I'm a Dolt

I may be a little bit over-sensitive. I've gotten so used to being disappointed lately that when I hear the first negative thing I assume it's true and start pouting.

I called a guy I know in Spring Hill and the guy they had in mind for the job there said, and I quote, "No fucking way." So it looks like I am headed to Spring Hill on Monday. It looks like they are so scared they have offered me the job sight unseen. I'm sure they checked up on me. Either that or those small alterations to my Resume really worked.

That's one of the reasons for my initial frustrations, however. The systems I work on are practically HATED by most right thinking programmer/engineers. It's a beast, I admit. But it's MY beast. I've been with it since it's development, and probably have more experience with it than all but a dozen people on the planet. I know brilliant programmers who are absolutely TERRIFIED of working on the systems I happily seek to work on. My rationalization is that I should be able to write my own ticket because of this. The world just doesn't work that way.

I'm kind of ashamed of the pity party I tossed for myself in the last post. I got some incomplete information that was only slightly negative, and I immediately took it as fact. I have been in such a negative frame of mind lately that I am willing to give up on things instantly, even if there's still a chance. That's a bad way to be. I'm usually a pretty optimistic person, and I never had any doubt that I would land somewhere and be fine. I just blistered at the lack of control I was having over my destiny. In my world I should be able to call someone up and say "I'm available so you should hire me" and their response should be "holy shit, really? When can you be here?"

Since that is basically the reaction I am having now, I shouldn't be such a negative piss-ant. I should be counting my blessings.