gallon. Gas rose steadily over 5 years. But things really didn't start to get nightmarish for car makers until gas dropped down to HISTORIC lows, around $1.30 a gallon. So that can't possibly be it.

Yesterday it was announced that Nissan, who was projected to make over $1 Billion last year actually lost almost $3 Billion. Now how do GM and Ford's "gas guzzling pieces of shit" affect Nissan's performance?

People just STOPPED BUYING CARS. ANY CARS. The crashing economy scared the shit out of everyone. "Shit, my 401k just lost $300,000" isn't the kind of thing that inspires people to go out and drop $40K on a new SUV.

Every single car company is suffering. Only Subaru and Hyundai were profitable last year, and their market share is minuscule. Hell, Subaru produces ONLY all-wheel drive cars that get terrible mileage. They market solely based on safety and horsepower.

And if people stopped buying new cars, how are they surviving? They're driving their cars longer than they have. Because they are NOT "pieces of shit." They are built better and drive longer than any cars in history. It's actually the quality of the cars that's working against the automakers now. Maybe if they actually did make pieces of shit, they'd have more business.

And as far as "big gas-guzzling" vehicles, why do you think automakers produce them? Do you think automakers determine what people buy? NO! Automakers try to figure out what people will buy, then they try to make them. But it takes around 5 years for a domestic car manufacturer to get a new model on the road. Foreign auto builders can do that in 3 years, but again most of them do not produce the volume of GM and Ford. That flexibility gives the foreign makers an advantage in the short term, but too many snap decisions based on the current market can be more costly.

Decisions made in the last couple of years based on artificially high gas prices could help the industry, but since the "American Auto Buying Public" only seems to ever buy GIANT GAS GUZZLING DUELY PICKUPS AND SUVS, it could actually be a DISASTER. Drive down the street in any town and look at the ratio of giant vehicles to small fuel efficient models. It's overwhelmingly SUVs, Pickups and Mini-vans. Nearly all with one passenger in them.

Americans don't buy their cars based on what they "need." They buy based on what they "want." I want something BIG and STRONG. I want to be able to tow a boat, if I ever buy one. "What will I do with my hypothetical boat if I buy a Prius? Answer me THAT!"

Update

Steve Czaban, FOX sportscaster proclaims that Michael Phelps is a loser.

Wow, what does it take to be successful in "the Czabe's" opinion? Become a chubby middle aged sports announcer that never achieved anything? Or win 14 Olympic Gold medals and earn $100 million in endorsement deals: which of these would you consider "a loser?"

I think our poor friend Steve has fallen into the same logical fallacy that I fell into when I was a teenager.

Lucky for me, I grew out of it.

Logical Fallacy

I have never smoked pot. I made up my mind very early that I was not going to be a pot smoker. And I made that decision based on poor evidence and improper foundation.

My best friend in high school smoked pot. He worked at a car wash drying water spots off the vehicles as they came out of the tunnel. After closing time he would hang out with the other rag boys and get high. I was pretty nerdy in high school (warning: understatement) but occasionally I would go with my friend to some parties or just to hang out with some of his work buddies. And they really made an impression on me. They were LOSERS. It seemed like all they ever did was sit around and smoke pot and listen to heavy metal music. The only other thing they did was figure out how to get more pot. I was convinced that smoking pot made you a loser, so I wasn't going to fall into that trap.

I arrived at the conclusion that smoking pot made you a loser based on a logical fallacy. It's a common logical error. When it rains, the ground gets wet. The ground is wet, therefore it rained. WRONG. Maybe someone opened a hydrant. Maybe Waffles pissed all over the place. Just because rain wets the ground does not mean every time the ground is wet it rained, and just because everyone I saw smoking pot was a loser doesn't mean that everyone that smokes pot is a loser. It didn't dawn on me that they were smoking pot BECAUSE they were losers, not the other way around.

And now, this evidence:

Yes, that's Michael Phelps, smoking pot.

BUT BUT!!! Smoking pot makes you lazy! Smoking pot makes you indifferent and undisciplined! Nancy Reagan told me so!

Fourteen Olympic Gold Medals, a world record, say otherwise. Eight Gold Medals in one Olympic Games, also a record, say otherwise. Here's proof that you can smoke pot recreationally and still be disciplined and motivated to excel. Because nobody has excelled like Michael Phelps, ever in Olympic history.

And here's the kicker. Michael Phelps has a DRUNK DRIVING CONVICTION. He may in fact be doing THE RESPONSIBLE THING by smoking pot INSTEAD OF DRINKING. Not only was he given a free pass on the "irresponsible" drinking, he's being raked over the coals for smoking pot. No, drinking is not irresponsible, but drunk driving sure is. Yet people are horrified at what a HORRIBLE example he's setting for the children.

I think Michael Phelps is setting an excellent example for all people, children included. He's showing that it is possible to enjoy marijuana or alcohol, in moderation, and still be a motivated, disciplined enough person to win fourteen gold medals.

Isn't that the best example of all?

Wisdom of the Rock

Chris Rock's observation of the OJ Simpson verdict was spot on when he said "Black people were too happy and white people were too mad."

I'm seeing some of that around here today, although I don't think the black folks I've been seeing are too happy, unless they expect things to get drastically better for them in the south. Things are the way they are for a reason.

No, I'm seeing a lot of white people who are VISIBLY UPSET at seeing black people so happy. There's no real minus for them, even if they perceive a poor government in their near future. Right now they are purely upset BECAUSE black people are so happy.

I said before that an added benefit to the Obama candidacy is that it drew a lot of closet racists out into the open. This is one way you can tell who they are.

Inhibited

I actually think my current favorite blog pastime is Waffles' fault. A while ago he posted about a British poker player named Ed who was clearly insane. He bluffed off thousands of pounds on the craziest plays. His swings were unbelievable. And he was brutally honest about how badly he played. He had a few commenters who commiserated with his plight, so naturally I followed them and their incredible stories of remarkably stupid behavior.

Those blogs generally don't last very long because people with such poor awareness and judgment aren't generally stable enough to maintain a blog. But while they are blogging I can't look away. It's like a train wreck, all unfolding in front of your eyes.

I could never be that brutally honest on my blog. I'm much too inhibited to actually give you a deep look into what I really think and feel.

But I LOVE blogs that do. Especially from people who are totally unaware that what they are doing shows INCREDIBLY poor judgment. Those blogs, although reading them is probably very unhealthy, have me positively enthralled. And amazingly, some of them have kept blogging over long periods of time.

One such blog floors me with a lack of decent judgment at least once a week. This person even posted stories about doing drugs at work, which is a bad idea since the person gives their real name in their blog, but also REAL NAMES and PICTURES of other people who participated. I hope those poor victims of this person aren't interviewing for a job anytime soon with an HR person that knows how to Google.

Another one I read is incredibly racist, yet it's fairly subtle so they probably think they're getting away with it. They're totally INFURIATED with the idea that someone of a different race is getting credit for something merely because they are non-white. They're especially concerned with those that are half-white for some reason. It seems impossible for them to accept the fact that someone of color might have earned something legitimately. No, this non-white person obviously got a leg up because of his race, even though there is nary a fact to indicate that's the case. If a person is black, all his accomplishments come from riding on the coattails of other people. Other WHITE people.

Most of the blogs I read are written by very intelligent and funny people. But this is like peering into the mind of a completely stupid person, yet that person is totally unaware of their lack of awareness and massively poor judgment. I could call it enlightening, but the actual material is as shallow and insipid as you could possibly imagine. They're also very funny, but in a completely different way. An unintentional way.

The Offending Code

// Function: ConvertDays
//
// Local helper function that split total days since Jan 1, ORIGINYEAR into
// year, month and day
//
// Parameters:
//
// Returns:
// Returns TRUE if successful, otherwise returns FALSE.
//
//------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOOL ConvertDays(UINT32 days, SYSTEMTIME* lpTime)
{
int dayofweek, month, year;
UINT8 *month_tab;

//Calculate current day of the week
dayofweek = GetDayOfWeek(days);

year = ORIGINYEAR;

while (days > 365)
{
if (IsLeapYear(year))
{
if (days > 366)
{
days -= 366;
year += 1;
}
}
else
{
days -= 365;
year += 1;
}
}

Zune Takes the Day Off

If you have a Microsoft Zune player, it's taking the day off.

The brilliant programmers at Microsoft forgot about the extra day this year because of leap year. Because there was a February 29 that your Zune didn't know about, it doesn't think there's a December 31 this year.

According to the same brilliant minds at Microsoft, your player will be fine tomorrow.

That distant laughter you hear are the folks at Apple, unable to control themselves.

Update: Stay tuned for details on the class action lawsuit. Should be a slam dunk.

Thought for Today

Never bite when a growl will do.

2008 Year in Review

Was fucked.


Predictions for 2009:

More fucked.