Speaking of Donkeys...

Speaking of Donkeys, I made the mistake of playing in the Poker News Daily $1000 Freeroll last night. Now I don't think I'm anything special as a poker player, but I know dumbasses when I see em. And this tourney was full of dumbasses.

Holy crap what a donkfest. 122 entries, there were 75 gone in the first 25 minutes. Incredibly retarded plays, like re-raising a pot committed player with 97 (oh yeah, do I need to mention SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTED?) and hitting a straight.

The worst part was these donks complimenting each other. "Nice play, I'll see you at the final table!" after making a retarded play that worked because their opponent was somehow MORE retarded. To be dumber than these guys, you'd have to be rated somewhere near the intelligence of a tree.

They were so busy chatting in near illiteracy about what EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXPERT poker players they were, they would often time out on their next hand. I made the mistake of saying "shut up and play," so they decided it would be fun to use every second of every hand, since they believed they had fairly large stacks and felt like they could stall their way into the money. Of course this was also retarded because only nine places paid, and they were only hurting themselves by costing themselves chances to make money. You can't stall to the money when you are below average in chips!

When the stalling started, I decided to give up. I can't play too late on Sunday night with my alarm going off at 4:30 on Monday morning, so I went all in the next decent hand I saw, which was AK. Of course some donk called me with two suited cards and hit his flush.

It was fun hanging out in PSO chat and laughing at the AWFUL plays we were all seeing. The most commonly typed word in chat was "OMG!" One of the players said "One of us should win this, these players are horrible."

I disagreed. Even if you can get a ten to one advantage every time, when you are called down with it twenty times, you are going to LOSE. Sure enough, every one of us got eliminated in supreme suck-out fashion.

At least we all had some laughs. Mostly at fools who deluded themselves into thinking they were good poker players.