Poker Comic #125

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Hey Bud

Spam email received

Hey Bud, I heard on the boards you are a preety good Poker Player.
well, I can beat you ass in any type of poker and mostly texas holdem any given day.
Come visit me in my favorite poker room, get a decent bonus and the best of all,
If u beat me in the game I will pay for your Trip to VEGAS!!!

Hey Moron Spammer Bud:

Your favorite SPAMTASTIC poker site doesn't allow US players, so could you please spare us from your lame-ass eighth grade taunts that point to a free SPAMsite with an affiliate banner that will probably be taken down in a few minutes?

An Expert On The Subject

Hoy,

I like your blog.

You are one wordy mother fucker.

Fuck em if they can't take a joke.

Duggle

Well Thought Out

"Well, you know, I hate [Black] people. I let it be known, I don't like [Black] people. I don't like to be around [Black] people.

"Yeah, I'm [racist]. I don't like [them]. [They] shouldn't be in the world or in the United States. So, yeah, I don't like [them]."

"I don't condone it. And if people got problems with it, I'm sorry. I'm saying I can't stand being around that person, knowing that [they're black].

"First of all, I wouldn't want [a black person] on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, you know, I would really distance myself from him because I don't [like them]."

Very Little Poker

With the exception of the WWdN on Tuesday night, I have played very little poker.

Instead, I have a 15th level Orc Hunter with a cool pet called (I shit you not) "The Rake."



Update: I'm already in a Guild. I hear this is a bad thing as far as addictions go.

Poker Comic #124

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

I Get To Decide What You Watch on TV

That's right, for the first week of February, I was a Nielsen Family! I got the books, I tracked every minute of TV watching and DVRing I did for the first through the eighth. I even got $5 whole dollars cash for participating.

You can be DAMN sure the word "Idol" didn't appear in my books anywhere, but there was plenty of Heroes and Adult Swim on there (I PVRed a Heroes Marathon the day before the ratings period started). Mrs. Bogey pretty much filled up the rest of her book with SciFi Channel offerings.

It turned out to be a lot more work than I anticipated, because the way you log time shifted DVR programs is a bit cumbersome. I wonder if I was supposed to record shows that I fell asleep watching?

You KNOW You Want One...

I bet I'm the first kid on my block to have one of THESE:




Jealousy...thy name is....EVERYONE ELSE.

They Gave Up

The weather predictors here in Tennessee have gotten it SO wrong SO often lately that they have completely given up predicting the weather.

I just watched a local news station give the current weather for the area west of here and say "It might come this direction." That's the best they can do now, they are unwilling to commit to any actual predictions.

I guess that's what happens when you miss the forecast by 20 degrees or more 5 out of the last 10 days.

Charity?

Someone did something nice for someone. It was very nice and I'm sure the recipient was very grateful. No harm done at all. Everyone wins.

The recipient published something (in a blog where he's paid to write, btw) that said he was slightly worse off financially after his divorce than he was before it. A kind person took heart and gathered some funds from willing bloggers and delivered a kind but obviously frivolous gift to the downtrodden author.

But I have to wonder. There are several bloggers who are now or have recently been without work. There are some that have been recently divorced and nobody survives something like that without a big financial hit. Like Christopher Titus says "Wanna know why it's so expensive to get divorced? Because it's worth it!"

There are certainly those more needy, if not more deserving of charity. I wonder how those people felt when they read about this "act of charity." I don't presume to know. I just wonder.

And I'm absolutely not shitting on someone doing something nice for someone else. I'm sure everyone that gave money to this cause knew the whole situation and people can certainly do whatever they want with their money.

I think the gift giver is a really good guy, and the recipient (although he probably spends more to get his metro-sexual wardrobe cleaned in a month than this gift cost) is well meaning too.

I just got a weird feeling when I read about it, knowing what I do about some other bloggers and what I know about the situation. Some people will just think I'm being an asshole but those people already think I'm an asshole anyway.

I wasn't asked to be a part of this, I only found out about it by reading the blogs of the giver and the recipient. Had I been asked, I'm pretty sure I would have declined. Probably. I definitely would have felt like I was getting squeezed. If any bloggers felt put on the spot by the request, I feel bad for them.

Retard Requirement

I swear there must be a frickin requirement that you have to be RETARDED to be in politics. These morons give mentally challenged people a bad name. The mentally challenged look at these people and say "They're fucking retarded!"

The Nashville City Council passed a measure making English the official language of the city.

After months of debate, the city's Metro Council voted 23-14 on Tuesday to approve the measure, which would require all government communications to be in English, except when multilingual communications are required by federal rules or are needed "to protect or promote public health, safety or welfare."

The exceptions were added after the city attorney contended that the bill's original language was unconstitutional. Some supporters and opponents of the measure said the exceptions mean the law would have little effect on city business.

Months of debate? That means tons of $$$$. For what? A moronic resolution with a loophole so big you could pilot the space shuttle through it.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but does't "health, safety and welfare" cover EVERYTHING the government claims to do? What's left? Collecting taxes? What fucking "scourge of evil" is this law hoping to prevent?

The Nashville City Council should have saved a bunch of money and just all stood up at the same time and shouted "WE HATE SPICS!"

Poker Comic #123

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

No Pokah

I guess I started the boycott too early! I haven't played any online poker since last week. What have I been doing with all my spare time?



Despite all the warnings from people who obviously know better and against my better judgment, I started playing World of Warcraft. It's not a horrible time to start as there is renewed interest in the game from longtime players because of the first expansion release in two years.

It does seem to be a huge time sucker of a game, although not as bad as the horror stories I have been hearing about EverQuest.

So far nothing from the government about trying to stop me from playing World of Warcraft, but I expect something in the near future.

The World Seems a Little Better

I'm beginning to hear about new payment processors coming online that are eager to server the US Market.

MyWebATM and YouTeller are the first two I'm hearing about. I'm anxious to hear some reviews and learning about the fees.

One thing that was great about Neteller was if you used them properly and had some patience, you could transfer money completely without paying fees. There were fees for people who used insta-cash (if the poker room didn't cover it) or used their ATM card (an ATM with a monthly minimum/fee is ludicrous) but I considered that a stupid tax.

I don't really expect a fee free solution, because I'm sure these companies are looking at all these desperate gamblers and thinking "why give them something for free when they're obviously willing to pay for it?"

All Your Boston Are Belong To Us

Poker Tables at Cardroom Supply Review

The following post is a paid review of the Poker Tables at Cardroom Supply.

Nobody plays poker on the dining room table anymore. Why make do with a hard surface where it's hard to pick your cards up and you have to be careful that your chips might slide everywhere when you can play on yards of soft spongy felt surrounded by beautiful Oak or Mahogany with comfortable padded rails?

No matter what your budget is, Card Room Supply has Poker Tables that can make your home game a better poker experience. From a wood cylinders finished with metallic brass and chrome Texas Holdem table for $5,500 to an octagonal folding table topper for $79.99, CardRoomSupply.com has something for your home game.

I highly recommend the 10 Player folding Holdem folding table top because I have one of these. The padded rails are a luxury you'll really notice after sitting at the table long into the night. At $175 it's a must, especially with the free shipping that comes with any order over $100. It easily fits into the trunk of my car for carrying to those away games.

There are more than 30 tables and table tops available at CardRoomSupply.com. If you're looking for something to make your games a little more professional, or you're looking for something to make your rec room into a place that would make a casino jealous, CardRoomSupply.com can fix you up.

Poker Comic #122

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Unfair!

I think picking Barbaro in the dead pool is unfair and it shouldn't be allowed, for the simple fact that they don't euthanize people, unless you count the death penalty, which is specifically not allowed by the rules. While everyone was rooting for Barbaro, that horse basically had the death sentence since last year. Weasel pick, I protest, (although half-heartedly. You can't deny the cleverness of the pick.)

I had a lot of fun in the WPBT kickoff event for 2007 on Sunday, sneaking into the money at 6th place and picking up some highly coveted WPBT POY points. Great to see GCox nail down second place for some nice cash. I felt pretty Fuelish when I overplayed my 55 vs Wonkas QQ (nicely trapped) to cripple myself after holding the lead earlier for all of 15 seconds. Willy was playing pretty Wonky, and even though I think my double-up gave him the lead with five left he aparently didn't get very far. I didn't watch the rest, so maybe he got bad beat up.

Sometimes I think the worst thing that can happen late in tournaments is a burst of cold cards then something marginal like 55 coming along. Your stack is fine, you should play carefully and be able to get away when it's obvious you are beat, but you've got this artificial feeling that you need to make a move because you've been dropping blinds. Patience is a much better play, but the panic of trying to keep up clouds your judgment. I think I still had 20 or so big blinds when I made my big play with 55 after a favorable nine-high flop and a bet from my opponent. Maybe I didn't butcher it too badly and it was just a well played hand by him. Still something I should work on.

Anyway, my tables were mostly fun with characters like Mean Gene, Miami Don, and Carmen San Diego...er...College Park? Towson? (I know she's from the Baltimore area somewhere...) handing out the jabs and pokes. Those folks can dish it out when they really want to.

I don't think I laid a horrendous beat on anyone for the entire tournament, unless you count the hand where someone (Weak Player maybe?) went all in with AT and I called with KK. He flopped an A but I rivered a K for the resuck.

This was definitely not the case in the $8.80 token race I played to get into the tournament, I played like a huge donkey and got lucky on every hand. I rivered a deuce after an A high flop all-in vs. AQ with my A2, cracked AQ with JQ with runner-runner straight (Q-high flop all-in,) and I rivered a straight to crack AA with my own AQ...it was ugly. You cannot beat donkey luck. At least I parlayed that token into some money for once.

Absolute Poker Info

My biggest concern lately with all the Neteller business is that it's starting to seem impossible to withdraw your money from a poker site without a fee, if at all. There's always ways to deposit, pre-paid credit cards and ePassporte both cost about the same, but you cannot withdraw via those methods.

Absolute Poker used to charge a fee for paper checks (like just about all other sites) but recently sent out this:

AbsolutePoker is pleased to offer free check withdrawals using regular mail for a limited time. Due to new policies from certain processors, no other withdrawal methods are currently available, unless you have an account with Click2Pay (not allowing new U.S. signups), InstaDebit (only available to U.S. customers until Feb.1, 2007 for withdrawals) or ePassporte. Currently, the best way for players to withdrawal is via paper check or by opening up an account with ePassporte.

If you haven't signed up at Absolute Poker you can try the $100 Free Cash promotion from Poker Source Online and give them a try.

Poker Boycott?

This guy and This guy have both posted about an Online Poker Boycott. I'm not sure how I feel about the idea. It would be great if we could send a message to the poker rooms that they need to do some more work standing up for the players in the US, but I just don't think poker players are that organized.

Michael Craig noted in his book that while many poker players don't consider what they do "gambling" per se, poker players are almost always taken from the pool of gamblers, in other words poker players are a subset of gamblers. Basically we are all degenerates. We don't just play poker because we want to. Somewhere in us there is a NEED to play. Why there is a need is different for every player, usually a combination of the need for action, stimulation or the lure of easy money. It might be a very subtle need, but you can ask just about any poker player who hasn't played in a few days if he feels the occasional tug towards the online felt. Most of us will say yes.

But I might have to boycott poker involuntarily. With the untimely freeze of Neteller, I have a bunch of money trapped in there. There are other ways to get money into your poker accounts, like Prepaid Credit Cards or Credit Cards via ePassport, but there are more fees involved and withdrawls are much more of an ordeal, if possible at all.

It's kind of ironic that I recently advocated withdrawing your money from poker sites and not keeping it online because it wasn't safe there. Now that scheme is out the window as depositing and withdrawing are MAJOR hassles.

I have some small amounts of monies on a few poker sites, but not enough to warrant a big "cash out and quit" event, but not so little that you can just play a couple of MTTs and go for the big score or blow it. I'm not sure what I will do with it. I've used some of it to stake another player, but that doesn't solve my problem. If he wins, he'll just transfer my half of it to me and I'll be in the same boat.

I think it's the whole demotivational factor of not being able to easily cash out. If I'm just winning money that lets me play more and there's no light at the end of the tunnel of a big cash out for a trip to vegas or a wasteful purchase, I have trouble getting excited about playing.

Another Lucky Mookie

I donked my way to 5th place and $44 in the Mookie last night, which attracted a Fuelish 55 players... As usual I caught some lucky cards at some lucky times, and when I had a big stack I was able to brute force my way to the final table.

I got the lead on a very fishy play that I'm still on the fence about. I'm not looking at the hand history so I'm doing this from memory.

Blinds were 100/200 and I was second in chips for the tournament with around 20 or so players left. I raised to 600 in middle position with TJ sooooted. A later player (I think it was TripJax, who kindly welcomed me to the table and I repaid him by taking pretty much every last chip he had) went all in for about 1700 and the player immediately after him insta-called for his whole stack, in the neighborhood of 1200. The blinds folded to me.

I think I had around 6-7K in chips, the pot was around 3900 and I had to call another 1100 chips. When the first player went all in I was leaning towards folding the hand, but the extra money in the pot made me stop and think. Both players were short enough to be on the desperate side. Is it worth it to call 1100 chips for a chance at 5K and a pretty substantial chip lead?

I think the deciding factor was that losing 1100 chips, while representing about 15% of my stack, would not have hurt too much.

If it were Waffles in the situation, the players would have had AA and KK. But my donkey luck in blogger tourneys held and both players had AK. A jack flopped and I was helped by the fact that they held each others outs.

Maybe I had odds to call, maybe I made the right reads based on their previous play and stack sizes. Or maybe I'm just a lucky donkey.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes plays that look like donkey plays are actually plays at a level that are so far above me that they look like poor plays to me. Sometimes when I think a player is a donk, the donk is actually me.

But I know for SURE that it's a donkey play to call someone a donk at the table.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Update: You might be thinking 5th place isn't too bad out of 55 players....that's what I was thinking until I read the live blog:

11:05 … Second break and the chips counts of the survivors look like this:

1. DubbleBogey - 18,048
2. Lightening36 - 8,775
3. mclarich - 7,496
4. NumbBono - 7,320
5. BrainMc - 6,456
6. GCox25 - 6,140
7. Maudie - 6,058
8. photojenn - 6,040
9. dnasty13 - 3,860
10. Otisdart - 3,606
11. HighOnPoker - 3,148
12. weak_player - 2,778
13. Don Morris - 2,775

All of a sudden 5th place doesn't seem so good. Seems like a retard blew a big lead with 13 to go.

Poker Source Online

If you play a decent amount of poker (and since you are reading a poker blog, you probably do), you know that you pay the poker room to play in the form of rake. There is nothing wrong with that; the poker rooms have to make money to stay in operation. But if you could play at a discount, you certainly would, wouldn’t you?

That is where Poker Source Online comes in. Poker Source Online, also known in the online poker community as “PSO,” has partnered with four of the top online poker rooms to offer rakeback to new customers. Anyone who has never had an account at Sun Poker, Full Tilt Poker, Ultimate Bet, or Absolute Poker can have anywhere from 27% to 32% of their rake returned to them, depending on the poker room.

Sure, some rakeback providers work with more rooms than PSO does, but PSO limits the rooms it deals with in order to ensure the highest quality customer service, both from the room and from PSO. If you ever have a question about your rakeback, PSO will be there to help you. Some of the poker room representatives even stop by PSO’s message forum to assist from time to time.

Three of the rooms deposit the rakeback directly into your poker account as cash. There is no need to request a payout from PSO to get your money. One room, Ultimate Bet, pays out in PSO “Points,” which can be accumulated and spent in PSO’s online store. There, you can purchase all sorts of poker goodies, books, DVD’s, electronics, and gift cards (some gift cards are even for poker rooms, so they are as good as cash).

So, if you want to essentially get paid to play poker, it only makes sense to sign up for rakeback at Poker Source Online. You are going to play poker anyway, so reward yourself for it! Visit http://www.pokersourceonline.com for more details.

Poker Comic #121

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

ZAP!

Playing along a SNG on PokerStars (I agree with Hoy, the first five people went out with the best hand, some of them incredibly unlikely) when ZAP! my laptop suddenly shut off.

I have been having really bad luck with my laptop recently. I left it sitting on an end table the other day when the dogs came running by and knocked it off. The new puppy gets the other two dogs riled up and they will occasionally come through the house like a herd of cattle. The laptop survived, but the wireless PC card was history. I always hated the flimsy little antenna that hangs off the side of those things. It was quickly replaced by a USB wireless adapter and I was back in business.

I raced upstairs to complete my SNG. After bubbling out (My AA vs AQ, all in Pre-flop -- KJT flop, [THANKS POKERSTARS!] and I'm down to 1.5 big blinds) I ran back downstairs to investigate my laptop. Nothing would make it budge, but the green light was flashing on the front. I removed the battery and tried just the power cord. Still nothing. I pulled the power cord and put in the battery, and the machine booted up. So I plugged in the power and ZAP! it shuts back down.

Closer inspection revealed that the power cord had been worn through, presumably from being closed into the recliner, which I recall doing once or twice. A pair of wire cutters, a pocket knife and a half a roll of electrical tape and my power supply is just like new, except that it looks like a snake that's had a recent meal.

I didn't finish the operation in time to make Mondays at the Hoy, but seeing as how it's on Poker Stars, maybe I'm glad I missed it? Maybe I'll use my handy dandy electronic repair skills to make myself a tinfoil hat.

Nice

Poker Comic #120

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Update: The Sky Is Still Up There

"The only difference between disappointment and depression is your level of commitment." Mark Maron

Try to be just disappointed, not depressed people. Despite what you might be reading on the intertubes, the sky is not falling for online poker players in the US. Yes, Neteller, the most popular online payment processor for gambling sites has gone away, but that was fairly inevitable. Citadel is gone too, but I don't know of a single person that used them anyway.

Click2Pay is still in business and does a great job. I've never used ePassporte, but I've also heard good things about them.

It is certainly not a good sign, but your oppressive government has been doing this to you for the entire decade, so this can't exactly come as a shock. We are going to have to make a lot of adjustments now and in the future, but there's no reason to panic yet. (Unless you are a Neteller shareholder, then open the window and jump.)

Update Update: Click2Pay no longer accepts new US customers. If you were lucky enough to already have a Click2Pay account or opened it immediately when you found out about the Neteller arrests, you are fine. But if you don't have one now, you're not going to get one. There is a potential solution pending, but I haven't heard anything concrete, I'll post if I hear about it.

Poker Comic #119

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

How to win the WWdN

First, you get lucky vs Transfish and crack his AA with your KK with a King on the turn. Then you throw your big stack around for the whole tourney until you suck out a few times and have five times as many chips as the player in second and you have the entire final table covered. Don't tilt after taking brutal bad beats twice while heads up, and finish him off with the Waffle! (24h)

If a (Mean Gene) offers a chop at any point, decline!

Thanks to everyone who played, and sorry to everyone I put a horrid beat on, which includes basically everyone.

How to Make Banners

Here's a simple guide to making a banner for your blog.

First you need to find a picture that you like. Get your camera, capture images from your favorite movie, search google images, whatever.

Once you have a pic you like, you need to get it into a photo editor. Everyone has MS Paint, and that works. There are much better applications out there, but Paint gets the job done, quick and dirty.



Once you have your picture in Paint, you have to format it so that it fits as your banner. You don't have to make it any specific dimensions, but I like to keep them between 650 and 750 pixels wide, and between 150 and 200 pixels tall.



Then just lay in some text. There are an infinite number of fonts available for free, but I find if you have too many to choose from, you'll never be able to make a decision. Select a complimentary color, I like to pick one using the "eyedropper" to take one from within the pic so you have a nice match. Sometimes you need to outline the text with a darker or lighter color so you can see it against the background. This one looked good with no outline.



Save it, upload it to an image host (I use Flickr) and add the link to your template and BOOM, you are done. No Fuss, No Muss.

All My Banners

A look back over all the banners that have graced the top of GoBeRude over the last 30 or so months.

Have I mentioned...?

Have I mentioned that I'm the worst multi-tabler ever?

I joined the Riverchasers tournament and a FTP Forum Freeroll at the same time last night.

First hand, I get KT and some donk ass in the freeroll goes all in from middle position to open the pot. I figure "screw it, it's a crummy freeroll, I have no idea what the prize is, and I'm not staying up long enough to beat 700 players anyway" and call.

Well, just as I call I look up at the top of the screen and see the word "Riverchasers" in the title.

Fuck me. I just assumed that it was the freeroll because you'd have to be retarded to go all in like that. With AA. Gigli!

Worst multi-tabler ever!

Ironically, I got busted from the freeroll when my AA got cracked.

At least I get to bed on time tonight!

Mookie Fun

I signed up for the Mookie at the last minute yesterday evening. I've been getting up for work at 4:30am lately and playing some of these blogger tourneys can make it very difficult to pry my ass out of bed that early.

But the lure of the Mookie is just too great, so I signed in and decided to go headlong into the weak/tight bloggers out there. I figured I would sling a lot of chips, make a lot of plays, and eventually bust out to the guy who caught some cards against me.

Of course that's not how it worked out as I held on for fourth place and didn't get to bed until after midnight.

The aggro style really does pay off in blogger tourneys. It didn't hurt that when I raised in position I caught a lot of cards, but I doubled my chipstack in the first half hour to get into second place without getting to A SINGLE SHOWDOWN. I figure I got lucky that my table was missing everything and they were a pretty weak/tight group.

Of course that didn't last as I ran into JJ who wasn't going to put up with my shenanigans. I tried playing 69 sooooted into him two hands in a row (hey if it doesn't work the first time it HAS to work the second time, right?) but both times he played back at my whiffs. The first flop was a VERY scary AKT and he called my 3/4 continuation bet. If you're calling a raiser and a flop bet with that kind of scary board, you must have something pretty substantial. Or you think I'm totally full of shit, which I was. The second 69s landed a very non-threatening Ten-high flop, but he still wouldn't lay down his hand, and I didn't have the chips to make him fold, because of his ever increasing (thanks to me) stack.

Those plays crippled me but I did not despair, because that just meant I would get to bed at a reasonable hour. I pushed my Q4o into the BB who called with a pair but a four on the flop and a queen on the turn kept me alive and thrust me back into the middle of the pack. I finally exacted my revenge on JJ when we got moved to another table right next to each other, and he pushed his SB with TJ and I woke up with TT and he didn't hit one of his three outs. It really was fun mixing it up with Jacks all night.

Some chips to work with again and I resumed the barely-checked aggression that worked for me earlier. It didn't work again, but the roller-coaster ride was fun. Eventually I found myself at the final table with the chip lead on the second break. Jordan had just paid the big blind, putting me ahead of him by 19 chips.

KrazyBangs went out on the bubble with a brutal suckout, his set on the flop vs. an overpair that four flushed. Brootal. Jordan somehow went from first to worst to get knocked out in seventh place, and the ever-retarded DontKnow finally called with ace-high no draw like he often does, but this time he didn't catch and got knocked out sixth.

I felt like I was letting my blinds go too easy and wasn't taking enough of them myself. Feeling like a target I took a stand with A6s but got insta-called by ATo from the UTG player, Zeem. The first card I saw on the flop was a six, but unfortunately the last one was a ten. No more miracles for me and I went out fourth.

Poker Comic #118

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Screwed

I'm sure a lot of folks think that the Ohio State Buckeyes got screwed by a 51 day layoff last night, but I think Ron Zook is the real recipient of the screw job.

I figured Florida for a chance in last night's game based purely on conference strength. The teams of the SEC absolutely ate each other out of national contention this season, distancing themselves from the other conferences in quality. This was enough for some light action on the Gator side of the line last night, but nothing to brag about. All the hype scared me from putting any significant action down.

I think we're seeing the same thing in the NFL, but with a playoff the teams might actually beat each other up and the NFC representative, whoever it is, and it could be ANYONE of the teams still in contention, might have a shot. I doubt it as any current team from the AFC right now would be a heavy favorite vs any of the possible NFC contenders.

Living with Bitch

Last night I caught "Living With Ed," a reality show on HGTV about Ed Begley Jr. and his wife as they live an environmentally friendly life totally at his whim.

I can see what Ed's ditzy wife was thinking when she envisioned this show. "People will see how tough it is for me to live with this nutball environmentalist. He's such a burden on me."

Instead she comes off as a whiny, shallow bitch. She constantly moans about not living in Beverly Hills, not living in a mansion, not getting her life served to her on a silver platter.

Wah fricking wah.

In one episode Ed alludes to letting a maid make up the bed and that their doing it together is "faking for the TV cameras." Such maid is never seen, because it would betray the image they are creating of this "primitive" lifestyle.

I expected to see Ed's extreme environmental weirdness, but everything he does seems fairly reasonable. He claims that thirty years ago he bought a book with 50 ideas to improve the environment so he could maybe adopt a few that worked. But they all worked, so he did them all.

Cut to annoying wife bitching about counting on Ed's solar panels being cleaned with a hose and a broom in order for her to run her hair dryer. (It's very plain to see that the most important thing in this woman's world is her hair.) She complains that Ed has to clean the panels FOUR TIMES A YEAR to keep them working at full capacity. Oh the heartbreak she must suffer every three months, watching him hose off the roof for 15 minutes. The later admission that they are on the electrical grid as a backup blows the whole whiny theory out of the water.

There is no limit to her shallowness. She bitches about everything in her home, including the light bulbs, the file cabinets and Ed's Oscar. One moment she's complaining about Ed riding a stationary bike to generate electricity, but why? Because she's in a hurry to get to her posh gym where she can work out in luxury.

Unless you like listening to whiny unreasonable bitching from ultra-rich women, I'd avoid "Living With Ed."

Team DuggleReaper!!

Team DuggleReaper is my entry in F train's Dead Pool. Here's some brief info on why I might have picked them for my team.

1. Sammy Baugh
Slingin' Sammy is the only living charter member of the NFL hall of fame. He was a rookie with the Washington Redskins in 1937 and a legend in DC when I was growing up.
2. Kitty Carlisle
Regular on the TV game show "What's My Line" and "To Tell The Truth." She still sings in venues all over the US, but had to cancel an appearance in December due to her failing health.
3. Kirk Douglas
Born Issur Danielovitch Demsky in 1916, Douglas appeared on Entertainment Tonight in December to celebrate his 90th birthday.
4. Ernest Gallo
Co founder of the Ernest and Julio Gallo winery, and will celebrate his 98th birthday in March. Gallo is the second oldest living billionaire.
5. Billy Graham
America's most famous Evangelist, Rev. Graham was prevented from officiating at the state funeral of former President Gerald R. Ford due to failing health.
6. Paul Harvey
Born in 1918 as Paul Harvey Aurandt in Tulsa Oklahoma, Harvey is the most well known American radio journalist whose broadcast is carried on 1,200 radio stations, 400 Armed Forces Network stations around the world and reprinted in 300 newspapers.
7. Ernie Harwell
Hall of Fame Baseball Broacaster who called one inning of Game 1 of the 2006 World Series for Tigers radio.
8. Kirk Kerkorian
Father of the megaresort, Kerkorian is known as one of the important figures in shaping the city of Las Vegas, Nevada. Estimated net worth of 9 billion, Kirk sold 14 million shares of his GM stake in December 2006. The sale resulted in GM share prices falling 4.1% from its November price.
9. Karl Malden
Born Mladen George Sekulovich, the Emmy and Oscar winning actor of films like "On the Waterfront" and "Patton" is the oldest living male Hollywood star.
10. Les Paul
Inventor of the solid body electric guitar and multi-track recording techniques.
11. Phil Rizzuto
"The Scooter," Rizzuto is the oldest living member of the Baseball Hall of Fame.
12. Mike Wallace
In 2006, Wallace announced his retirement from 60 Minutes after 37 years with the program.
13. Eli Wallach
Wallach's films include "The Misfits," "The Magnificent Seven" and "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." In 2006, Wallach made a guest appearance on the NBC show Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,
14. Richard Widmark
In 2002, Widmark was inducted into the Western Performers Hall of Fame at the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
15. Jane Wyman
Born as Sarah Jane Mayfield in 1916, the academy award winning actress was married to Ronald Reagan from 1940 to 1948.

Semper Beer.

Chilly pointed me at this Advertising Slogan Generator that takes well known advertising slogans and applies them to a word of your choosing, and for some reason I put in the word "Beer."

Hilarity ensued.

You've Always Got Time For Beer.
Better Living Through Beer.
You Too Can Have A Beer Like Mine.
Absolut Beer.
Make Room for the Beer.
Beer Is Job 1.
Make Every Beer Count.
The Beer Effect.
Don't Get Mad, Get Beer.
Beer, Take Me Away.
I Want My Beer.
I Can't Believe It's Not Beer.
Moms Like You Choose Beer.
Nothing Comes Between Me And My Beer.
Life's Pretty Straight Without Beer.
Happiness is Beer-Shaped.
Promise Her Anything, But Give Her Beer.
Have You Had Your Beer Today?
Beer Makes Everything Better.
Ding-Dong! Beer Calling!
Beer Keeps Going and Going.
So Easy, No Wonder Beer is #1.
I Bet He Drinks Beer.

Take That, Courtney Friel

It's great to see Shanna Hiatt on TV representing poker again. She's the hostess of the NBC show "Poker After Dark" which is apparently a direct ripoff of GSN's High Stakes Poker.

Shanna has again started arriving in my search engine hits with great frequency, but most of them are misspellings like Shawna Hyatt, Shana Hiatt, etc.

I posted this before, but since the searches seem to be coming in again, I thought I'd do my duty.

Shanna Hiatt Nude Pictures

Pics provided by Poker Source Online, remember to use referral ID "dugglebogey" when you sign up after you are.......done.

Poker Comic #117

This advertising space available. Please email dugglebogey via his gmail address if you would like to sponsor Poker Tells, the weekly (and sometimes more) poker comic.

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For on_thg

Dude! I figured it out!

Just read some blogs, and when you see something that fucking rules, just post a link.

Bang, you're done!

This fucking rules.

Thanks

Thanks to those who commented, and especially 1st Rule of Poker for the really nice post. Especially coming from a new reader. I discovered his blog a few weeks ago and read several posts. I like the rules thing. Very cool. Also Thanks to JL514 from Drawing Dead for pointing the post out. Sorry about the google login thing. This whole blogger/google conversion thing is screwy for everyone. If anyone wants to contact me for anything, the gmail address over on the right is the best method.

Thanks Ick, I think. I don't specifically blog just to drive Waffles further into madness. That's what comments are for. Plus they enrage his boyfriend Drew. Bonus!

It was funny that someone guessed the black 3000 banner was my 3000th post, when it was actually my 666th. That beast is a bitch to cross.

Anyway, I had intended to take the week between Christmas and New Years off from blogging, but I just can't leave you folks alone. Especially when there are ads you guys desperately need to see. Time off may be just what I need. Writing posts isn't the most time consuming and exhausting part of blogging. Reading all the great and not-so-great blogs out there is the bulk of it. If I'm going to take a break from blogging it's not going to be just a break from writing blog posts, it's going to be a break from reading them too. Now we're talking about breaking an addiction.

A well respected person in the poker business once labeled my blog as "salient." While I appreciated the compliment at the time, lately it seems more like a curse. Once you start having expectations, everything starts going to hell.

Running out of Steam

I'm really running out of steam with this blog.

I just deleted a very long winded post about what I like and dislike about New Year's Resolutions. After re-reading it I decided it was sanctimonious judgmental bullshit. I'm finding myself writing posts and deleting them lately because they're just too lame. I realize that most of my posts are lame, so imagine how bad these had to be to miss the cut!

I'm not sure how to break out of these doldrums. I just know that I'm not posting the kind of entertaining stuff that people are drooling to read. Not that I ever did. But I took a lot more joy in it.

When I started reading blogs I did expect to read about a lot of people going pro. But I thought I would be reading about them going pro with poker, not with blogging. Iggy, Mean Gene, Maudie, Drizz, Speaker, Change100....who's next? I think it's great, although it seems the idea is about 18 months late. Is everyone linking to the new blogs for these people over at PW? They're all keeping their old digs going too, although it seems unlikely to me that those old blogs will maintain the quality we're used to.

Maybe the New Year's Resolution I need to make is to be a better blogger. If I only knew how to do that...

3000

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone!

2006 was an interesting year. Very mixed for me. A lot of good things happened and some bad things too. Nothing as bad as some of my friends. I guess it will be remembered as the year of the UIGEA in the poker world. So it probably will not be remembered fondly.

I made some really great friendships in 2006. A whole new set of coworkers and one person who became very good friend. I finally got to meet some really great invisible online friends in person, and I'm really glad that I did.

Highlights are a trip to Western Michigan, a drive to Northern Kentucky, a week long party in Vegas, and finding a dream job and beautiful new home in Tennessee.

2007 has a great deal of potential after the turmoil of the last year. I think things are going to be great for a lot of people. Hopefully things go as well for everyone reading this as things are going for me. Everyone should be at least as much of a luckbox as I am, to have the life I do.

I wish you all success, friendship, and most of all love.

Saddam Hussein Hangs

I saw on TV this morning that Saddam Hussein's Hanging was video taped. How long until the Saddam Hanging Video appears on You Tube? Maybe they are on vigilant watch for it so they can delete it when it appears. That's an opportunity for all those You Tube wannabe sites out there. Exclusive Saddam Execution...

I am actually anti-capital punishment, but not really for the reasons you'd think. It's just too expensive to kill someone because of this litigious environment in which we live. It costs more than ten times as much to put someone to death than it does to keep them alive in prison for the rest of their lives. If it were double maybe it would be worth it for revenge reasons. Deterrence is a myth. If you add to that the rate of failure and the obvious racial bias in the application of capital punishment, it adds up to a pretty easy conclusion for me.

I guess I understand why people feel Saddam had to be put to death. (That sounds better than "killed" but worse than "put to sleep.") I mean, you're not exactly going to prevent someone from becoming a brutal dictator because they are frightened of the death penalty, but in the case of a national leader who might someday return to power should the right combination of events occur, this certainly is the only sure-fire way to prevent that from happening.

Uncapped Limit Tables

I was wondering if Interpoker tables let you continue betting past the cap if you are down to heads up at a limit poker table, as most casinos will do but some online sites don't.

This was the best possible way to find out. (I wasn't afraid of QQ because this guy was a agresso monkey that would have definitely re-raised queens pre-flop.)

Hold'em FL ($3/$6) - 2006/12/28 - 19:16:48 (ET)
Table "East Side" Seat 4 is the button.
Seat 1: ($21.25 in chips)
Seat 2: ($188.56 in chips)
Seat 3: ($98.06 in chips)
Seat 4: Hero ($142.75 in chips)
Seat 5: ($108.25 in chips)
Seat 6: ($87 in chips)
Seat 5: posts small blind $1.50
Seat 6: posts big blind $3
----- HOLE CARDS -----
dealt to Hero [Ac Ad]
Seat 1: folds
Seat 2: calls $3
Seat 3: folds
Hero: raises $6
Seat 5: folds
Seat 6: calls $3
Seat 2: calls $3
----- FLOP ----- [8d As Qh]
Seat 6: checks
Seat 2: checks
Hero: bets $3
Seat 6: calls $3
Seat 2: calls $3
----- TURN ----- [8d As Qh][Jd]
Seat 6: checks
Seat 2: checks
Hero: bets $6
Seat 6: raises $12
Seat 2: folds
Hero: calls $6
----- RIVER ----- [8d As Qh Jd][Qd]
Seat 6: bets $6
Hero: raises $12
Seat 6: raises $12
Hero: raises $12
Seat 6: raises $12
Hero: raises $12
Seat 6: raises $12
Hero: raises $12
Seat 6: calls $6
----- SHOW DOWN -----
Hero: shows [Ac Ad] (A Full House, Aces full of Queens)
Seat 6: mucks hand [Qc Jh]
Hero collected $145.50 from Main pot
----- SUMMARY -----
Total pot $148.50 Main pot $145.50 Rake $3
Board [8d As Qh Jd Qd]
Seat 4: Hero (button) showed [Ac Ad] and won ($145.50) with A Full House, Aces full of Queens
Seat 6: Seat 6 (big blind) mucked [Qc Jh]

Site for USA Review

The following is a paid advertisement.

The UIGEA changed everything for Online Poker Players. There are a million different stories and interpretations about what the UIGEA means to US players. It's important to know where you stand with Online Gaming Sites and Online Money Deposit Sites.

CompatiblePoker.com's Poker Site for the USA compiles all the information available that US players need to know about the legal status of Online Poker in the USA. The site maintains a list of sites that remain open to US customers as well as a listing of the sites that have closed to the US. If you need to know where to go after your favorite poker site closed, you can find all your options here.

CompatiblePoker.com also maintains an updated list of methods for depositing funds from US players and the official announcements from those resources. There is also a countdown timer for the 270 day grace period that banks have to comply with the UIGEA.

While the site concentrates on poker sites, there is also information on the site for players in the US who are interested in Casino Gambling and Online Sports Betting.

The site has an "Archived Hourly Updates" section containing all the latest happenings in the world of online gaming, and a US Gambling Law FAQ that answers a lot of questions about how the UIGEA and state laws could affect you.

To keep yourself informed and up to date on the latest legal happenings in the Online Gaming world, check out Poker Site for the USA.

Cardroom Supply Review

The following is a paid review.

Now that I've moved away from legal casino poker, I'm interested in getting a home game going again. For my poker supplies, I'm turning to CardroomSupply.com. Why? I want the highest quality poker supplies to impress my new poker friends here in Tennessee. Plus I hate paying for shipping, and CardroomSupply.com has free shipping on all orders over $100.

This is especially important on most of their high end equipment, like this gorgeous Solid Oak Poker Table I am considering. It's also available in a Mahogany, Cherry and Ebony finishes, and the felt is available in numerous colors such as traditional green, blue, burgundy, black velveteen or cloth. Customized upholstery is also available.

It's also very handy that poker chips are available in sets or as individual chips so you can customize your own set. My favorite playing cards, Jumbo Style by Copag, are available, as well as Queen and Derby brand cards. One item I particularly like is the dealer button with the built in tournament timer. Cool and useful!

If you're in the market for poker supplies, please give CardroomSupply.com a try.

Poker Comic #116 sponsored by Free Poker Money

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

R.I.P. James Brown

One way of measuring the greatness of an entertainer is by how many nicknames he generates. James Brown has been called "The Godfather of Soul" and "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business," but my favorite is "Soul Brother Number One."

He had such a profound impact on soul music that he spawned his own genre of R&B, called funk. He had more than a dozen top 10 R&B records before funk was co-opted and perverted into "disco."

Brown continued working hard and made a comeback in the 80's before being derailed by drugs and spousal abuse issues, once landing him a 6 year sentence in prison, of which he served two and a half years.

Rest in Peace.

Poker Comic #115

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

One last Poker Comic before I head down to Florida this afternoon. I know you all have a HUGE sense of humor about this, so enjoy!

I'll try to post from down there, but if I don't get the chance I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Year End Movie Reviews

I compiled a list of all the movies I watched on DVD this year (including TV Series) and ranked them into five categories. This is all the movies I WATCHED this year, not just movies that came out this year. It's obviously not my first viewing for many of these films, but I did watch them this year. There can be only one best, so that category 1 is Best Movie of the year. Without further ado...

Best Movie of the Year

Clerks 2

Other Good Movies

Amazon Women on the Moon
An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder
Baadasssss!
Blade Runner
Cinderella Man
Clerks: First Cut (Not Theatrical Version)
Donnie Darko: Director's Cut
Firefly: Disc 1 (4-Disc Series)
Four Brothers
Glory Road
Good Night, and Good Luck
Greg the Bunny: (2-Disc Series)
Lord of War
Red Dwarf: Series 8 (3-Disc Series)
Serenity
Sin City
Thank You for Smoking
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
The Great Raid
The Ice Harvest
Triumph of the Nerds
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Wedding Crashers
X-Men 3: The Last Stand

Movies Worth Watching

16 Blocks
Aeon Flux
Barnyard
Cars
Click
D.O.A.
Desperado
El Mariachi
Flightplan
Fun with Dick and Jane
King Kong
Lucky Number Slevin
Madagascar
Monster House
Munich
Must Love Dogs
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Over the Hedge
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Proof of Life
Solaris
Spy Game
The Aristocrats
The Brothers Grimm
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe
The Da Vinci Code
The Family Stone
The Greatest Game Ever Played
The Island
The Producers
The Weather Man
Two for the Money
Ultraviolet
Virtuosity
Waiting...
Zathura

Maybe If You're Bored

Bride of Re-Animator
Derailed
Femme Fatale
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Poseidon
Rumor Has It
Talladega Nights
The Break-Up
You, Me and Dupree

I Want Two Hours of My Life Back

Bee Season
Domino
Nacho Libre
The Devil Wears Prada

Craps Hero Review

The following is a paid review.


It's always easy to find the craps table in a busy casino, it's the one with all the people yelling and celebrating around it. One of the more popular posts I've written on this blog is an instructional article on Craps for some folks heading for Vegas who wanted to know more about the game. It's understandable as the craps table in a casino is obviously one of the more exciting experiences.

There's a good reason for the excitement surrounding craps tables. Gamblers know that craps offers some of the best bets in the casino, and you can turn a small investment into a large windfall if you bet correctly and get some lucky rolls.

CrapsHero.com is a site dedicated to learning to avoid the bad bets on a craps table to maximize your opportunity to win big. There are many crazy and confusing bets in craps, and the site can guide you to some of the ways to avoid giving too much advantage to the house.

CrapsHero.com offers a beginners guide to craps in their How to Play Craps section, along with a Craps Rules and Craps Odds section to give you overall knowledge of the game.

The site also offers information on the various forms of craps out there in Brick-and-Mortar casinos, as well as a list of sites were you can roll the virtual dice online.

If you've ever been interested in that loud crazy dice game in casinos and you've wanted to get in on the action and the fun, give CrapsHero.com a try.

Southern Hospitality

Southern Comfort was created by an Irish immigrant named Martin Wilkes Heron who came to the states in 1870 and worked at a saloon in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Blending the flavors of peach, orange, vanilla and cinnamon he came up with Southern Comfort in 1874 as an alternative to the harsh whiskeys of Mississippi and Kentucky.

Southern Comfort was first bottled in Memphis Tennessee in 1889, selling for the very high (at the time) price of $2.50 per bottle. By the turn of the century there were countless imitations of Southern Comfort, but the secret recipe was carefully guarded. In 1904 the distillery was moved to Missouri for the World's Fair in Saint Louis where it won the gold medal alongside Jack Daniels Sour Mash Whiskey.

Although the distilleries of Southern Comfort were halted during prohibition in the 1920s, the guarded recipe resumed production after the eighteenth amendment was repealed in 1933. Even today only ten people know the recipe to Southern Comfort, which is available in 60 countries worldwide and bottles 2.2 million cases of the drink per year.

While the liqueur is distilled and bottled in Saint Louis, Mo. it still remembers its roots in New Orleans and has set up the Southern Comfort Music Fund to help New Orleans Musicians get back on their feet after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Please drink responsibly. The preceding post was sponsored by Southern Comfort Company, Louisville Ky.

Poker Comic #114 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

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Beautiful Day

Today was such a beautiful day. The temperature got above 70 degrees here in Middle Tennessee and I took the opportunity to stain my deck. It was simple mindless work, and I got to consider what was going on in the world.

It was just such a warm wonderful day where you get the feeling that nothing horrible ever happens in the world and if something unfortunate happens you will never be held personally responsible for it.

Such a nice warm wonderful place this world is. I'm so glad I get the pleasure of living in it. I hope I never wake up.

Bloggers and Alcohol

Sometimes I'm ashamed to be associated with poker bloggers. The personal attacks against Michael Craig for his concerned post about drunken bloggers are the type of thing that shame me.

Here is the post in question: PokerWorks

Mr. Craig doesn't use anyone's name. He is not intentionally trying to humiliate anyone. I don't even know who he is talking about. I didn't really care who it was until all these bloggers started attacking Michael about it. Now I'm curious who all these bloggers feel so protective about. She must be hot.

Let's face it. One person got so drunk she was actually discovered by paramedics passed out in the bathroom. Another surrendered her battle with sobriety so she could "drink with the bloggers." If you see that and just laugh it off without being concerned, I'm worried your humanity.

It is a well known fact that many people attend these blogger events for the sole purpose of drinking with friends. Some fully intend to drink to EXCESS. That's a scary thought. It's been said several times that if you are a gambler and you don't think about addiction, you are a fool. If you're a drinker, I think the same is true.

While I'm no tea totaler, I'm also not a very big drinker. I honestly think I am a bit too careful about alcohol, but I'd rather err on the side of caution.

But some of the drinking that goes along with the blogger events is EXTREME. It can make me feel uncomfortable reading about it. I totally understand Michael's unease in actually witnessing it.

Nobody is blaming bloggers for what a few people do when they're impaired. But bloggers definitely encourage people to drink, and I think that is something to be very careful with. Bloggers tend to glorify excessive drinking. A lot of it is creative license. But in reality, that's a very scary subject.

Craig is absolutely not making fun of anyone. He's showing concern about a serious issue. And if you try to get serious when bloggers are trying to have fun, get ready to be attacked.

My security comprimised? Or Full Tilt's?

Read this:

MathP

Same thing happened to him as happened to me, except he lost more. And he uses a Mac.

It could be a coincidence. Unless it's not.

F-Train's comment

There would be more guarantees for your money if you had better AV protection or didn't download pr0n and warez that are infected with keyloggers. I'm not sure why the risk that you might download a keylogger should be shifted to FTP.

They gave you the hand histories and the IP address. What more should they do?

You also don't address the fact that, as far as FTP is concerned, you could be trying to defraud them. How does Full Tilt know that you didn't ask a friend to login to your account from a different site and dump your chips?

Thanks F-Train, I was waiting for someone to make this argument.

#1 - FTP is convinced that chip dumping DID NOT occur. So how could I be defrauding them? If chip dumping did occur, they would take the money from the recipient and give it back to me. Where's the profit in that?

That suspicion goes both ways, doesn't it? What's to prevent FTP from taking my money, doctoring some hand histories and making up an IP? Absoultely nothing. I have no way to verify that those hands actually occurred. I don't think this, but I don't have a good argument to convince a more paranoid person that it's not the case.

#2 - It's the assumption that I have a keylogger or spyware on my computer that bothers me. What if I didn't? My Anti-Virus protection is up to date. I've run every scanner I could download, even paying for some so I could find out if my system had been infected. Other than tracking cookies, they have found absolutely nothing. This is a brand new laptop install with basically nothing but OS and poker rooms and Yahoo Instant Messenger installed. If I can prove that my security was not at fault, will that get me anywhere? NO. What's more frustrating is that since I couldn't find anything, I have no idea if I am safe RIGHT NOW. They're very quick to assume the problem is totally my fault, and I'm not convinced. Especially as more and more people contact me who have had similar problems.

Is there a virus out there stealing FTP passwords? Is there spyware going around that steals that information? What is is called? Where has it been sighted? How many people have been affected? What SPECIFICALLY should I be on the lookout for?

#3 - What more should they do? More awareness that this is a possibility might have been nice.

I was at the blogger event in July when Howard Lederer spoke about how much his company does to protect customers from being ripped off. I didn't hear him mention this possibility. I was laboring under the false assumption that if something like this happened, FTP would be there to protect me. I was wrong and I learned my lesson.

I'm certainly not saying that any other poker room would handle this any differently, or that another poker system is safer that FTP. I actually thought that FTP was different, somehow better than most places that would just say "you're screwed, we're sorry." I was DEAD WRONG. My bad.

Had I been more aware, I would have left much less money in my account. But FTP doesn't want the constant deposit/withdrawal process that might actually have kept my money safe, because that would affect their bottom line. But now I know better, and hopefully anyone that reads this knows better too.

I'm not blaming FTP for ripping me off. I'm not saying people shouldn't play at FTP. I'm just saying don't leave big piles of money there. Yes, that's a pain in the ass, but unless you want to take that risk, you should do it.

Disgusting Realization

I had a thought today that made me sick to my stomach.

The morons who sponsored the UIGEA were right. I still think the UIGEA was horribly wrong and will not do a single thing to address the situation. But in a way, this is exactly what they were talking about. Their attempt to fix it was lame and ridiculous, but things like this give them ammunition to enact these horrible laws.

I was operating under the fallacy that money kept in an account at someplace like Full Tilt Poker was safe. If something beyond my control happened to that money, I thought a respected site like Full Tilt Poker would do something to protect me and my funds.

I was wrong and the UIGEA folks were right. It is a totally unregulated industry that pretty much makes up its own rules on whether they want to protect your money or not. I am relegated to taking their word for the fact that my money was taken to the tables by some untraceable dirtbag and blown at the tables for absolutely no gain to him except the thrill of putting the screws to me. They've given me an IP address and a big text file of hand histories that show someone blowing my money to a few players over several hands.

There is no question that the player is not me. I played my final hands at the site, visited the Riverchasers tournament to chat with Al and Michael Craig for a few minutes, and the moment I logged off someone logged on from a completely different IP address and proceeded to ransack my bankroll.

Yet Full Tilt Poker, while not responsible for the disappearance of my money, certainly assisted in it's dispersal. There are no guarantees for your money. You are not putting it in a bank, you are not depositing it into a safe place. You are basically putting it in the hands of some foreign company, and hoping they have enough self-interest to protect your funds.

Again I remind you, do NOT keep your money on a poker site. It is not safe there, and if someone gets into your account you will not be protected in any way.

Your Money is NOT SAFE at Full Tilt Poker

I'm still a bit shocked about how this ended. There was very little doubt in my mind that Full Tilt Poker would make this right. I have heard so many good things from people who have had positive experiences with Full Tilt Poker's support, I didn't think this would happen.

But it is absolutely true. Your money is not safe at Full Tilt Poker. Do not keep any money in your account there. If you want to play, deposit when you play and withdraw when you exit. If you have money on Full Tilt Poker right now, log on and withdraw it. NOW. If you use Neteller, there is no fee for this procedure and it is instantaneous. Do not keep your money at the site, it is not safe. It may cost them to do so many transfers, but as long as it doesn't cost you, it is the only way to guarantee the safety of your money.

Don't ask me what to do about tournament tokens. Those will always be at risk, unless you play them immediately after winning them. Luckily they are basically worthless to a thief, since they can't be transferred or redeemed for cash.

Fortunately for me I do not keep a large portion of my bankroll at any one site, but I do (did!) leave money at different poker sites to make it easier to just log on and play. This will be especially difficult for sites that hold your cash hostage while you work on a deposit bonus.

Security

They are claiming, without proof, that the security of my system has been compromised. I guess I can claim the same thing, that their security has been compromised. I have the same amount of proof.

I would like to see Full Tilt Poker do more to protect your money, should you decide to leave it at the site. Something simple like having the option to prevent "foreign" IP addresses from accessing your account. Just a simple check box that says "Only allow US IP addresses."

Update:

Full Tilt Poker support gave me the hand histories. The guy didn't play $.50/$1 No Limit, he played $2/$4 No Limit. The hand histories are strange because many of they don't give the names and amounts of all the players in the hands. The money was dumped in about 70 hands. The bulk of my money went to the following players.

hustlaaa4life
HarriPotter
JeffreyAlan
poly_baller

Here's an example of the hands, notice how it doesn't give info on all the seated players?

FullTiltPoker Game #1366234086: Table Plumas (6 max) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 2006/12/07 - 0:00:56 ET

Seat 5: 39zonk ($491.80)
Seat 6: pokerPIMP_5 ($417.20)
poly_baller posts the small blind of $2
39zonk posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to DuggleBogey [9c 8d]
pokerPIMP_5 folds
DuggleBogey calls $4
HarriPotter: huh?
HarriPotter calls $4
JeffreyAlan raises to $16
poly_baller calls $14
39zonk calls $12
DuggleBogey calls $12
HarriPotter calls $12
*** FLOP *** [5c Ks 7d]
poly_baller checks
39zonk checks
DuggleBogey bets $157.10, and is all in
HarriPotter folds
JeffreyAlan folds
poly_baller calls $157.10
39zonk folds
DuggleBogey shows [9c 8d]
poly_baller shows [Kc Jh]
*** TURN *** [5c Ks 7d] [3h]
*** RIVER *** [5c Ks 7d 3h] [As]
DuggleBogey shows Ace King high
poly_baller shows a pair of Kings
poly_baller wins the pot ($391.20) with a pair of Kings
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $394.20 | Rake $3
Board: [5c Ks 7d 3h As]
Seat 1: DuggleBogey showed [9c 8d] and lost with Ace King high
Seat 2: HarriPotter folded on the Flop
Seat 3: JeffreyAlan (button) folded on the Flop
Seat 4: poly_baller (small blind) showed [Kc Jh] and won ($391.20) with a pair of Kings
Seat 5: 39zonk (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: pokerPIMP_5 didn't bet (folded)

Here's the IP of the guy who used my account [[199.238.132.175 ]]

Thus Endeth My Relationship with Full Tilt Poker

Excerpted from Full Tilt Poker Support Email:

Upon review of your account, I have determined that your account was
logged in from a foreign IP address at approximately 21:53 ET.
Furthermore, it appears the individual who accessed your account sat at
the real money tables and proceeded to lose $582.45 playing $0.5/$1 No
Limit.

(Blah Blah Blah, it's probably some virus/spyware on your computer...)

Having said that, please realize that Full Tilt Poker can not be held
responsible for any funds lost under these circumstances. We apologize
that this is the case, and there is nothing more we can about your lost
funds.

Not only are they doing nothing about the person who stole my money, they are doing nothing to help me find them. I have no IP address, no ISP, nothing. There are no details about the person who received the chip dumps. They won't give me hand histories to see for myself.

They are completely and totally useless, and their site cannot be trusted.

Since that's about the amount I collected from them in blog ads, I figure it's a wash. I would not feel safe ever depositing money there again. There is no spyware/keylogger on my computer. I have no idea how this happened, so I have no idea if it will happen again.

I will miss the Mookie.

Poker Comic #113 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Interpoker.com Site Review

After reading on several blogs about what a profitable poker site Interpoker.com is, I thought I'd check it out and do a little site review.

My first impression is that it is pretty much like every other poker site, but just a little bit better. Interpoker.com has many of the most popular features that most of the successful poker sites have, but they seem to have improved almost every detail.

Take your deposit bonus. You can get one at just about every site out there,
but Interpoker.com only requires a 5x clearance, rather than a 7x or even
10x clearance rates that are more common among the competition.

Interpoker.com also give all players a brand new deposit bonus every month,
giving you a $100 bonus to work toward each month. Instead of random deposit
bonus promotions that most poker sites have occasionally, you can count on
Interpoker.com every month.

Like many sites, Interpoker.com has bad beat jackpots, but unlike the
others, there is no jackpot drop added to the rake. The money for the
jackpot prize pool isn't taken from the players, it's contributed by the
site. They have back beat jackpots in Stud and Omaha too, not just Holdem.

Interpoker.com also has a very innovative "Get Paid to Play" system.
Everyone that signs up with Interpoker.com is eligible for the Prop Player
incentive promotion. If you are waiting for a game on a full table a message
may pop up offering you a cash incentive to go to a particular table and
start a game. Depending upon how many people there are in the poker room you
could see the prop message several times a day. Interpoker.com will pay up
to $30 per hour for any amount of time you play on that table.

If you feel the need for speed, Interpoker.com has special "Lightning Games"
listed in the lobby. In Lightning Games the time to act is only 12 seconds
instead of the normal 22 seconds. The games play much faster, but Lightning
Games are only Limit games.

Interpoker.com also has leagues and promotions that change every month.
There is a casino attached, with specialty games like Holdem Blackjack,
which you have to see for yourself.

If you're looking for a new poker room with innovative promotions that
really have the players in mind, give Interpoker.com a try.

The preceding was a paid advertisement.

Remove Party Poker Icon from Internet Explorer

I get a lot of search hits from people that are trying to remove the Party Poker Icon that appears in your toolbar after installing Party Poker. Other poker rooms do this as well, including Titan Poker, Bodog Poker, Absolute Poker and many others.



A lot of the searches hit me, but I don't really have instructions on how to do this, so I thought I would come up with something quick and dirty for those people who are desperate enough to take my advice. I've done this on my own computers and it works, but I don't guarantee you won't fuck your computer up if you do it wrong.

If you just want to remove the Icon from the toolbar so you don't have to look at it, the procedure is very easy. Just select "View" from the menu, select "Toolbars" and "Customize." You can then select the icons and click "Remove" to keep them from showing up in your Internet Explorer.



If you want to remove them from your system completely, it's a little more complicated. They are actually entries into your system registry, so you must edit this to remove them.

Start the registry editor by going to "Start" and typing "regedit" into the "Run" dialog and click "OK." Within the registry editor, expand the tree for "HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE" then "SOFTWARE" then "Microsoft" then "Internet Explorer" then "Extensions." Within that tree there are several folders, and each one of them represents an icon added to your Internet Explorer Toolbar. Find the one with titles in it that read "Party Poker." Right click the folder (in the left part of the Editor Interface) and select "Delete."



Repeat for whatever icons you want removed. The next time you start Internet Explorer, those Icons will be gone.

I hope this helped some people.

FTP Update

Full Tilt Poker Support has suspended my account so they can investigate what happened to my money. They say they will contact me and reopen my account when the investigation is over.

They replied to my email within an hour, and about an hour later they locked my account for the investigation. I will keep updating when I hear anything.

Bad Beat at Full Tilt

Edit: I got ripped off at Full Tilt Poker, and support did nothing to help me. Here's how I discovered it.

I read about the new mixed games at Full Tilt online and was eager to logon when I got home and try them out. I picked out a nice HOSE game, attempted to sit, and I got a message that I didn't have enough in my account, the minimum I must have is $2.50. A very odd message since I had hundreds of dollars in my account.

I clicked the cashier button, and it told me that my account held $.03 and two tournament tokens.

What The Fuck?

Has my account been hacked? There are no account transfers in my history, so either someone gained access to my account and blew my bankroll, or there are some serious accounting errors going on over at Full Tilt Poker.

I sent an email to FTP support asking them what happened to my cash. I'll update when I hear any news. This should be interesting.

Update: I got ripped off, and Full Tilt Poker is doing nothing about the scam. If you play at Full Tilt Poker, do not keep any money there, it is not safe. Deposit when you play, and withdraw when you finish.

Benny and the Jet

The federal government obviously feels, with legislation in effect like the UIGEA, that full grown adult Americans aren't responsible enough to decide what they can and cannot do with their own money.

So if they are going to stop people from gambling (in non-approved ways, of course) on the Internet, shouldn't they be stopping this?


Click picture to see the full con. (Normally I hate to link things like this, but I'm positive nobody that reads this will actually donate anything to this moron. Incidentally, doesn't the graphic at the top make you think they are HARVESTING SOULS! SOULS! SOULS!???)

Yes, Benny Hinn, universal scumbag evangelist, wants 6000 of his most faithful partners suckers to donate $1000 each so he can raise the six million dollars for a down payment on a FORTY MILLION DOLLAR LUXURY EXECUTIVE JET for himself.

This is not a joke or a hoax. This filthy con-man is trying to bilk people out of six million dollars so he can have his own personal jet to make it easier for him to fly around and con more people out of their money more efficiently.

If the federal government thinks it's appropriate to tell adults what they can and cannot spend their money on, this seems like an obvious thing to stop too, doesn't it? Anyone that donates to this obvious scam-artist is certainly not responsible enough to decide what they should be spending their money on, right? Federal government? Hello?

Poker Comic #112 Sponsored by FREE POKER MONEY

Poker Comic brought to you by Free Poker Money at PokerSourceOnline.com!. Some places offer $25 Free Money. Some offer $50 or $75 Free Money. Poker Source Online gives $100 at Absolute Poker. No Deposit Required. No Credit Card Required. (New Players Only, Must be 21 or older.)

Click HERE to view the Comics Archive

Fun with Picasa

If you're into digital photography, download Google's Picasa software. It's 100% free, and you can do pretty cool stuff like this:



Click pic to see full size.

Update: Here is the original photo I used to make this:

Week of Jealousy Begins...

Grubby's Theme

Now you swear and kick and beg us
That youre not a gamblin man
Then you find youre back in vegas
With a handle in your hand
Your black cards can make you money
So you hide them when youre able
In the land of milk and honey
You must put them on the table
You go back jack do it again
Wheel turnin round and round
You go back jack do it again

There has been a new addition to the Bogey Family!

Her name is Molli, it's a modified version of the Chinese word for magic. Get it? She's a Chinese Shar-Pei, and she's black....

Next Best Thing

I may not be going to Vegas (envy sucks!) but I am doing some traveling for the upcoming holidays so I thought I would get some reading material for the trip.

I got the pleasure of sitting next to Jay Greenspan at the last blogger event, and even though he was giving he helpful advice, it didn't stop me from pushing all my chips in the pot against a Royal Flush. I do appreciate his empathy when I showed him the second nut flush, while I'm pretty sure the rest of the table was thinking "moron!"

Everything about his book Hunting Fish seems like the perfect book for me. I love adventures, I love hearing about cultural differences, and I love hearing about someone taking huge pots off of fish. After talking with Jay and getting an idea of his sense of humor, I'm laying odds that this book will definitely entertain me.

I also ordered Professor, the Banker, and the Suicide King, The: Inside the Richest Poker Game of All Time by Michael Craig. Michael spoke at the blogger event and was very entertaining, so I expect the same from his book. I have heard a lot about it, and I'm sure it's a great read.

I tuned into Full Tilt too late to play in the Riverchasers Tournament last night. There were 98 Entries, (nobody brings em in like Al) including Mr. Craig himself. I dropped in for a few minutes and said hello, and he was entertaining the whole table with his stories, like the one about his chance to steal Clonie Gowan's underwear.

Ask him about it next time you see him at Full Tilt, he's there all the time!