Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Oklahoma is the Australia of the US.

Nearly every Oklahoma driver backs into his parking place when he parks.

I found this very odd when I first moved here, but chalked it up to the Pickup Truck culture they have around here. But that explanation failed to satisfy when I saw some stupid redneck try backing into the same spot four or five times as I waited to pass, and I realized that it's infinitely harder to back INTO a parking spot than it is to back OUT of one.

How are Oklahomans like Australians? Their shady ancestral background. The origin of the nickname "Oklahoma Sooner" comes from the Oklahoma Land Rush. When the homestead act came into effect in 1893 allowing white people to settle on Indian land, 100,000 people "rushed" across the Kansas Border to the plot of land they wanted to claim. Most of them found that the choice plots had already been taken. How could that be? The Oklahomans simply left "sooner." That's right, they're all a bunch of cheats. Common criminals who found a way to work the system to their legal advantage.

So my theory on why so many native Oklahomans like to back into their parking spaces is a deep seated need to make a fast getaway. They instinctively need to know that should the need arise, they will be able to escape as quickly as possible. I'm surrounded by people who are ready to flee, at a moments notice.

Added irony: The word "Okla" means "people" in Choctaw, and "humma" means "red." So the word Oklahoma means "Red People." Many, if not most, of the Oklahomans I know have a racist hatred for Native American Indians, yet their name labels them as the people that they hate.


GaryC said...

As a native Oklahoman (who gets quite red when in the sun too long) I am one of the people who almost has to back his truck into a spot, when it is possible. My truck is nearly impossible to back out of a standard sized parking lot without backing and pulling forward about 4 times. Then again, I'm not that great a driver.

Another reason for backing in: To be able to sit on the tailgate and drink beer away from the traffic. LOL.


Heafy said...

When I first saw the title of this post, I knew you would expect me to make a comment. So here I am.

When you were talking about the obsession with reverse parking, I thought to myself "Man, he really knows Australia well!". But then you lead me into our sordid past. Hey, we weren't that bad. The Brits didn't steal the land or anything. They just saw a whole bunch of Aboriginals and decided the land was "vacant" and dumped a shitload of prisoners there. Sadly, these Aboriginals never got the courage or support to start opening their own mini-casinos in Australia. For shame...

DuggleBogey said...

Do Australians love Pickem-up trucks too?

I know from your previous posts they they like to drink beer...but then again who doesn't?

Maudie said...

Well, duggle, I don't know how you were allowed into the state - did you not get your rule-book? There is a state ordinance that one must own and drive a pick-up truck for a period of time of one's own choosing - commercial tag optional. It's just the way it is. Mine was a lovely blue Ford Ranger XLT (xtra lovely truck)- had that baby for 9 years. And Gary is right, it is proper to back the truck in if only for the purpose of tail-gaiting. Which goes with all things bar-b-cue. Which goes with all things footbal and/or monster truck show and/or rodeo. The "Sooners" were merely prudent (coff), staking their claims a shde before the land runs began. They wanted to get to the bar-b-cue on time....in order to get a good parking space.

DuggleBogey said...

Sadly, I in fact DID buy a pickup truck when I moved to Oklahoma.

Either it was to satisfy the state law, or it's because I bought a house out in the country and needed something to haul my trash cans to the road where the garbageman will collect them.

They get you one way or the other.

Whenever my wife rides in it with me, she sings the banjo theme from "Deliverance."