I'm a Dolt

I may be a little bit over-sensitive. I've gotten so used to being disappointed lately that when I hear the first negative thing I assume it's true and start pouting.

I called a guy I know in Spring Hill and the guy they had in mind for the job there said, and I quote, "No fucking way." So it looks like I am headed to Spring Hill on Monday. It looks like they are so scared they have offered me the job sight unseen. I'm sure they checked up on me. Either that or those small alterations to my Resume really worked.

That's one of the reasons for my initial frustrations, however. The systems I work on are practically HATED by most right thinking programmer/engineers. It's a beast, I admit. But it's MY beast. I've been with it since it's development, and probably have more experience with it than all but a dozen people on the planet. I know brilliant programmers who are absolutely TERRIFIED of working on the systems I happily seek to work on. My rationalization is that I should be able to write my own ticket because of this. The world just doesn't work that way.

I'm kind of ashamed of the pity party I tossed for myself in the last post. I got some incomplete information that was only slightly negative, and I immediately took it as fact. I have been in such a negative frame of mind lately that I am willing to give up on things instantly, even if there's still a chance. That's a bad way to be. I'm usually a pretty optimistic person, and I never had any doubt that I would land somewhere and be fine. I just blistered at the lack of control I was having over my destiny. In my world I should be able to call someone up and say "I'm available so you should hire me" and their response should be "holy shit, really? When can you be here?"

Since that is basically the reaction I am having now, I shouldn't be such a negative piss-ant. I should be counting my blessings.

Just when I think I'm out...

So just when I've resigned myself to moving to Michigan, perhaps even looking forward to ending all the stress of trying to find a place to land, something stirs the whole mess up again, and I get excited about another possibility.

When I arrived in Lansing on Monday one of the leader muckety-mucks asked me if I'd consider moving to Spring Hill Tennessee, as he thinks they have an urgent need there and I'd be an ideal fit. I try to hide at least some of my excitement as there are plenty of people around who think Lansing is heaven on earth and that ground just isn't normal if it's not covered in perma-frost.

I reply that I am definitely interested and he takes it upon himself to clear it with those that want my services in Michigan. To my surprise they approve the activity and I'm beginning to feel like I've gotten a suspended sentence.

Then out of nowhere I get the news that the position may already be filled. What? I didn't even get a chance to interview for this position that's been described as something I may be "uniquely qualified" for? Maybe the Michigan folks shot me down via back channels, or maybe there was someone in the pipeline already that I wasn't aware of.

I know of at least one person in the company working against me and my efforts to move to Kansas City. If he doesn't cool it, I may need to solve my problem with him via the "lime and a shovel" method.

I'm tired of getting my hopes up for situations that seem perfect but for some outside reasons don't work out. I need to go back to being frustrated from poker, not frustrated from EVERYTHING else in my life.

Poker Comic #68

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Share the Wealth

I spent the morning reading blogs, but not through bloglines like I normally do. I'm looking for changes in the sites I normally read.

What I've noticed is a few PSO advertisements popping up and I'm really happy to see them. PSO has launched their new site, and has made the decision to embrace blogs as a marketing opportunity.

PSO has always been a great affiliate opportunity, although affiliate deals are a dime a dozen these days. But these new ads for PSO are pre-paid advertising. This is a much better deal for those of us who work hard on our blogs and take pride in the content and the appearance.

If you're like me, you get an email every other day from a "potential advertiser" who really just wants you to put up an affiliate link. Opportunities like this from PSO aren't nearly as common. Pre-paid avertising is much more preferred, for obvious and not-so obvious reasons.

I hope everyone that gets an offer from PokerSource takes advantage of it. It's really a win/win/win situation. The bloggers win because they get a little cash for all their blogging work, PSO wins because they will pick up some new customers, and the customers win because they get associated with the best poker bonus resource on the internet.

Duh

Sometimes I am very hindered by my deficiencies. When I made my plans for my next two weeks in Lansing Michigan, I was hindered by my inablility to read a calendar.

I mistakenly made my reservations for three weeks instead of two. In my defense my trip got approved at the very last minute and I made my reservations very quickly.

Now I have to decide between staying in Michigan for an extra week (actually four days since the Easter holiday falls in the last week) or to change my travel plans. Luckily I realized it before I took too few clothes...I won't be desperately searching the streets of Lansing for a coin laundry. I know it would score big points with the "powers that be" in Lansing if I stayed the extra week.

My hopes of moving to Kansas City have basically been dashed. The job I was hoping to get didn't materialize. The only remaining chance is a guy there who is thinking about moving. He has an interview at the end of the month in Baltimore, and he might move there to be closer to his wife, who works in DC. Like a friend of mine said, it should be a "no brainer," but the term "no brainer" only seems to apply to people at my company, not their actions. Anyway if he decides to move, I can apply for his job. If I get it, I can move to Kansas City. That's just too many ifs for me, and I told the Lansing folks that I'd have a decision for them by now. So Friday I told them I was willing to commit to moving to the great state of Michigan. Weather be damned.

I fly tomorrow, so the rest of the day will be spent packing, for three weeks instead of two now. Good thing my suitcase expands.

Second attempt

The first one I did for vegaas was kind of fruity, so I decided to try again...



And this is kinda funny, if you are in on the joke...



I'll be heading out to the Newcastle Gaming Center tonight to play some Live Pokah....if I'm really lucky the lovely and talented Maudie will be there to watch me donk away my chips....

Two More

Fire me a gmail if you want to use it, I'll give ya the full size version and instructions on how to install it if you need em.

Some people might prefer this alternate version for Guin's...

HUC3

I'm an alternate in the HUC3 tournament tonight at Full Tilt Poker. All the spots are full, but there are some SNGs set up for those that bust out early, and the railbirding should be a good time.


If you're bored and you want to see some blogger-on-blogger one-on-one action, Full Tilt is the place to be tonight.

Poker Comic #67

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PSO Update

I haven't talked about Poker Source Online in a while so I thought I'd give an update.



I haven't done a promotion in a while at PSO and a lot of the regular users haven't either, mostly because they've done all the promotions PSO offers already. It's a common complaint "What do I do now?" after all promotions are completed.

Even if you don't do the promotions at PSO, there's still a lot going on, and if you were clever enough to join a Frequent Flopper Program you are basically always completing a promotion. Sometimes when I hear the amount of rakeback these Frequent Floppers receive, it makes my head spin. PSO still frequently hosts freeroll tournaments, and the league has an incredible amount of overlay ($10K for ten $5+$.50 tournaments!)

Even more encouraging is the way that PSO is beginning to embrace blogs as a medium of advertising. Some of their recent giveaways have been aimed towards blogs and bloggers, and they are sponsoring a blogger tournament in the near future that could have a prize of $25K if enough bloggers join the tourney.

Currently PSO is in the middle of a large site redesign, and I expect after that is complete there will be a lot of action over at PSO, and I think those of you with blogs will be in a position to benefit greatly from their continued generosity.

YMBADI

Just because a quote from you appears in a "You might be a donkey if" column, it doesn't mean you are a donkey. I know for sure that people's quotes have appeared here who AREN'T Donkeys. I'm sure if I read through my entire blog, I could find plenty of quotes from myself that are things that a Donkey might say.

Anyway, here's a few more goodies:

You Might Be A Donkey If you've ever said the following things in your blog:


I have decided to become one of those guys that makes a living playing on-line poker. Uh oh, danger Will Robinson...lots of people think you have to earn your way to become a pro, not just "decide."

I’ve seen the film Rounders with Matt Damon more times than I care to remember. Hmmm....definitely required criteria to become a pro...

My decision to go pro comes after losing my last dollar online yesterday. Wooh! This might go on the list as the WORST reason to become an online pro....I can't come up with something worse.

I am now 36 years old. Yes that’s correct 36 years old; broke and living with my Dad. You may not want to become a pro just because you don't have any other options.

I’m not a complete idiot. I have a University degree in Engineering. Maybe not complete, but you definitely have some partial idiocy going on."

Okay, this guy isn't really a donkey. I had high hopes after reading his first post that he'd be some great material, but he seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders....but some of these comments in his first post make me want to weep.

It also felt good to just get knocked out of the tourney regular, and not be sucked out on like usual. It felt good? You must feel good all the time then.

I've got a bible on my table, and I've got a cross with my Savior on it right next to my wood stove. Why don't you take up Morman or some other stupid shit. In my experience, if you want people to respect your religion, it's not best to shit on everyone else's."

This would put me at my final goal of playing $1000 and higher by next winter. Even if you only make half your stack at these tables that's $500. And if you multiply $500 by 300 you get $150,000. I love a plan that includes ZERO losing days in an entire year.

After those beats I decided to play a sit and go. I stepped up to a $50 +5 which is one or two levels higher than I play. The pros agree, when you are on a losing streak, the best thing to do is to STEP UP from your usual levels.

So, the poker took a dive last night, and that usually means a big win is around the corner. Or it just means you are a shitty player who didn't get lucky last night. Same difference.

This guy definitely is a donkey, and I can count on at least one donkey-like statement from each one of his posts. To quote Felicia Lee:

Losers usually talk about how much they win, or how great they play. Winners usually say nothing, or downplay their ability.

Sure, there is a time and a place when good or great players should actually brag about their ability, but for the most part, they don't, and they shouldn't.

All this guy does is brag on himself, not only how he's the greatest poker player on earth, but the greatest PERSON on earth. His cluelessness knows no bounds.

stopmeimoutofcontrol

They're not even actually asking me anymore, I'm just doin' em.

Change the Subject

This is no longer a poker blog. It's a poker blog blog. That is to say I don't seem to write about poker anymore. All I write about is blogging about poker. I blog about other blogs, I blog about blogger chats, I blog about blogger's banners. Granted all those other blogs are poker blogs, so it's still REMOTELY related to poker, but just barely.

And I have no problem with this. Guys like the "Poker Chimp" think it's easy give out "poker tips" that are original and well thought out. That just proves how fucking stupid they are. If that Chimp ever comes up with anything that is 10% as insightful as this from the REAL Poker Shark then I'll surely die of a heart attack. I just don't have that good of a poker strategy post in me. Let's see if the Chimp is still putting out monster strategies like "play within your bankroll" and "never give up" after two years.

Speaking of blogging about blogging and Sharks, a blogger friend of mine had a problem with "The Shark Army" or the "Shark Poker Tour" or some such douchebag. My friend participated in a "link exchange" with said "Shark" and lived to regret it. When they tried to leave a comment inviting him or his "army" to participate the upcoming Heads Up Challenge (Which I am way behind in pimping, sorry) he jumped all over their shit about "spamming his comments." Here is how I replied to my friend who asked me what to do:

The guy is a douchebag and I wouldn't worry about him.

I really don't do "link trades." They are bullshit. Especially when you have a not-for-profit blog and you are trading with a for profit blog. That's ridiculous. You are basically giving him money and he's giving you nothing.

Link trades are all generally bullshit anyway. Someone is always getting screwed. Whenever someone asks me for a link trade, I always say the same thing "We'll see." If I feel like it I take a look at their blog, and if they are providing SOMETHING worthwhile, I'll link them. If they are just a banner farm, or not posting anything interesting, or are brand new, I don't link them.

Almost everyone that asks me for a link trade is a new blogger. While it's nice to link some new bloggers, most new bloggers post for a few months and disappear. How is it fair to exchange a link on a blog that has lots of hits in exchange for one that has almost none, and will probably go away in a few months anyway? I might mention them in a post, but they don't get a permanent link until they've earned it.

The way I see it, a link is an ENDORSEMENT. It says "I read this because it's interesting and has something worth my time, and maybe it will be worth yours." If you just link every blog you've ever heard of, you are devaluing your power to endorse. You're basically giving away your integrity.

Don't trade links with douchebags like this. You'll be happier, trust me.

I'm sorry if I offended some of the people who have requested link exchanges with me, and hopefully if you were good guys I at least posted about you.

No, my blog isn't the greatest thing ever and I'm certainly not king shit of the poker blogging world. But I do make some (very little) money from this blog and I value it greatly. I have been putting time and effort into this blog for going on two years now, so I definitely think it deserves some respect.

Pritty Pichers

Just so you guys know that if you ask for a banner, I'm not necessarily going to pick on you, I did three more yesterday:







I don't charge for these banners, so it helps your chances if my blog is mentioned in your links somewhere.

Update: One more, and bear in mind that I am a DIE HARD Yankees fan:

Poker Comic #66

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Another Banner Request

Keep those banner requests coming! I aims to please!



Seriously, I got a very polite email from someone called "dornie" from Arkansas Poker asking for a banner. Now I like to read the sites, hoping to find some info about it so I can come up with something personalized. I see the "gohogs" and the Arkansas, so I find a nice Razorbacks logo....but as I read on there's a post about how someone is happy that they can refer to "fags" as brokeback now.

What kind of intolerant bullshit is that? First of all, "Brokeback Mountain" has been out for like six months, and this guy is just NOW making "brokeback" jokes? Maybe it takes six months for any pop culture to get to Arkansas? Being happy about finding another way to be a bigot isn't exactly the way to encourage me to help you with the look of your blog, dude.

Eight is Great!

One good side effect of traveling is that it gave me a lot of time to play poker without the interruptions of having a life. After you've gotten your meals taken care of, there's not a lot to do on the road except watch TV, read or play poker.

I did the latter.

After stepping up to the $200 PLO8 tables, things have been fantastic. The move up wasn't really by choice as I had the bulk of my bankroll on Full Tilt and they didn't have a $100 PLO8 game going my first couple of nights I was there. I reluctantly switched to Party and played $100 because it was a more comfortable level for me, but eventually I returned to Full Tilt and took the $200 plunge. And what a plunge it was. The players weren't a bit better than the $100 or $50 level. Still overplaying AA, playing A2 completely ovbiously and usually with no counterfeit protection. The best thing about the $200 level is that when you quarter someone, the pot is still huge by comparison. At the lower levels it seems like when you quarter someone, most of the profit is eaten up by the rake. Sometimes you need a little nudge to play higer limits, and once you get there you're thinking "what took me so long?"

I actually almost missed the DADI event last night because I was involved in too many PLO8 tables. I'm trying to multi-table in PLO8, but it requires much more concentration than multi-tabling Hold em tables, at least for me. Luckily I remembered a few minutes before the DADI event started, and got in.

My first table was fun, with Garth and Fluxer, and eventually surflexus. The fun of these tournaments is throwing around chips, not caring about the small buy-in. I managed to win one hand with the hammer, but Garthmeister managed to one-up me and win two. I did suckout on Fluxer when he put me all in holding big slick, and I called with 87s. The flop had two eights and I think I tilted Fluxer bad. Which is the point of these tournaments. If I can tilt one player, I'm happy.

Some Chimpanzees don't get the fact that these small buy-in tournaments are for fun. The Poker Chimp even criticized Joe Speaker for playing the HAMMER! Talk about not getting it. That Chump just folded every hand until he was short stacked, then went all in with AQ vs KK and got knocked out. Woohoo! That retarded redneck really knows how to have a good time! That dumb as a rock strategy might work at the nickel-dime tables against your trailer trash buddies, but when you're against real players you're not going to get very far with it. I'm sure he went back to his blog to dispense more tips on how to be racist and beat up women. Stuff he knows.

My pimp hand is weak

Wow, do I suck as a pimp. I assume most people reading this blog already know about all the DADI and WPBT events that are going on, but that's still no excuse for not pimping them.

Last night there was a WPBT circuit event, PLO at Poker Stars. PLO is really not my game as much as PLO8, and the differences are amazing. I struggled all night trying to figure out a good starting hand besides AAxx. I played one hand a total chicken-shit with KKxx, because of my insecurity. I ended up 13th or so out of 56 players, so I didn't shame myself, but I really didn't like the way I played a few hands, and I did get a couple of suckouts to make it that far.

Tonight is another DADI event, here is a cool banner advertising it. It's a short-handed event, so six people per table. BlogsAreGay is the password. $10+1 is a good price, anybody who can't afford it shouldn't be playing anyway. Most of the WPBT folks prefer $20 buy-ins or higher, but the DADI folks like the cheaper, more inclusive buy-ins. I tend to favor the DADI crowd.

I'm not crazy about the short-handed format. I like to think I can make adjustments to short tables, but short to me means three or four players, not six. It's just out of my comfort zone. I end up playing my 10-person strategy, and that's not quite right for a table of six. There is pleny of opportunity to practice as every online site offers six-max tables now, but I just haven't done the work. So I will end up being over-aggressive or too tight or some other extreme that will screw me over in the tourney.

At least I know I will be able to give a lot of crap to the players that do better than me, both in the table chat and in the yahoo chat that's sure to occur. I know some of those bastards are six-max pros, and I need to come up with a plan of assault that will give my insults the most effectiveness.

Some people prepare for poker tournaments by getting their game ready. I prefer to prepare by loading up on the insults, and dishing them out like monkeys hurl poo.

Full Tilt $8500 Guarantee

My flight back to Oklahoma from Lansing SUCKED. My connection in Chicago was delayed an hour while they fixed the backup generator. After an hour of flying, the generator failed again, so we had to turn around and fly back to Chicago. We sat in the airport for hours (although I had a nice conversation and a good gyros on a pita) while they tried to fix the plane. Before midnight they finally gave up and put us on another plane, arriving in OKC after 1am.

I slept most of Saturday after the long travel day, and didn't even get to play a hand on Saturday.

But Sunday weak_player popped up on my IM and invited me to play in a double stack tournament on Full Tilt, the $8500 guarantee. Blinds go up normally but you start with double the normal amount of chips. That didn't stop two players from getting knocked out on the very first hand. I bet those guys are glad they took advantage of the bigger stacks.

I held on and held on and made the money after a couple of hours. Weak_player got in too. He went out when the chip leader at his table limped in front of him. He went all in with 88 and the limper called with TT. I don't understand this play. It's not like TT is a hand you want to slow play, but if you are going to call an all in for nearly half your chips, isn't it a hand you'd like to raise? King Lucky keeps telling me not to try and figure out the donkeys online, and he's probably right.

I ended up in 11th place out of 505 when my AK lost to AQ. I flopped a king, but he turned a straight. I was severely short stacked by that time anyway.

It was great fun playing and chatting with you weak. Thanks for the invite! $24+2 buy-in nets $133.32

Back to OKC

Lansing airport has free wireless internet. Free wireless internet rules. Up till now I was playing low limit PL08 at Full Tilt killing time waiting for my flight. Why doesn't everywhere have free wireless internet?

I'm off to Chicago in half an hour, then to OKC for two weeks, probably. I got an email from a boss that wanted to talk about whether I had made the decision to move to Michigan or not, and what other offers I was considering. I tried to call him back four times over 3 hours but never got through.

My plan was to explore any "other offers" next week and make a decision then, so not being able to get ahold of him might be a blessing. I'll reply that I couldn't get ahold of him and that I'll call him on Monday, conveniently AFTER I've explored my other possibilities.

I really like Michigan and the potential here is very high. But the reality right now is very low. All the work is being done outside the plant in a trailer while construction goes on. The trailer is a good half mile from the plant, which requires many walks back and forth carrying all manner of computer equipment. With the weather lately, the trailer sits in a lot with many other trailers, affectionately called "trailer city." The lot is essentially a mudhole. Wading through ankle deep mud several times a day lugging a ton of safety gear and computer equipment doesn't appeal to me as a prospect for the next 6-8 months. After that it will conceivably be smooth sailing, but that could get very tiresome in the near future.

I have some very important decisions to make, and I don't have a great deal of confidence in any of them. But I guess when there's no right decision, you can't make a mistake, right?

I want to personally thank all the bloggers who kept me entertained the last two weeks with the chat rooms and tournaments. Being stuck in a hotel room in a strange city isn't so bad when you can listen to your friends scream in agony over bad beats. I especially want to thank those who participated in the especially stimulating chat sessions. You really know how to have fun. Thanks!

America's Sweetheart

My favorite part of the Barry Bonds story so far is how he originally got his steroids by buying them from Bay Area AIDS patients who had them legally prescribed but sold them to Bonds because they needed the money. San Francisco was obviously the best place for ol' Barry.

There may not have been a rule in baseball against steroids at the time, and while there's certainly no shortages of scumbags in the sport, buying drugs from dying people that need them seems like it should carry some kind of severe penalty, even if just karmically.

I don't think there's ever been this combination of horrible person, horrible media relations and horrible teammate combination in an athlete before.

Ironically, Barry Bonds was easily headed to Cooperstown before he started using steroids. He was a 40-40 superstar. But his need to be bigger (both literally and figuratively) than McGuire and Sosa may have actually cost him his chance to be inducted into the Hall.

Up to $25,000 Freeroll for Bloggers

I am registered to play in the Online Poker Blogger Freeroll Win your share of $25,000 and a set of Nevada Jacks poker chips. Hosted By: Absolute Poker Sponsored By: Poker Source Online Registration Code: 19451479

Go to Poker Source Online for more info and to sign up. The minimum prize pool is $1000, but if we get enough bloggers (dead money) involved, it could go up to $25K.

Poker Comic #65

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Internet

You Suck at Poker

One thing that was really interesting to me while listening to the other bloggers in chat the other night was hearing TraumaPoker repeatedly say "I suck" and "I'm the worst player at this table." It was a weird contradiction to how he used to act in his blog. Lately he seems to have reversed his opinion. Indicentally, I'm really glad he ditched that retarded "100-2-Infiniti" name, or whatever it was. Was he supposed to start playing poker with $100, and eventually buy an Infiniti with the money? Anyway, I digress. Trauma ended up being a pretty hilarious guy. Join the chat sometime and you'll see. The trash talk between he and SirWaffles is absolutely precious.

Then I started thinking about the phrase "You suck at poker." (With a nudge from Double As.) It really doesn't mean anything. The person who says it really can't know your game that well, unless he's been watching you for a long time. And reading your mind.

If someone tells you "You suck at poker" you can basically do one of three things.

1) Consider the source. If the person has no clue about poker, then his comment might not mean anything. You could do copious amounts of research, investigating their history and watching hands they play for the next few months. Unfortunatley it's usually just a person who is trying to get under your skin, and raise your insecurity about your game. If need you defend yourself, perhaps by saying "There's no way on earth I could possibly suck, because I win money playing," then you obviously have been affected by the criticism.

2) Actually, deep down agree with the source. You can choose to get angry about it or choose to accept it, but if you do indeed feel that you suck at poker, you may think the source is correct. I'm not sure why someone would do this and keep playing, but I know they're out there.

3) The only actually reasonable choice: Ignore the source. They don't know the first thing about your poker game. Maybe they saw you overplay some shitty hand, so they think you suck. They don't know the situation. Maybe you were just fucking around, playing way below your normal limits and trying to tilt some folks. Maybe you decided randomly to make a play and ran into a big hand or a calling station. Maybe you just fucking like playing 73off because your birthday is July 3rd. Who the fuck knows?

So maybe it is just a good strategy? If you want to know if someone sucks, just pre-emptively accuse them of being a player who is "teh suck." If they defend themselves, then obviously they don't have any real confidence in their game. If they laugh and say "indeed," you know you're dealing with a player who knows not only about poker, but about how to play the game.

Happy Bday Waffles

Since it was SirFWALGMan's birthday, I signed up to honor him. But the tournament was automatically voided because of a server crash at Full Tilt Poker. It's pretty incredible that the bloggers can get the tournament transferred to PokerStars and still get 26 people to join in.

Of course I had to be the first out. In my defense I only made one mistake in the hand, playing the suited hammer instead of the hammer. Anyway, SteelerJosh cracked my hammer with AK. Another freaking suckout. Truthfully I should have just called his re-raise and pushed on the flop and he would have probably folded when Big Slick missed. I didn't like the idea of playing two tournaments at once, and I had Poker Source Online's Poker League to play in, basically at the same time.

Unfortunately I didn't fare well in the PSO game either, as I cold called a small raise from the BB with AJ. Flop came AJT and my opponent bet out small. I raised and he flat called. Turn was a blank so I pushed, and he insta-called with TT and I didn't river an Ace or a Jack. At least I had four outs. I'm sure there's a way to get away from that hand, but I didn't have it in me.

As I was watching the ENDLESSLY fascinating Blogger Game continue, I see an ad for a $.10 tournament on PokerStars. I really never played very much on PokerStars, outside of Blogger tourneys or the one Wil Wheaton event I played. Since the bloggers in chat seem to play a lot on there, I took a look around. They have the SMALLEST games I have ever seen. $.01/$.02 PLO8? Incredible. I donked it up there for a while and I think I lost 200 big blinds....$4! It was fun making dumb bluffs at other bloggers. But who can turn down a $.10 tourney? Thousands and thousands of entries, and I had a blast donking it up there too. Eventually I busted on some crazy hand, and I didn't find out this morning that I was WELL into the money, and actually tripled my buy in! Woohoo! That's twenty cents profit baby!

Anyway, this week should be filled with lots of blogger insanity, both in chat and at the tables. There will be MTTs, SNGs and of course some more heads up affairs with Ms. Poison herself! I can barely wait!

A Weekend of Firsts

I had my cherry broken a lot this weekend. Coming up to Michigan has exposed me to a lot of new things.

***I had my first heads-up challenge against Veneno. I took the lead in the first match, but she quickly overcame and took me out. She wanted to play another one right away. I'm telling you, that girl is insatiable. So we played another one. It ended poorly for me as I slow played my Aces. By the turn her 42o was Twos full of fours, but she improved on the river to Fours full of twos. Yes, that's right, my crummy little pair of aces lost to a pair of trips.

I did manage to exact some revenge the following night, but she was severly handicapped by some strange mango liqueur and tequila mixture. I highly reccomend it for your heads-up opponents. Well, I also recommend cracking her aces with 75s. I was open ended on the flop and rivered a four. So our match total is 2 for her, 1 for me. But I have a feeling that lovely girl hasn't had enough of me yet.

***Saturday brought the first time I met a Michigan Blogger. I met two, in fact. I traveled 90 miles to Muskegon Michigan and Great Lakes Downs. I was worried because my email wasn't working Saturday morning and I had to find the track from my memory of BGs email, and I had only glanced over it. Thankfully it was very convenient and I got there right at noon. The ATM was down at the track so I ran out searching for an ATM. When I got back 15 minutes later, I beeped BGs nextel and he was standing about 30 feet away from me in the parking lot.

BG is an incredibly fascinating guy. He's probably the most self-confident insecure guy that I know. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but if you ever met BG you'd understand. His new travel requirements for work are a real disappointment, because his take on the local Michigan horse racing world would be a fascinating project.

THG seems like a really great guy. The first thing you notice is his voice. He should be in radio or announcing of some kind. A very strong steady tenor. Thanks for the drinks guys. I really had more fun playing the ponies with you guys than I did in the tournament. Even though my only decent score came on a horse called "Brother Derek."

***I played my first Michigan "Charity" poker. They apparently skirt Michigan gambling laws by donating he proceeds of the poker action to charity, and that allows poker games to exist. One limitation is that you can't win more than $500 a day. So even though there were almost 100 people in the tournament at $55 a shot, first prize was still only $500. I don't know the actual payout structure, so that should tell you how BG, THG and I did in the tourney. THG wins the pool for the last-longer bet we forgot to make.

***I got my first Dial-a-shot. Mine was Gin (okay, and some tonic) and I totally punted the toast. My only idea was to toast to horses named after Lord of the Rings characters. But I'm pretty sure BG would have slugged me.

Who Wrote "Boom Boom?"

If you haven't gotten the special edition DVD of "Blues Brothers" yet, you should consider it. It's a good version of a great movie. It's a musical, it's a comedy, it's an action movie and it's a fantasy movie, all rolled into one. The absurdity of the action and the plot are heightened by the lack of explanation for said improbabilities, save for the repeated mantra "We're on a mission from God." The movie simply could not be made today. The costs and the politics involved would be impossible. It was a slice of time when the musical guests were not only still performing at their peaks, but they were all available because of a lull in the popularity of their genre.

The additional footage added to the film for the special edition aren't that substantial, unless you're John Lee Hooker. In the original film his musical number in the film was shortened to a musical introduction as the band enters "Ray's" music store. In the extended edition, you get to hear the whole song, the immortal "Boom Boom." And then, at the end of the song, Hooker argues with members of the band about whether or not he wrote "Boom Boom."

Like many blues standards, nobody really knows who wrote "Boom Boom." It's not one of those songs that necessarily has to have an author. It's basically a simple but powerful blues riff with a backbeat flavor. It's commonly accepted that "Boom Boom" rose out of the Mississipi Delta, and Hooker captured it and applied it to vinyl.

That's one of the beautiful things about Poker Strategy. Nobody can claim authorship to a certain strategy, nobody can say "I was the first person to ever try 'this' in poker."

Everybody is standing on the shoulders of giants, and those giants are essentially anonymous. It's like blues or soul standards. Styles are often copied from people who originally copied the style from someone else.

The truly great players are those who are inspired by the style of others, but work to adapt the style and make it their own. But everyone is working from the same original riff, which grew out of time itself, with no known creator.

Too Late

I've been staying up too damn late. It's just hard to turn those guys down in chat when they want to play "just one more SNG."

Of course, as retarded as I am, I didn't actually play a SNG with those guys, because every time I went to join the thing would fill up a half-second before I entered. Oh well.

I had no choice but to chat with those guys, because I had to brag about a $238 scoop in an PLO8 game at Full Tilt. I love it when guys raise pre-flop with AA and can't let it go. Even with three suited cards on the flop (I had the nut flush) and three to the wheel on the board (I had the wheel.) He called a $72 river bet with AA for high and a counterfeited low. Then he tilted off his remaining $50 and rebought for another $100 (table max) but he left before he could tilt away the entire hundred. Omatilt is less common that Hold Em Tilt, but when it happens it can be rough.

Desperate to brag, I found TripJax and begged for a chat invite. Then I realized that the Chicks vs. Chimp tourney was going on. I missed the first 45 minutes or so, but I got the pleasure of watching Mr. "all women except Annie Duke suck at poker" outlast ONE out of four women. Maudie (my new hero) busted him with a runner-runner straight flush. I'm so jealous of her because she got called a "tourist." Thanks to all the lovely ladies who demonstrated that this donkey doesn't know shit about shit. He didn't deserve to sit at the same table with such beauty and grace.

After the third time those guys asked me to join them in a Tourney at Poker Stars with me replying "I don't have any money in Poker Stars," I checked my balance. Duh. I had $77.10 that I won at the Omatard tourney earlier this year. I completely forgot it was in there.

When I missed the 2-table SNG that surflexus, GaryC and TripJax were playing, I joined a $.01/$.02 PL08 game at Stars. I had no idea they had games that small. I laughed every time someone potted it pre-flop for $.07. I found out that I am totally mentally incapabe of folding to a $.02 bet when there are still cards to come. I played so poorly at that table I think it actually wrecked my Omaha8 game. Gary and Surf joined the table for a brief time, but left when the "everyone calls everything" got to them. This can be very frustrating because weird hands get paid in Omaha when everyone is in. The whole point to O8 is PRESSURE, and you just can't apply pressure with an $.18 re-raise.

So finally I missed the last SNG of the night and decided to just play one on my own. A 10+1, and the opponents were....well, not great but infinitely better than Party. I got lucky and got paid off every time I had a hand. With four left I had the lead, but the second biggest stack took out the other two, putting me in second place with two left. I had AKs on the first hand with the BB, and he folded to me. I folded the next two hands to hopefully instill the idea that I was only playing big hands. Then I won every.single.hand after that. I rivered a straight, flopped top pair twice, pushed him off pots or got him to pay me off every time. If I was him I would have been pissed. Heads-up play should never be that one-sided.

By the time the SNG ended it was past 1:30 and I've been getting up at 7am so I was fast asleep by 1:35.

Tonight there will be less poker, if any. I need sleep, I have a phone date to watch Survivor with Mrs. Bogey, and I NEED SLEEP!

Poker Comic #64

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