The Height of Simplicity

I played in the easiest tournament I've ever entered last night. I was talking to KingLucky on the phone and he said that Absolute was about to start a tournament for "new depositors." He wasn't sure if he qualified so he tried to enter it and it allowed him in. So I cranked up the Absolute software and tried it myself, and I was allowed in too. I had deposited in the last week or so, and I guess that counted. I originally opened my account over a year ago, so "new" depositors is probably a bad name for it, it should be "recent depositors."

At any rate, the tournament was a qualifier for the "new depositors main event" tournament on Sunday. All you had to do was make the top 200, and the tournament would end and you would automatically be entered into the Sunday main event. The total enrollment for this tournament was 377. So more than half the entries would be winners. Piece of cake.

Last through 177 freerolling idiots? Easy. Except that things are a bit different at Absolute. You start with 1500 chips in round one, and if you haven't played a hand, INCLUDING FOLDING ONE HAND, by round two, you are removed from the tournament and your chips are removed from the table. Apparently around 70 people didn't know this because they sat out the entire first level and BANG, we were almost halfway to the money after the first 10 minutes.

20 minutes later the rest of the all-in monkeys knocked each other out and I was qualified for the Sunday $3000 tournament. By far the fastest and easiest multi-table tournament I have ever played. I won one hand, when my AK made Aces full of fives and I called an all in by a guy with K2. I assumed a split, but called just in case the guy was a moron. Yes, he could have had a pair of fives, but I would still have had plenty of chips to make the money. I was glad to do my part to get everyone to the money faster by knocking this dumb ass out.

The Sunday main event should be fun, considering the level of competition. I think they are having one of these qualifiers per day, so there will be 1200 people in the main event. If you have an Absolute account, you might want to jump in for a laugh.